Such wise words ;w;

It is always my hope to help others through what I've come to learn from friendships, therapy, and life experiences. Kind of the whole "Take lemons to make lemonade" thing. :)


Thanks for your time in reading and commenting. :)

I still like Spike's cute humdrum outfit a lot. ;3
But this is right! We can't control other people - even if we try, they'll simply be who they are, for better or worse. We can only control ourselves. I relate to it a lot romantically, especially with relationships that really matter - I knew I could have done so much to keep things going, and I could always give my best, and be as patient as I needed to be - but if someone isn't going to do their half, there's no way you can make them. You have to figure out what's best for you, or both of you, if things don't go your way, in any situation really.
That's why it's all about attitude, and not taking things too personally. A lot of things seem too coincidental, and it's hard not to take them that way. Sometimes it's true and sometimes it's not, but it's best to clarify and find out if there's something wrong, or if the situation made things look worse than it is. (:

*Snugs* Thank you for taking the time to read over this take on "Victimstance". I've wanted to really do something to show what I've learned in therapy to help me not feel victimized by so many people. That feeling to me nowhere except frustrated, upset, and depressed. These are all negative feelings I don't want to have. Nope, nope, nope!


I'll never forget when my therapist stopped me in mid-sentence as I went on about how my former employer went out of their way to discriminate me. She said, "[i]Matt, if I may. It seems you are giving others power over you. They may 'say' you were this, or that. However, does it take away from what 'you know you achieved'?"


It hit me like a ton of bricks when I came to the realization that nobody can take away an accomplishment I know is an accomplishment. Nor can I fault people for believing a "One Size Fits All" with special needs since there aren't many of us with disabilities out there and those who are may not be in as strong a position as I am to push beyond being more than elated for whatever job I can get.


I'm much better now at catching myself before I get fussy over what someone says, or does, to me. I'm far from perfect, but I know I can only do what I can do. What truly helps me see past all that has been, or will be, is knowing how I can play my part to help future generations not have to experience the same traumas I have. And, even if they do, they'll handle them better due to all I've learned in conjunction from having supportive friends and great therapists. :)

I will be honest, that spike card would be useful as hell in my Chryssie deck, not asking for it, I'll get one myself, as always the first one I find is yours

I actually lucked into finding 3x of this card for under $7. It's amazing how affordably Spike's rares tend to be. The "Super Rares" are tricky, but you could easily find an entire play set for less than $5 now. :)

In my work, I plan to have a much later story with a character reminiscent of Starlight Glimmer. She has Asperger’s/Unicorn Syndrome, and she did not get any of the support that my Princess of Friendship got. Her main assistant is her boyfriend, who is more severely autistic. He cannot cast spells, but he is great at engineering them.

This story explores various communities that those with special limitations might embrace — and how a cult may win many people’s hearts without active brainwashing.

In the town of Egalitaria, people’s special abilities are celebrated insofar as everyone feels equal in power and prestige. According to the manifesto, administrators are given special privileges for the sole purpose of protecting the town from those with worse intentions. The Princess of Friendship fails to read this fine print of the manifesto, and she blows her cover prematurely.

In Egalitaria, people with extraordinary abilities have these abilities restricted. People with special limitations have their abilities augmented, in various ways to serve the needs of the group. Most of the smiles seem genuine rather than forced. People who felt handicapped before make the bulk of the group — but there are also some who are tired of having a high pedestal.

Moreover, most of the villagers have so much emotion invested that they would probably resist obvious evidence that their leaders are up to no good. Some may even be willing parties to a conspiracy, if the conspiracy came to their attention. This depiction of a cult is, perhaps, truer to life.

The Princess of Friendship may find herself just as guilty of mental manipulation as she tries to deprogram the villagers. She may have to accept that many of them genuinely want the sense of validation they get from the place. Perhaps the cult leader started with malicious intentions but then developed real feelings for many of her followers (perhaps more than she knew or initially wanted).

For many of the villagers, the Princess of Friendship must offer a similar but better intentioned group. She must outdo the cult leader for giving others the sense of validation they want — without compromising her love for her fellow creatures. On the contrary, she must respect that there are many possible respectable communities.

