Good grief this year has been ALL kinds of crazy. For both me as an artist and me as a person it's be a HELLUVA growing experience. I'm gonna do a little breakdown of the big stuff that happened(that I remember) each moth, both for me as a person and me as an artist so... this could get a little personal!
January
I really didn't do much drawing in January... oops. At least not finished work. I had just been kicked out of my mother's house and moved to Kentucky to live with my boyfriend I'd just gotten back together with(after he cheated on me with my friend no less- how stupid was I?). We were pretty happy, but hella busy, and I ended up spending a good deal of the month stranded in Ohio anyway after coming up here for Ohayocon. I wore lolita for the first time at the con- some stuff I borrowed from my friend Alex, and I think that's the true moment I became hooked.
I also started looking more into gender identity, and realising I probably didn't identify as female(I had been reluctant to explore before this for a lot of reasons, which I won't get into). I started referring to myself as an androgynous genderqueer, and started debating internally about my preference for male pronouns, and created my first male fursona.
February
February was another busy month, but I tried to get myself more focused on art. I started trying new techniques and experimenting more with how I did things on .GIMP- the program I used at the time.
I started asking some of my friends whom I knew were trans-friendly to start using male pronouns, though I still identified as nonbinary at the time.
March
In March I was fairly productive- I started working with the great folks at REGIME to make card art, and this started me pushing the limits of what I could draw- creatures like Crage are very different from the waiflike things I was used to drawing at the time!
I spent a lot of my time looking for a job, and remembering that the family I'd ended up with(my boyfriend's mother, brother, and grandmother) had no idea how to budget or save money, and therefore I needed to hoard and fend for myself, pretty much. :T
April
April was a busy month- I got a regular job that was called part-time, even though I worked full time hours(aaah, the things we do to make money even if companies don't want to give up full time benefits....). As I should have, but didn't quite expect, money started getting pulled from me left and right, because now that I had a job, everyone else took that as an 'ok' to be careless with their money, and use mine instead. And I was just enough of a pushover that I allowed it.
I started working with different and unique lighting sources in my artwork, though this was another month I didn't get many finished pieces out.
May
Boom, baby! Painttool .Sai came into my life, and everything changed like the Fire Nation had attacked! I had no idea what I was doing with the program, so a lot of things came out rather... odd, but the pen sensitivity was a godsend.
I started working towards being able to do commissions during this month.
I also officially started referring to myself as male, though I admittedly was still a little leery of using the term 'trans' for myself yet. I came out to my boyfriend... he didn't... take it AS badly as I expected, though l later realised he was just hella in denial.
June
June... y'know I really don't remember much that happened in June. I believe this is the month I started watching SPN... but that's about it! I just kept doing what I was doing! This month I learned the beauty of the 'overlay' layer setting.
July
I held a pretty sizeable raffle.... and learned that basically nobody cared. It was still pretty fun, though, and the prizes served to further bust me out of my comfort zone, and good grief did I make a LOT of adotpables.
August
I started getting a few commissions here and there, and went back up to Ohio again for Matsuricon. The con itself was... well pretty bland for me. I didn't even cosplay for 2/3 days, and I got more compliments on the out of cosplay outfit I wore than my actual costume... :T
I learned the glory of shade and luminosity layers when used properly haha.
I came out officially to my mother only to be told that because I still liked cosplaying female characters and wearing feminine clothing sometimes that I couldn't be a trans male- I had to wear only boys clothes. Which I owned none of and had no money to buy lmao. Thanks mom.
September
It's been 3 years now that I've been out of school and I still get confused and forget that by September it's back in full swing. I started getting really antsy and badgering my boyfriend about actually saving to move out on our own- we were supposed to have done it by spring, but between his family sapping our money and his own poor decision making skills it didn't really work.
I started trying to include backgrounds in my art more often, even if it was just something simple to do more than just a gradient.
October
Came BACK to Ohio! We were planning on coming back up in November, but it happened in October instead. Things were really looking up in the beginning of the month, but by the end... well I acutally had to break up with my boyfriend of 3 years(minus the two months in 2014 that I don't like to think about) because he just... kept. making. stupid. choices. And after three years of trying for the sake of love I was DONE. Unfortunately it left me without a computer, so for the last week or so of the month I was without art....
Before that though, I had been doing a pretty decent job of just cleaning up my technique and improving my style and skills. Plus... GLOWING ANIMATIONS. Yissss.
This was also the month that FMA took over my life again, thanks to the RP community on tumblr.
Mom kinda sorta started accepting my gender, which was cool, but the fact that she only did it because I scrounged up the cash to get some boy's clothes early on in the month was pretty shitty.
November
The month of Edward Elric. You think I'm kidding, but as soon as I had a laptop that could handle art and had finished the YCH from October, I was drawing nothing but Edward Elric pretty much, thanks to money being thrown at me by my lovely friend, Homie. Plans for me to move up to Canada with him became more official, too, and I started working much harder to save up for it.
I started playing with textures, and really getting into improving my anatomy and making sure every piece I put out looked fantastic, while also realising that no, it doesn't HAVE to be perfect- my lineart can be a little squiggly, nobody will notice once it's coloured, lmao.
December
Well the month's only half up, but I've gone through the last few steps I can do so far to prepare for moving. I've accepted the fated fact that I will almost always be the smallest and youngest of my friends, and I'm really looking forward to starting over. I already have nothing left basically, so with a new home in a new country in a new year, two great friends and a paying job waiting for me, I'm really hoping 2016 really will be my year.
