Wherein BUNNY!

For those who are just tuning in, this is a story I wrote when ten years old. As a result, the writing is... bad. Hilariously bad. Let's read!

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Annotations in red. Annotations pertaining to something not visible in plain text are omitted from this transcription

Hot rod XVI
The return of Sardor


Sardor returns You don’t say.

I went outside and found out that Satan wasn’t kidding. Sardor was back and with a sword, wings and the best skill I’ve ever seen. He immediately charged at me. He swung at me and missed me by millimeters flat!!! I charged at him and he blocked my attack. He jumped, did a backwards summersault in the air, and disappeared. Having now watched History of Power Rangers, I cannot help but think of the evil or deceived rangers that tend to pop up in said show, who pop up, wipe the floor with the rangers, and leave. That said, I must give myself credit. I finally made Sardor no longer a joke… for now, at least. He was the best fighter I had ever seen (except me, of course). And modest, too. Who would’ve guessed? Have I met my match I thought. Nah.


On the night of Easter Mood whiplash!

Did you ever think that the Easter bunny was some piece of rubbish your parents came up with? Same here. Same here with Santa and the tooth fairy too. However, did you ever stay up all Easter night fighting vampires? I didn’t think so. I fought a tough one. He called himself “the death cupid.” I called him “the dead stupid.” Oy… We started to fight. I won. You know the story’s bad when it goes past violating “show, don’t tell” and becomes a case of “tell, don’t tell.” I saw the Easter bunny walk by. For any who are curious, this incarnation of the Easter Bunny has no relation to the May Cottontail character I would create years after this story was written. My friends were in shock. The talking bird and the fox who travel with the anthropomorphic sword-wielding fox are surprised by the anthropomorphic rabbit. Okay, then. Byrd said “whoa!” and Fox, of course, said absolutely nothing. I was in shock for two reasons. One of the reasons was that I didn’t even realize they were right behind me. Okay, I admit, that one was a bit clever and amusing. Suddenly a vampire came out. He had a sword [b]“No you don’t!!!”[/u] HOT ROD MAAAAD! I yelled. The Easter bunny looked at me with a you’re-not-the-boss-of-me face. The vampire did something very unexpected. He put his sword around the Easter bunny’s neck and said “Don’t move or the boy dies!” “Hey! I’m a girl you stooge!” said the Easter bunny. I thought man, she has worse timing than me. I did something I never thought I would ever do. I ran. I ran so fast that if I ran this fast when I was trying to get into the track team I’d make it to the top. You are in the body of the one who, other than Metal Sonic (and, inexplicably, Dr. Robotnik), is pretty much the only one who comes even close to canonically reaching the speed of the fastest thing alive, at least in the Genesis era. I signaled for Byrd and fox to stay there. When I got home I acted fast. I got on the superboard and flew through the chimney. I got behind him without being noticed and landed behind the vampire. And apparently, the vampire had not done anything since Hot Rod left. I was able to stab the vampire without doing any harm to The Easter bunny. The vampire was pretty close to the Easter bunny so it was difficult. It was after that when I realized that there wasn’t much time. How do you know she’s running out of time? I mean, sure, you can tell it’s almost sunrise, perhaps, but how do you know she’s not walking home from a job well done? “Dang it!” she said “It’s almost sunrise! Hot rod I need you to deliver these eggs. 9572 N. Riley” she handed me the basket and then made another one magically appear. It was then that I finally appreciated what a quiet device the superboard was. I got done and went home. To my surprise my house was the house she was currently working on. I didn’t see her until she was on her way out. She even included a few flowers (I knew I forget something when I started decorating). I did not much obey the expectations of males to dislike such “girly” things as flowers and pink, back then. Heck, I would have even worn dresses, if allowed. They were pretty, after all. Nowadays… little has changed, really. I do not go as far as wearing dresses (I now have the added reasoning of practicality in mind), but overall, I really think the gender lines we draw in expectations are often unnecessarily restrictive and outright arbitrary. Unsurprisingly, the first place I went was bed.