Why why why why why do I even bother trying anymore. I don't fucking understand. I'm worthless. I don't deserve to live. She was right, she was right, I shouldn't have made that decision. I'm just scum on earth. I'm a piece of shit. Both of you would be happy to see me go after all of the pain I've caused you two.

I'm not ever going to get better. I won't I won't I won't no matter how much people tell me it gets better. I've been dealing with this for far too long and I just want it to end. I won't ever get anywhere in life. I'll be in my room, hiding away from everything because I'm a goddamn coward I CAN'T HANDLE THIS ANYMORE.