A short story I wrote during my Short Story Saturday stream I did alongside  RockyTheProcy's Free Sketch Friday stream (3/5/16). This story was won by  Poffy, and in it we learn that even a big goof like King Asgore Dreemurr can get lonely sometimes. Although, he probably didn't really expect to find the possible cure to his loneliness at a speed dating seminar.


.:Rated general for:.
>Light Petting


Undertale and all related materials are © Toby Fox.


Word Count: 1897

If you enjoyed the story, feel free to comment and fave, I'd really appreciate it.

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Speed Date King

Oh what in god’s name was he doing? Speed dating? Why did he agree to it? Oooohhhh, Undyne made it sound like it would be good, but he didn’t know anyone here. The only women here were humans. And there was always the, well, “unpleasantness” between the two races. But he was a king, so maybe that would count for something? Well, he didn’t exactly put “King Asgore Dreemurr” on his name tag, just “Asgore”. Didn’t help that he was taller than most of the women here as well. And that’s not a generalization of men and women, he was literally taller than every human there easily. With a worried sigh, Asgore yanked at the neck of his bright pink shirt. It felt like it was choking the life out of him. “BEGIN!”

Shambling to a seat, Asgore was seated before a rather, err, “eccentric” looking woman with a clean shaven head, and more piercings than should be legally allowed. “Hey, I’m Candice, and you are?” she sneered.

“Err, howdy! I’m Ki- umm, Asgore Dreemurr” Asgore replied nervously.

“Aren’t you like, the king of the monsters?” Candice inquired.

“Err, well, yes, I am. Although there’s not much of a kingdom now that we’re all free, so I’m more of a figurehead” Asgore explained delicately.

“Huh, that’s cool” Candice nodded.

And that was that, for the next few minutes the two said absolutely nothing to each other. “SWAP!”

Glad to be away from the rather terrifying looking woman, the next person he was to talk too was a middle-aged woman called Sharon. “Err, howdy, I’m Asgore” Asgore greeted pleasantly.

“You’re a monster” Sharon remarked.

And that was that, end of the conversation. Asgore sat in stunned silence until time was called, and the rotation occurred. Honestly, two was too small a number to give up on, but something told Asgore than a relationship with a human most likely wouldn’t work. But, well, he had to give it one last shot. Staring up, Asgore was surprised to be staring across the table at a rather pudgy polar bear. Now, while Asgore had put on a few since his new role as the laidback king, this bear was in a league of his own. The black polo shirt he wore bearly barely fit, as the base rode up his pudgy middle, showing off his lower belly and navel. His shorts themselves were only just the right size, but to the observant you would see his fleshy middle squeezed by the waistband and spilling over it. “Hey there!” the polar greeted, his tone gushing with friendliness.

“H-howdy” Asgore blushed, realizing he had been staring a little too hard at his new friend.

“I’m Ezekial, but my friends call me Ez. And you don’t need to introduce yourself, as every monster knows the great Asgore Dreemurr” Ez grinned like a goof.

“O-oh, you’re a monster too? I don’t remember ever seeing polar bear monsters” Asgore admitted nervously.

“Oh, well that’s because we polars spent a lot of time in the wilderness, so we rarely if ever came to Snowdin or New Home” Ez explained, his body slacking a little.

“Oh my, I’m quite ashamed I didn’t even know about your group” Asgore apologized, before raising a brow. If he didn’t know any better, he could have sworn there was a hand on his leg. The smile on Ezekiel’s face practically confirmed that theory. “Umm, is that your, err…?”

“Maybe” Ezekial grinned, before looking at the timer. “Say, you wanna go somewhere else? I don’t think speed-dating is for monsters” he suggested.

Asgore nodded weakly, his cheeks rosy red. So, the two monsters quit the speed date, much to the apparent pleasure of the humans there. Now outside, they transplanted themselves to a nearby park, right by a rather gorgeous flower display. “You certainly know your seating, King Asgore” Ezekiel smiled, his hand delicately caressing a tulip.

“I’ve always loved flowers, they were the center of my world after…” the goat king began, before cutting himself off. Even now, it was always painful to really talk about the past, especially the harder moments of his life. He bit his lip nervously, and twisted his head away from the polar.

“I get it Asgore, we monsters all know what happened, even the polars. I am sorry to hear about the loss of your children, if it helps” Ezekiel offered with a comforting hand to his King’s shoulder.

Asgore smiled wearily. “Thank you Ezekiel. If I’m to be honest, no one actually said anything of that like after it happened. Maybe they were too nervous to say anything with Tori around, but… it comforts me to hear someone say it” he appreciatively thanked his new friend.

“Well, I’m glad I was the first one to say it” Ezekiel remarked with a goofy smile as he butt-hopped closer to Asgore. “So, why were you at the speed date, just out of curiosity?”

“Ah, well, I’ve been a bit… “unhappy” with no one really in my life. While I see Toriel every day, I know we have no hope of ever being together again. So, Undyne and Doctor Alphys convinced me to try and find a date, to take my mind off of things. As you can see, it didn’t quite work out, due to the strained relationship between monsters and humans. But that makes me question as to what you were doing there?” Asgore observed.

