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Part two of Thea's story is finally finished. My vacation lasted a bit longer than I expected due to some events (nothing bad, per-say), so it took a bit longer to get back into the groove of things. Though the heat is still around, stalling me a bit, I did manage to get this one done earlier than expected.
As for the adult stuff, I still think that this series isn't going to have much of it. Other the occasional mention of something sexual, there probably isn't going to be a specific scene devoted to it. However, I'm currently working on something that is specifically Adult, for the first time at that. It's about 60% done at the moment, so if you're interested, check back in about a week. It'll be titled Counting Stars, if that aids you in some way.
Regardless, there's not much to say about this act. I mentioned on the first look of it that I'm not sure how this series will even end up. I fear that Anthem/Lonely doesn't really have a specific Theme to it. Be it a comedy, tragedy, definitely not adult-we've just covered that. Even just a generic overall message doesn't really seem to be there. This was my main worry that I had when I started writing the first part, I just had an idea for a beginning and threw it on digital paper.
That's not to say that I don't know where the story is going, It'll at least have two more acts before it's complete. Even got most of it planned, but again: lack of message. Maybe I'm thinking too much into this. Even then, I guess not all stories need to be deep. They just need to... "Be."
Regardless, enjoy this act. Oh, and at some point way later on (maybe the last quarter), I started playing with different fonts. If they come up as a series of squares (meaning, your computer does not recognize the letters), let me know. It was just a font that was on either Windows 8 or 10, so it might be in the default of wordpad or something. I donno, just warning/saying.
Anthem of the Lonely © Nine Lashes
Vendetta © Deligma
Both are clean in vocals, though Vendetta does have some harsh ones once in a while. But they are almost... "Beneath" the music. Only really hearing them when you're listening for them.
Oh, and feel free to leave any suggests for the next act you'd like to see finished. I'm just jumping around others, but I'm half feeling Fear/Weakness Act 3 after Counting Stars. Let me know if you have a suggestion.
As for the adult stuff, I still think that this series isn't going to have much of it. Other the occasional mention of something sexual, there probably isn't going to be a specific scene devoted to it. However, I'm currently working on something that is specifically Adult, for the first time at that. It's about 60% done at the moment, so if you're interested, check back in about a week. It'll be titled Counting Stars, if that aids you in some way.
Regardless, there's not much to say about this act. I mentioned on the first look of it that I'm not sure how this series will even end up. I fear that Anthem/Lonely doesn't really have a specific Theme to it. Be it a comedy, tragedy, definitely not adult-we've just covered that. Even just a generic overall message doesn't really seem to be there. This was my main worry that I had when I started writing the first part, I just had an idea for a beginning and threw it on digital paper.
That's not to say that I don't know where the story is going, It'll at least have two more acts before it's complete. Even got most of it planned, but again: lack of message. Maybe I'm thinking too much into this. Even then, I guess not all stories need to be deep. They just need to... "Be."
Regardless, enjoy this act. Oh, and at some point way later on (maybe the last quarter), I started playing with different fonts. If they come up as a series of squares (meaning, your computer does not recognize the letters), let me know. It was just a font that was on either Windows 8 or 10, so it might be in the default of wordpad or something. I donno, just warning/saying.
Anthem of the Lonely © Nine Lashes
Vendetta © Deligma
Both are clean in vocals, though Vendetta does have some harsh ones once in a while. But they are almost... "Beneath" the music. Only really hearing them when you're listening for them.
Oh, and feel free to leave any suggests for the next act you'd like to see finished. I'm just jumping around others, but I'm half feeling Fear/Weakness Act 3 after Counting Stars. Let me know if you have a suggestion.
Category Story / All
Species Western Dragon
Size 120 x 80px
File Size 439.9 kB
Listed in Folders
Hey Bartan,
Luckily I have a bit of free time (unfortunately not too much),
This is again, quite the story! It seems their world is in quite some trouble by those experiments. The action scenes written with some humor in the mix were quite fun to read. The action was also again written quite well and follow-able. I also like how the story is going, so I am being excited to read the next part.
Mm, it also nice to know a bit more about Roe, but still a mystery as he can take the form of a dragon (prologue chapter)? At least a interesting character - with a dangerous girl friend :P, maybe he will be able to help makings better as he has a different origin then others. And hopefully everything turns out fine.
