I did this some time ago and never uploaded it dues to it being really personal to me, but iv'e grown to really like this piece :) Do I talk about what this piece means to me?hmm, yea sure. might help people understand it a bit better, you do not have to read tho :)

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PERSONAL STORY:
-note written with no skill and is personal (has low mature themes).
-please refrain from rude comments, I just want to share the meaning/purpose of my picture.
-Yes this story may be boring or stupid but I felt like I needed to write about it.

I have always (like alot of people) wanted to find the love of my life, someone who would share the awesomeness of life with me. When I was in year(grade) 7 I found this adorable boy who I would always cause havoc with. Me being a noob of relationships got as far as spending lunch time with this boy constantly... but nothing more. I then later found out my closest friend was fighting to have him...not to long after we split...

year 8 rolls along and a great friend who stuck with me though all of the tough times decided to ask me out. I was really scared. not only was I worried that I would get dumped again, but I was scared of my mum knowing. My mum knew him and thought he was the sweetest boy ever... only she didn't know that he was also the creepy kinda boy she wouldn't want near her daughter. The year was going great until he was taunting me about the exact time he wanted to kiss me; me being anxious and all , millions of things were going through my mind... like "oh shizz what if i suck" ,"this will be my first time" and "maybe he will leave too". I kept postponing our smoochy times till i could build the confidence. Then we went on a school trip to a swimming pool with awesome slides. of coarse I spent the whole time going down an awesome dark slide with him. and surprisingly I felt more comfortable with him than I ever had, that was until he groped me on the way down the slide... I didn't know what to make of it(I was pretty innocent at that age), so I shook It of and just continued my time there but in the slide that wasn't dark.... after all this we drifted apart when he moved overseas, I was once again a single pringle.

year/grade nine and im a new person at a new school. And for some reason I make friends straight away and halfway through the first quarter of the year I once again find someone who I felt love for again...but like in the past there were complications. it was a school trip at a camp.was a timid person who didn't want to know how horny i made them!! nor did I want him to prepare his friends to watch me kiss him. once again I was scared and hid in my cabin... that didn't prepare me for later when his "friends" kept asking me if i kissed him yet. I had got my mind of it with a night time walk with my class but when everyone returned to dinner in the dining area I saw him on the porch of the building where he gestured me to come to him. I remember It being the starriest night I had experienced. I loved it... and hated it; he told me what we had wasn't working, and sadly I had to agree. after that we became best friends but to this day we argue over everything and we have drifted apart slowly.

After all these stupid relationships I decided I would be patient; I had learnt my lesson, the love of your life isn't gonna pop up just like that. But the more I ignored, the more I found people wanting me.. I hated it. I had someone who was my best friend for a while who randomly kissed me and told people he was going to have sex with me... my brother found out...it was horrible... after that I fund it hard to be friends with people if they were just expecting certain things from me... I didnt want to be that person who couldn't hold a relationship or friendship... actually the year after I stuck with very specific friends (ones that had been with me in year 9) only they wanted to go down a path I didn't (drugs, parties ect) in which they said I ditched them and was the worst friend ever... I had no close or good friends for a year... Luckily I met my bet friend  k9blue , who made me forget about all the shit I had gone through all those years... but sadly I looked back on it not too long ago and realized loving people so early in my life was the worst mistake ever, because now being alone feel worse... what makes me feel worse is knowing people like or have a crush on me and I cant like them back because they remind me too much of the people I dated long ago; how full on and flirty they were. when all I wanted was someone who could understand my fears.

Overall I must say I dug this hole for myself... I was so naive and stupid. But I guess now I know I cant let my self become that person again. SO what this image shows is the terrible envy, sadness and anger I feel towards love.