so earlier i was sleeping because all week ive been utterly tired and sick from this rainy and cold weather
and since im a light sleeper i overheard my dad talking in the hallway.

talking about me

Saying how worthless i am and stuff about me not doing anything and so on.
My depression is what makes me lose motivation for things so i end up not doing them.
But my parents all blame it on me being on the computer/being in my room and being lazy or "shy".
Literally no one in the house sees how much i am suffering because of my mental illnesses.
Only me.
Every time i try to talk to them about this issue they talk over me and saying im making things up or its from the computer.
i swear i could die and they'd still blame it on me for being on the computer all the time. or from me being "shy".
And then he goes on about how i don't help out with the house and don't have a job and don't help with money and stuff.
I'm sorry??? its not my fault we are poor as fuck?? with what money and with that working car am i going to work at????
my anxiety is so bad i hardly doubt i could even make it work without having a massive attack. not to mention with how my eyes are
i'd most likely get into a huge wreck or something dangerous.

just ugh
it made me so upset that i started crying and cried myself into a deep sleep.
i can't even be in the same room as them without wanting to burst into tears and having rage build up.

thanks for being the "nice" and "supportive" parents you claim to be

thanks for putting me deeper into my depression and making it 10x worse
it's bad enough that for weeks ive been having urges to self harm and other things.

hhhhhhhhh
i want to lay down and sleep again but i cant because mom playing her bass guitar and its really loud :'''/
my eyes still hurt and im still tired...