Very well written. It's certainly a wonderful outline for a series of chapters, or an entire short story. :)

I do love how you come up with your material. There's not much I can think on adding to it as, truly, it's solid work that really can be seen as it's own wonderful entity.

By the way, in later developments, I feel that Spike has become a full member of the team. He might have started as something of a pet -- but now I regard him as one of the strongest characters of the series. I regard him as a big little brother. (I just wish he, too, could be connected to the Tree of Harmony.) Spike's most courageous moment must have been standing up for Thorax.

Now that Starlight Glimmer is reformed, I can't help but love her -- yet I can't help but be a little afraid of her. Most of the time, she is gentle and kind -- given that she has alicorn-like powers. On the occasions she loses her temper -- or tries to manipulate someone -- it may bring back bad memories. (Perhaps part of the bond I feel with her is a survival mechanism to help her remain a good unicorn.)

My Little Pony has a number of characters who might scare me away (including Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Lord Ember) -- if it were not clear that they really do need friends. Many times, handling an abusive relationship may not be as simple as walking away. After all, how many parents would walk away from their children just because the children are mistreating them? I have to take care of myself -- yet I must accept that friendship missions can be risky, and too much risk aversion will ultimately make for a world of fear rather than love.

Of course, some abusers really are malicious and cleverly manipulative. Conversely, some are aware that they have behavioral problems, or they may be ignorant about how to properly handle their feelings. Before asking someone to walk away from an abusive relationship, I would encourage them to get the support they need to help hold the other person accountable. Many times, the lack of accountability may be the problem more than anything else.

---

On another note, I have this vision for a "What-If" comic -- keeping with the victimstance theme:

Suppose, at the Canterlot Wedding, after making unwelcome accusations about Cadance, Twilight decided to get revenge on her friends for turning against her. When she smashes up the wedding hall, the fake Cadance reacts with deadly force toward Twilight -- Chrysalis forgetting to restrain her violent temper. Shining Armor is shocked to see "Cadance" acting with such violence, and his love for her evaporates. This is a two-edged sword, since this also weakens the shield he's been keeping up around the castle.

The fake Cadance tries to force Shining Armor into loving her again. Shining Armor and Celestia end up blasting her with their powers. This momentarily distracts Shining Armor from being able to maintain the shield around the castle. Without Shining Armor's love to feed off of, Chrysalis is knocked out -- and her cover is blown. Shining Armor begs for his sister's forgiveness, but his sister would rather bear a grudge. Secretly, Twilight starts working to herd the changelings -- to make herself their new queen.

Shining Armor tries to use his sense of love to home in on Cadance. Now that he realizes his true love has been kidnapped, his shield around the castle regains strength. Celestia has Luna drag the unconscious Chrysalis into Tartarus. (Luna is momentarily enraged at being woken up, but Celestia explains this is an emergency.) Meanwhile, Celestia tries to help the remainder of the Mane 6 retrieve the Elements of Harmony. To their shock, Twilight has stolen them.

Twilight does a remarkably good job herding many of the changelings, since many of them do not seem to have minds of their own. However, she does have competition in the form of Pharynx, one of the smartest, most esteemed changelings. Pharynx keeps his little brother Thorax by his side, even though Thorax is weeping in fear and has no desire for violence. Ultimately Twilight and Pharynx decide it's better for the moment that they work together (though each looks for opportunistic chances to turn against the other).

Twilight's former girlfriends, together with Celestia, try to home in on the Elements, but it seems like a wild goose chase. Shining Armor also feels he's stuck in a wild goose chase. The two parties come back together to rethink their strategy.

Everyone regrets that they denied Twilight the benefit of the doubt when she voiced her problems with Cadance. Conversely, if she would prefer to bear a grudge, then was she really a friend in the first place? How badly they wish she would repent and reconcile! Together, the seven start to cry into one another's manes. At this point, Shining Armor embraces the remaining Mane 6 as his new little sisters.

Suddenly, Shining Armor feels a new sense of strength -- along with Twilight's old girlfriends. The love between him and them makes him feel that he can finally locate Cadance. In connecting with the five girlfriends, it's as if he is finally triangulating the location of his favorite mare. Back together with Cadance, she and Shining Armor can use the power of their love to blast away the changelings -- except for those under Twilight's influence.

