Compelling writing, man. Be proud of, etc. etc.

Generally, you've got a well founded writing style; descriptive, brings your senses together for a vivid image and all that jazz. Characters well developed enough to form interest, not over done so as to be mind crushing. Your dictastiong of thoughts can be a bit sparse, more a checklist and without much justification or emotion, but only in places. In a similar tone, sometimes your porgression of storyline seems a little forced, unsteady bridging; but still only occasionally. One or two grammar or spelling errors, literally so. Your decription flicks from standard to some beautiful imagrey, no complaints.

Plot wise, I'm more skeptical. I'm sort of fond of realism, or at least concieveble fantasy, and your story seems a little more than willing to throw in the supernatural without any basis in, the irk being, a quite inimpressive way. Almost as if finding a glowing ring and mystic sword in an odd cave is a daily event, a little underwhelming.

Other than that, I still like it. Works a backstory into your character, does it well, and makes an interesing read. It's your own character, so I assume it's a lot easier to slip into acting as if a dramatic event in your past was accepted, because you already have, but maybe convey a little more of the thought, doubt maybe, or whatever, behind events.

Anyway, I've said my fill, and tried to keep it constructive. Keep it up!

I'm a big fan of plot twists, so some of the loose threads will be tied up in following chapters. There are some areas where I want to keep people guessing, it's what keeps them coming back for more.

I enjoyed how straight foreword all the text was. It was an interesting read even though the archetype has been used before but it's a classic. All in all it sounds interesting and worth continuing, and well the end was just funnier than hell. Trust me if i was in that situation i would probably check too, you never know how a magical transformation can screw with a dude.

Interesting...The main character gets pissed off very easy. i agree with some of what Brachiaraidos said, and except for some minor spelling errors, and mistaken use of hilt instead of scabbard or sheath, it is very professionally done. but i disagree with hating the cold, I'd be happy to find some snow. I live in michigan, and i prefer the cold. just have to be careful not to fall asleep. i found most of his reactions to things funny as hell, though. I'd like to see where the storyline goes.

Actually when I said hilt, I was referring to the handle. The sword doesn't have a scabbard.

really? it did'nt seem like that when i read it. my mistake then. could you critique some of my stories? It would really help me out.