“Same reason, sorta. I’ve never really dated much, so my family signed me up for the speed-dating. “Human or monster, you need to find someone and settle down”” Ezekiel parroted like a caricature of a chiding mother.

“I see, then how fortuitous that we should meet up” Asgore chuckled pleasantly.

“Indeed” Ezekiel purred, his hand gently placed around Asgore’s shoulders.

“Err, umm, Ezekiel, what are you doing?” Asgore nervously quivered.

The polar smiled, which was well-characterized by his large cheeks. “Well, I just want to be a bit closer to ya Asgore. You look like someone who needs a hearty arm around them” Ezekiel explained.

“Oh, I-I see” Asgore blushed nervously. For a second there, he had been fairly certain that the polar bear was putting the moves on him. “Well then….”

The polar’s grin widened as Asgore placed his arm around Ezekiel, the two looking like the best of buds as they sat on the bench. The goat king chuckled affably, rather enjoying the feel of a friendly arm around him. It had been a while since anyone had even tried to be that intimate, after all, not even Frisk had- “Oh my!”

So lost in thought was he that he hadn’t even noticed that Ezekiel’s paw had snuck under his shirt, and was gently rubbing his belly. “Wow!” Ezekiel uttered with excitement, “your belly really is as soft as they say!” he gleefully exclaimed. “You really ARE King Fluffybuns.”

Well, that was quite a surprise, but, not an unwelcome one. The goat king shuddered with pleasure as the fur of his paunch was lightly played with, and it was followed up with a nice rub. The last person who had even done that was Tori- Ohhhh. Had it been that long? “What’s wrong? You went from laughing to serious in no time” Ezekiel remarked.

Asgore grunted uncomfortably as he removed his arm from Ezekiel’s shoulder, and the polar’s paw from under his shirt. Leaning forward, he sighed despondently as he leaned on his legs, his hands in his paws. “I’m sorry” he muttered softly.

“I-I’m sorry, was I too forward?” Ezekiel question hastily.

“No, no, I actually kind liked it. No, it’s me, I’m afraid. It sounds silly, but, well, I’m still a little obsessed with my first love” Asgore explained.

“You mean the queen?” Ezekiel assumed.

Asgore nodded wearily. “Yes. We spent such a long life together, I thought we were going to turn to dust together as well. I… I sometimes find that I couldn’t really live without her love. Maybe I’m just dependent on it… I never managed to recreate her pie” Asgore muttered, his tone dream-like and vision hazy.

“O-oh, well, umm, if, if you feel that way, maybe I should go?” Ezekiel sighed and got up.

“N-NO! Please, please don’t!” Asgore begged.

The polar paused, his brow raised at the fact that his own king had just begged him for something. “Okay?” he said and sat back down.

“I’m sorry” Asgore sighed miserably. “You were just trying to be nice, and I was too busy talking about my past. I must have made you feel so very awkward” he apologised.

“Well, the people know your history. You’re allowed to be a bit miserable about it” Ezekiel explained.

“I… I DON’T WANT TO BE MISERABLE!” Asgore hysterically shrieked, much to the surprise of those out on a night stroll. Breathing heavily, tears trickled down Asgore’s face. Sniffling loudly, he grabbed Ezekiel’s soft shoulders with his powerful hands.

“Umm… Asgore?” Ezekiel whimpered in a blind panic.

Without a word, the king planted his lips on Ezekiel’s, the two kissing with a mixture of surprise and passion. As much as the polar tried to rear back, Asgore’s mighty hands were already pressed to his cheeks and the two were locked in place. The polar’s eyes were wide as Asgore continued to cry as they kissed, despite the tongue currently probing the inside of his mouth. With the shook worn off, Ezekiel just shrugged and got into it, his paws clinging to Asgore’s shoulders as his tongue danced a rondo with the king’s. A few seconds of heaven was all that was needed for the two to detach, the floof king sniffling loudly as he wiped his nose and eyes. Ezekiel could only chuckle loudly, despite his fur being moistened by Asgore’s tears. “Wow, what was that about?” he chuckled, unable to really think of doing anything else.

“Sorry” Asgore chuckled weakly, another loud sniffle coming out of him. “I… wanted to be a little spontaneous. Sorry if I surprised you, I just… well, you are sorta cute” Asgore blushed. “I was never really fussed with genders, after all, there are Royal Guards One and Two that I may have.... Well, it’s irrelevant. What I really want to say, is that I like you.”

Ezekiel was taken aback, a blush on his own cheeks. “Oh, umm, well” he sputtered with surprise.

“Sorry if this was a bit of a surprise, but, well, talking to you was very relaxing and calming, despite the subject matter. It’s nice to have someone to talk to about my problems. So umm, if it’s alright with you, could I maybe get your number? So we could, well… see each other again?” Asgore requested, his phone already out.

“S-sure!” Ezekiel squeaked loudly.

After exchanging numbers, Asgore bid farewell to the polar, and he left with an extra spring in his step. And Ezekiel? He just stared at Asgore’s number on his phone, his face a blank slate of contemplation. Then, suddenly… he squeed loudly. “EEEEEEEE!”

He literally leapt off the bench while punching the air with glee. He couldn’t believe it, but he had a date with his idol, with king Asgore. Wait till he told his parents, they would NEVER believe him. With a spring in his step, the chubby polar ran off to tell his parents the good news.