Twilight tries to use her connection to the Elements of Harmony as a weapon against her old friends. She pretends to reconcile with them -- only so she can trick them into activating their Elements along with her. From there, she plans to use the Element of Magic as her vehicle to redirect the magic and blast her old friends. But the Elements won't activate.

Shining Armor snatches the Element of Magic. To his surprise -- when the star crown is mounted on his head, it activates! The Elements of Harmony have torn away Twilight's pedestal -- and given it to her brother. With both the Elements and the power of his and Cadance's love, Twilight is blasted into the stars -- and the remaining changelings are blasted away. There's a new constellation to remind of this fateful day.

From here on, Cadance, Shining Armor, and the five marefriends form a Mane 7. Cadance is not comfortable leaving Shining Armor alone with the other girls for extended periods; nor does Shining Armor like being away from her. Whenever Shining Armor looks to the stars, he mourns the loss of his sister, much as Celestia once mourned over Luna. Celestia and Luna, because of their ability to relate, really start to feel like the aunts he never had.

In a much later story, Twilight gets redeemed -- but she cannot regain the special position she has lost. She must accept her new job as Spike's assistant, as Spike learns to be the governor of the Crystal Empire (second in power only to Cadance and Shining Armor).

Shining Armor ultimately becomes an alicorn prince (apparently the first of his kind) by completing Starswirl's greatest spell. In talking to the Tree of Harmony, trying to befriend the Tree, it finally occurs to him that Starswirl's spell must be missing the power of friendship. He may be a little less intelligent than average -- but the power of his love allows him to have his moments of genius alongside his best friends.

---

(When Twilight made her accusations about Cadance, I observed she was acting horribly undiplomatic -- failing to speak in a manner that demonstrates clear respect for the other people's feelings. It seems that someone failed to teach her this basic element of diplomacy. If she had been careful to be diplomatic, maybe she would have received the benefit of the doubt; who knows?

If she had acted diplomatic, only for her feelings to be trampled just the same -- then her old friends could not expect just to apologize and move on. Forgiveness is easy; regaining trust is hard.)

How very true. Foregiveness can come quite easily. We are taught to foregive. However it is not the same as being able to truly set aside feelings of lost trust.

More simply put, once the damage is done what once was will never be again. Something new will come but it will be based on the degree of effort and trust all parties have post the traumatic event.

---

That is an interesting alternative ending for "A Canterlot wedding". I like Spike being Governor Of The Crystal Empire. I think he'd do great as a Royal Counsel as, I believe, Cadence and Shining would listen to him more than twilight does.

---

Even in the most recent episode, Twilight still has no real way of not making everything 'personal'. She needs to know she isn't the end-all be-all when it comes to Equestria. She has to stop believing everything rests upon her and, in turn, show her friends how they aren't always going to be the heroes.

At this point, I can't see twilight successfully taking over rule of Canterlot / Equestria. She needs some hardcore therapy to know how to 'delegate' and 'trust others'.

I understand that Shining Armor and Cadance have had to be rescued too many times. I wish they could be connected with the Tree of Harmony, too (as I’m sure you do). In the meantime, I wonder if they could be valuable moral support for Twilight in gaining the confidence she needs to depend more on others.

In MLP, feel Twilight’s big-sister and big-brother relationships are grossly neglected (as I’m sure you do, too). Most of the time, it seems only Spike has been around to function as a bit of a big brother — a big little brother, so to speak.

In the meantime, I think the Student Six are giving the Mane 6 a run for their money when it comes to learning friendship.

In my work, my own big brother tries to carry too much weight on himself as the Captain of the Royal Intelligence. In some ways he may feel more like Twilight than my own Princess of Friendship does — having OCD but not ASD. His wife and his sister (Princess of Love & Harmony and Princess of Friendship) eventually force him to share the position with him. He wanted too much to be second in power to the rulers — to keep feeling like the big brother — and because he started feeling the need to watch over everything and everyone. He cannot earn his spot as a ruler until he is comfortable being a little one (when he properly harnesses the power of friendship, he becomes an alicorn, and he receives his title as a co-ruler, just like his little sister).