I do not really think in every story or something as to be a message - it is always nice extra as it has one. Not all books have really a message, so I think you should not find it an obligation to have one. :)
Oh about suggestions - I am afraid I do not have one, but the plan sounds good to me! I see I am already quite behind with the number of stories so I will try to catch up if time permits it.
A bit of a short comment, and will be busy again probably for some while. Hopefully it does not take too much time for me to read and comment again. I wish you the best of luck!
- Silent Moonlight Dragon
Luckily I have a bit of free time (unfortunately not too much),
This is again, quite the story! It seems their world is in quite some trouble by those experiments. The action scenes written with some humor in the mix were quite fun to read. The action was also again written quite well and follow-able. I also like how the story is going, so I am being excited to read the next part.
Mm, it also nice to know a bit more about Roe, but still a mystery as he can take the form of a dragon (prologue chapter)? At least a interesting character - with a dangerous girl friend :P, maybe he will be able to help makings better as he has a different origin then others. And hopefully everything turns out fine.
I do not really think in every story or something as to be a message - it is always nice extra as it has one. Not all books have really a message, so I think you should not find it an obligation to have one. :)
Oh about suggestions - I am afraid I do not have one, but the plan sounds good to me! I see I am already quite behind with the number of stories so I will try to catch up if time permits it.
A bit of a short comment, and will be busy again probably for some while. Hopefully it does not take too much time for me to read and comment again. I wish you the best of luck!
- Silent Moonlight Dragon
Hello Silent!
Thank you for using your free time to read through this. I haven't really felt that comfortable with this story as a whole, as said a bit before. But you're probably right, it doesn't really need to have a specific message or theme overall. It just needs to be enjoyable, and if you think it is, then it was worth the time writing it.
There's probably going to be a little bit more action in the next two acts, though I'm still working on what scene will take place when. More will be explained about the characters and their pasts (specifically Roe, so don't worry), as well as introduce another previously mentioned character from several stories ago. It's possible that you might not recognize the name, but he was mentioned a few times in Wrong Side Of Heaven - False Freedom (the one where Dia was a little hatchling). Other than that, no spoilers :x
I'm not sure what I'll do next between Anthem and Fear/Weakness. Overall, I'll probably just work on what I feel like at the time. I'm still working a bit here and there on the winter story, which I think will only go as far as The Arms Of Sorrow in terms of timeframe. That act might be a bit long (more of an average length for me) and Counting Stars is only about 30-35 pages, so you're really not that far behind. Whenever the winter story comes out, feel free to jump right into it, whereas I'll try to keep the spoilers and such to a minimum. It's honestly more for the previous year's stories, excluding Wrong/Heaven (Because Winter's Fall was mostly about that series).
A comment is a comment, no matter how short Thank you again Silent, you always seem to brighten my week with these. I look forward to hearing from you again!
Much
~Bartan
Thank you for using your free time to read through this. I haven't really felt that comfortable with this story as a whole, as said a bit before. But you're probably right, it doesn't really need to have a specific message or theme overall. It just needs to be enjoyable, and if you think it is, then it was worth the time writing it.
There's probably going to be a little bit more action in the next two acts, though I'm still working on what scene will take place when. More will be explained about the characters and their pasts (specifically Roe, so don't worry), as well as introduce another previously mentioned character from several stories ago. It's possible that you might not recognize the name, but he was mentioned a few times in Wrong Side Of Heaven - False Freedom (the one where Dia was a little hatchling). Other than that, no spoilers :x
I'm not sure what I'll do next between Anthem and Fear/Weakness. Overall, I'll probably just work on what I feel like at the time. I'm still working a bit here and there on the winter story, which I think will only go as far as The Arms Of Sorrow in terms of timeframe. That act might be a bit long (more of an average length for me) and Counting Stars is only about 30-35 pages, so you're really not that far behind. Whenever the winter story comes out, feel free to jump right into it, whereas I'll try to keep the spoilers and such to a minimum. It's honestly more for the previous year's stories, excluding Wrong/Heaven (Because Winter's Fall was mostly about that series).
A comment is a comment, no matter how short Thank you again Silent, you always seem to brighten my week with these. I look forward to hearing from you again!
Much
~Bartan
This story has definitely gone in a way I was not expecting. At first I was trying to figure out what timezone this was in, but after seeing bits of what I am interpreting as Middle ages, Colonial, and now futuristic, I've realized that It's simply it's own thing.