Yikes this got REALLY long. For those of you who actually took the time to read it all? Holy crap five gold stars for you: ★★★★★
January
I really didn't do much drawing in January... oops. At least not finished work. I had just been kicked out of my mother's house and moved to Kentucky to live with my boyfriend I'd just gotten back together with(after he cheated on me with my friend no less- how stupid was I?). We were pretty happy, but hella busy, and I ended up spending a good deal of the month stranded in Ohio anyway after coming up here for Ohayocon. I wore lolita for the first time at the con- some stuff I borrowed from my friend Alex, and I think that's the true moment I became hooked.
I also started looking more into gender identity, and realising I probably didn't identify as female(I had been reluctant to explore before this for a lot of reasons, which I won't get into). I started referring to myself as an androgynous genderqueer, and started debating internally about my preference for male pronouns, and created my first male fursona.
February
February was another busy month, but I tried to get myself more focused on art. I started trying new techniques and experimenting more with how I did things on .GIMP- the program I used at the time.
I started asking some of my friends whom I knew were trans-friendly to start using male pronouns, though I still identified as nonbinary at the time.
March
In March I was fairly productive- I started working with the great folks at REGIME to make card art, and this started me pushing the limits of what I could draw- creatures like Crage are very different from the waiflike things I was used to drawing at the time!
I spent a lot of my time looking for a job, and remembering that the family I'd ended up with(my boyfriend's mother, brother, and grandmother) had no idea how to budget or save money, and therefore I needed to hoard and fend for myself, pretty much. :T
April
April was a busy month- I got a regular job that was called part-time, even though I worked full time hours(aaah, the things we do to make money even if companies don't want to give up full time benefits....). As I should have, but didn't quite expect, money started getting pulled from me left and right, because now that I had a job, everyone else took that as an 'ok' to be careless with their money, and use mine instead. And I was just enough of a pushover that I allowed it.
I started working with different and unique lighting sources in my artwork, though this was another month I didn't get many finished pieces out.
May
Boom, baby! Painttool .Sai came into my life, and everything changed like the Fire Nation had attacked! I had no idea what I was doing with the program, so a lot of things came out rather... odd, but the pen sensitivity was a godsend.
I started working towards being able to do commissions during this month.
I also officially started referring to myself as male, though I admittedly was still a little leery of using the term 'trans' for myself yet. I came out to my boyfriend... he didn't... take it AS badly as I expected, though l later realised he was just hella in denial.
June
June... y'know I really don't remember much that happened in June. I believe this is the month I started watching SPN... but that's about it! I just kept doing what I was doing! This month I learned the beauty of the 'overlay' layer setting.
July
I held a pretty sizeable raffle.... and learned that basically nobody cared. It was still pretty fun, though, and the prizes served to further bust me out of my comfort zone, and good grief did I make a LOT of adotpables.
August
I started getting a few commissions here and there, and went back up to Ohio again for Matsuricon. The con itself was... well pretty bland for me. I didn't even cosplay for 2/3 days, and I got more compliments on the out of cosplay outfit I wore than my actual costume... :T
I learned the glory of shade and luminosity layers when used properly haha.
I came out officially to my mother only to be told that because I still liked cosplaying female characters and wearing feminine clothing sometimes that I couldn't be a trans male- I had to wear only boys clothes. Which I owned none of and had no money to buy lmao. Thanks mom.
September
It's been 3 years now that I've been out of school and I still get confused and forget that by September it's back in full swing. I started getting really antsy and badgering my boyfriend about actually saving to move out on our own- we were supposed to have done it by spring, but between his family sapping our money and his own poor decision making skills it didn't really work.
I started trying to include backgrounds in my art more often, even if it was just something simple to do more than just a gradient.
October
Came BACK to Ohio! We were planning on coming back up in November, but it happened in October instead. Things were really looking up in the beginning of the month, but by the end... well I acutally had to break up with my boyfriend of 3 years(minus the two months in 2014 that I don't like to think about) because he just... kept. making. stupid. choices. And after three years of trying for the sake of love I was DONE. Unfortunately it left me without a computer, so for the last week or so of the month I was without art....
Before that though, I had been doing a pretty decent job of just cleaning up my technique and improving my style and skills. Plus... GLOWING ANIMATIONS. Yissss.
This was also the month that FMA took over my life again, thanks to the RP community on tumblr.
Mom kinda sorta started accepting my gender, which was cool, but the fact that she only did it because I scrounged up the cash to get some boy's clothes early on in the month was pretty shitty.
November
The month of Edward Elric. You think I'm kidding, but as soon as I had a laptop that could handle art and had finished the YCH from October, I was drawing nothing but Edward Elric pretty much, thanks to money being thrown at me by my lovely friend, Homie. Plans for me to move up to Canada with him became more official, too, and I started working much harder to save up for it.
I started playing with textures, and really getting into improving my anatomy and making sure every piece I put out looked fantastic, while also realising that no, it doesn't HAVE to be perfect- my lineart can be a little squiggly, nobody will notice once it's coloured, lmao.
December
Well the month's only half up, but I've gone through the last few steps I can do so far to prepare for moving. I've accepted the fated fact that I will almost always be the smallest and youngest of my friends, and I'm really looking forward to starting over. I already have nothing left basically, so with a new home in a new country in a new year, two great friends and a paying job waiting for me, I'm really hoping 2016 really will be my year.
Yikes this got REALLY long. For those of you who actually took the time to read it all? Holy crap five gold stars for you: ★★★★★
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