My Princess of Friendship is probably more self-confident than Twilight. Twilight doesn’t wear her crown much, but my Princess of Friendship is to wear her crown like all the other rulers — except when she is going incognito. (A recurring gag may be that few recognize her without her crown.) She probably does more than Twilight to force people to respect her — and may have to be reminded to give people enough freedom of conscience to develop properly as friends (as her brother tended to do with her).

My Princess of Friendship may sometimes fail to ask her seniors for help when they give her an assignment — perhaps out of self-consciousness or perhaps for being too proud to ask. However, it will probably be easier for my Princess to overcome this barrier than for Twilight — especially with my Princess’s big brother and big sister-in-law wanting to be by her side. Her little dragon boy also develops into a wonderful, heartwarming diplomat — acting as her big little brother.

An ultimate teacher for depending on others turns out to be the son of my own Princess of the Sun (Prince Endearment). Endearment is one of the most heartwarming diplomats; some of his emotional intelligence comes out in his horn rather than from his words. For centuries, he’s never been shy about asking people for help — regardless of age, sex, or background. Unfortunately, he’s often overestimated the maturity of those who seem highly mature.

In the end, Endearment tends to feel as much control as he needs because he trusts in his power to connect with others. His mother is especially dear to him, and he embraces the Princess of Friendship’s big brother as his own big little brother. Endearment may not really mind seeing himself as a little one, as long as the others are helping him to grow.

P.S. The big brother of my Princess of Friendship is usually great at hiding his true feelings, when he feels the need to. He may seem cool and collected on the outside, even if he’s melting down on the inside. Oftentimes, he hides his deepest feelings from his own wife. Many times, the only one he shares his deepest feelings with is his star apprentice — the young stallion who mentors his little sister while he’s away.

When his wife catches on, she does some things to make him open up, including some delicate operations with her special powers. It brings her to tears that he would ever want to work without her. He was trying too hard to be self-sufficient, and he became too cynical as he discovered a shocking culture of corruption lower down. He forgot part of the power and intelligence of friendship.

I just watched the 13th episode of Season 9. I have no idea where Twilight got the idea that a princess is supposed to do everything herself. I used to think being a princess was about having everyone do everything for you.

Now I realize the hiring process takes special care. Master this skill and the system becomes mostly self-sustaining. Fail this skill and the system may quickly fall apart. This is completely different from being lazy. It’s the definition of working smart — working no harder than needed and no less than needed.

I used to think the Mane 6 felt a desperate need for more help saving the world. Now it feels as though some of them love everyone regarding them as the saviors. I keep thinking of Shining Armor and his family — and how desperately they need something more to protect them and the Crystal Empire. I feel rather disillusioned.

I also feel a little disillusioned with Celestia and Luna. I don’t know what it is about them that seems to bring out the worst in each other. I keep thinking that maybe Celestia carelessly trampled on Luna’s feelings over 1000 years ago. Of course, this would not make Luna’s treachery any less treacherous; it would be to say that maybe Celestia wasn’t quite so shining an example of loyalty herself.

I feel almost as though Celestia has been dumbed down a little over the seasons. Of maybe we’re just getting to know more of her dirty laundry. Conversely, I don’t think the Mane 6 have been dumbed down. I think they have just failed to mature as we should reasonably expect. Meanwhile, the Student Six have been catching up fast.

If I could meet Celestia in the middle of a fight with Luna, I would stand back and wait some minutes for the dust to settle. Then I think I would try to say (as I bow to her), “Your Majesty, I see you’re feeling really hurt. Part of me wants to cry, when I see you in such pain.” From there, I would try to listen to her. At some point, I might say, “I wish I could see things more from Your Majesty’s perspective. I would love to play pretend, and try being your little brother. I want to be a valuable servant for you, and I believe it would be a wonderful lesson in friendship and diplomacy.” From there, I would hope to quietly model how a sibling would show healthy compromise.

I really wish MLP would teach more about diplomacy — rather than having characters who should know better repeatedly failing basic communication. Sometimes MLP feels about the most intelligent cartoon I’ve seen for children. Other times, it feels no more intelligent than any ’80s cartoon.