I took your words on your reply to the first part to heart and let my imagination go wild.
I really enjoyed the fight scene at the end against the Unborn. (if I remember it's name correctly, I might check back) The scene itself was actually quite easy to follow, and I could see the positions you were describing. The Unborn itself I've imagined as a twisted amalgamation of organic and obsidian. A humanoid figure with no face or facial features, and smooth black making up it's "skin." With jagged pieces of broke off pieces, and a curled, imperfect interpretation of a ribcage at the center of it's chest. It was quite a fun read.
The lab itself I thought was written quite well, and felt very videogame-y. As I'm sure was the intended effect. Especially with finding the journal entries out of order and how much it peeved Thea. x3
The description of Flyare with all the crystals was quite a unique character design I can't say I've seen most anywhere else.
The whole Novel really is just oozing with creativity and mystery. I'm having alot of fun reading it. I can't wait to see what happens next in part 3!
I took your words on your reply to the first part to heart and let my imagination go wild.
I really enjoyed the fight scene at the end against the Unborn. (if I remember it's name correctly, I might check back) The scene itself was actually quite easy to follow, and I could see the positions you were describing. The Unborn itself I've imagined as a twisted amalgamation of organic and obsidian. A humanoid figure with no face or facial features, and smooth black making up it's "skin." With jagged pieces of broke off pieces, and a curled, imperfect interpretation of a ribcage at the center of it's chest. It was quite a fun read.
The lab itself I thought was written quite well, and felt very videogame-y. As I'm sure was the intended effect. Especially with finding the journal entries out of order and how much it peeved Thea. x3
The description of Flyare with all the crystals was quite a unique character design I can't say I've seen most anywhere else.
The whole Novel really is just oozing with creativity and mystery. I'm having alot of fun reading it. I can't wait to see what happens next in part 3!
~
Y-yeah, the 'timezone'/Era thing is a bit confusing at times, I admit. But don't forget about off-story with Krow in the first act: he lived through what was essentially... 1,300 years? Or was it 13,000? But yeah. Basically a species being built from the ground up until everything 'resets' and starts over again. There are going to be some lingering technologies, but that laboratory is an exception: you may have noticed that some of the data journals kept mentioning a "Force" as if it were a person? This is a very very common structure I've used in nearly all my stories so far, but in this act I did add a little bit to help remind people about it:
*New scene*
"So, they're not Gods?" Thea asked the black one, tearing apart a bit more sinew from a bison.
"Nah. They tend to see Gods as below them. The Sixes too, if you can believe that."
"But if they can manipulate everything...?" The large one grunted, trying to make sense of this. "Okay, but who's controlling the Forces?"
"A Counterweight does." His blue head tilted at him. "And don't ask who keeps that thing in line, that's as far as I got."
Past these scenes, the Forces are not involved much, so if you don't understand do not worry about it. If you want to understand more, we can talk about it later
I absolutely love Flyare myself, but she is impossible to get art of, sadly x.x; Only because I feel bad for asking someone to draw literally thousands of shards that make up her body :x
Still, I'm happy you enjoyed this one Tune
Y-yeah, the 'timezone'/Era thing is a bit confusing at times, I admit. But don't forget about off-story with Krow in the first act: he lived through what was essentially... 1,300 years? Or was it 13,000? But yeah. Basically a species being built from the ground up until everything 'resets' and starts over again. There are going to be some lingering technologies, but that laboratory is an exception: you may have noticed that some of the data journals kept mentioning a "Force" as if it were a person? This is a very very common structure I've used in nearly all my stories so far, but in this act I did add a little bit to help remind people about it:
*New scene*
"So, they're not Gods?" Thea asked the black one, tearing apart a bit more sinew from a bison.
"Nah. They tend to see Gods as below them. The Sixes too, if you can believe that."
"But if they can manipulate everything...?" The large one grunted, trying to make sense of this. "Okay, but who's controlling the Forces?"
"A Counterweight does." His blue head tilted at him. "And don't ask who keeps that thing in line, that's as far as I got."
Past these scenes, the Forces are not involved much, so if you don't understand do not worry about it. If you want to understand more, we can talk about it later
I absolutely love Flyare myself, but she is impossible to get art of, sadly x.x; Only because I feel bad for asking someone to draw literally thousands of shards that make up her body :x
Still, I'm happy you enjoyed this one Tune
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