At this point I'm just trying to keep myself occupied before I fly back for the funeral...

For anyone that doesn't know yet, I may not be the most active here for a bit.. I was informed yesterday morning that my grandma on my mom's side passed away back in St. Louis.. I've been crying here and there, but I realize that it just hasn't quite hit me yet. I will be flying into St. Louis Tuesday night for the wake, and flying back to AZ Thursday night after the funeral, but I won't hit AZ till about Friday morning. Even as I write this, I can feel the knot in my throat, and the tears in my eyes, but I get the feeling I won't really fully break until I'm back in Missouri.
She was always there growing up. Ever since I was about 7 years old, we lived across the street from my grandparents. They took me and my sister and our cousins on trips all over the US during Summer breaks in their Airstream. They even came to visit me during one of their trips through AZ after I moved. It's hard to think about.. that after everything.. she's gone.. I wasn't prepared... but I guess none of us really are for Death. I miss you already, Grandma.. I love you.