“This is –urp- not entirely my fault”
Sandy the elf scratched behind one of her pointed ears in frustration and tried to muddle the complicated string of expletives building in her head into something she could say without landing her on the naughty list.
“Not…your….fault” she finally stated slowly, her gaze drifting over to the scattered crumbs and fragments of sugar that were once her triumph of bakery and engineering. She let her gaze drift back to the heaving, furry grey bulk of the raccoon that now towered over her, his swollen chest eclipsing the bottom part of his face and his flabby arms wiggling feebly in a crude mockery of articulation. He let a rumbling belch loose from deep within his seemingly fathomless gut and smacked his lips in what Sandy could only guess was embarrassment, if a creature such as this was even capable of shame.
Sandy pondered how a gluttonous creature such as this could ever end up so high on Santa’s Nice List. Perhaps Frank and the portly Saint Nick were kindred spirits, but nevertheless, Sandy had been assigned to fulfilling Frank’s Christmas list, the first item on which was a gingerbread house.
That had probably been the point when things started to go downhill.
“I asked for a ginger bread house” Frank explained ploddingly “And nobody can say that you didn’t do a wonderful job. Really, absolutely phenomenal work. Top-notch”
“Look, if you think I went overboard-” Sandy began
“Well I wasn’t asking for a house that was big enough to live in!” Frank finally exclaimed. “You took that upon yourself. I didn’t think my request was all that unreasonable when I was asking for something that would fit on my coffee table.”
“And yet you still ate the entire thing” Sandy pointed out.
“Well, yes”
“In one sitting”
“Well YES” Frank replied apologetically. “What am I supposed to do with a gingerbread house?”
“Live in it?” Sandy sniped right back.
“Is that what you do in Gingerbread houses?” Frank inquired “Up at the North Pole?”
“Not for decades!” Sandy burst out. “We live in comfortable modern dwellings like normal people. That’s why I thought it was so bizarre in the first place!”
“This sounds like a simple case of miscommunication” Frank concluded.
Sandy let out a hefty sigh as she leaned against Frank’s furry bulk. With her pointed ear pressed against his bulbous side, she could hear the rumbling squelches of his overtaxed digestive system, churning away in the herculean task of converting what was once the walls, roof and interior dressings of Sandy’s magnificent gingerbread house into more and more fat.
She sighed. Technically they had both done their jobs. She couldn’t blame herself for being a bit more industrious than necessary. She was an elf for heaven’s sake.
“Well, you still have a few more items on your list.”
Frank let out another rumbling belch. In retrospect, he had eaten that house a little too quickly.
“You know what?” he finally grunted “Skip the Playstation. I’d settle for some milk”
My contribution to the big secret santa held by
Maddie. This lovely little work is for the eyes of
F_Raccoon. Tried to hit all the seasonal selling points and wish you all the best in the new year!
Sandy the elf scratched behind one of her pointed ears in frustration and tried to muddle the complicated string of expletives building in her head into something she could say without landing her on the naughty list.
“Not…your….fault” she finally stated slowly, her gaze drifting over to the scattered crumbs and fragments of sugar that were once her triumph of bakery and engineering. She let her gaze drift back to the heaving, furry grey bulk of the raccoon that now towered over her, his swollen chest eclipsing the bottom part of his face and his flabby arms wiggling feebly in a crude mockery of articulation. He let a rumbling belch loose from deep within his seemingly fathomless gut and smacked his lips in what Sandy could only guess was embarrassment, if a creature such as this was even capable of shame.
Sandy pondered how a gluttonous creature such as this could ever end up so high on Santa’s Nice List. Perhaps Frank and the portly Saint Nick were kindred spirits, but nevertheless, Sandy had been assigned to fulfilling Frank’s Christmas list, the first item on which was a gingerbread house.
That had probably been the point when things started to go downhill.
“I asked for a ginger bread house” Frank explained ploddingly “And nobody can say that you didn’t do a wonderful job. Really, absolutely phenomenal work. Top-notch”
“Look, if you think I went overboard-” Sandy began
“Well I wasn’t asking for a house that was big enough to live in!” Frank finally exclaimed. “You took that upon yourself. I didn’t think my request was all that unreasonable when I was asking for something that would fit on my coffee table.”
“And yet you still ate the entire thing” Sandy pointed out.
“Well, yes”
“In one sitting”
“Well YES” Frank replied apologetically. “What am I supposed to do with a gingerbread house?”
“Live in it?” Sandy sniped right back.
“Is that what you do in Gingerbread houses?” Frank inquired “Up at the North Pole?”
“Not for decades!” Sandy burst out. “We live in comfortable modern dwellings like normal people. That’s why I thought it was so bizarre in the first place!”
“This sounds like a simple case of miscommunication” Frank concluded.
Sandy let out a hefty sigh as she leaned against Frank’s furry bulk. With her pointed ear pressed against his bulbous side, she could hear the rumbling squelches of his overtaxed digestive system, churning away in the herculean task of converting what was once the walls, roof and interior dressings of Sandy’s magnificent gingerbread house into more and more fat.
She sighed. Technically they had both done their jobs. She couldn’t blame herself for being a bit more industrious than necessary. She was an elf for heaven’s sake.
“Well, you still have a few more items on your list.”
Frank let out another rumbling belch. In retrospect, he had eaten that house a little too quickly.
“You know what?” he finally grunted “Skip the Playstation. I’d settle for some milk”
My contribution to the big secret santa held by
Maddie. This lovely little work is for the eyes of
F_Raccoon. Tried to hit all the seasonal selling points and wish you all the best in the new year! Category Artwork (Digital) / Fat Furs
Species Raccoon
Size 1280 x 870px
File Size 121.6 kB
Hey, once I get the present, what I do with it is my business! I'll be enjoying it for awhile at any rate... *wobbles, urps* l3
Hee, thanks much for this! I definitely would eat something like that if that was what I got. =P Help last me through to spring as well, maybe even summer! Thanks again, and merry Christmas!
Hee, thanks much for this! I definitely would eat something like that if that was what I got. =P Help last me through to spring as well, maybe even summer! Thanks again, and merry Christmas!
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