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Poetry / Fantasy
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Sup everyone! =P
~NEW~ poetry goodness here. =3
This here poem was made on a whim. I worked on it ALL day for a good, poetic furiend of mine,
kogie.
He's awfully nice, and you guys should check out his page as well! =D
Also, for clarity:
STANZA 6, LINE 3 -> "finest coal" refers to graphite (it's shiny) o.o
Note:
1.) The last line of each (colored) stanza represents a form of the color itself. (you'll understand once you read it) =3
2.) Kogie's name is spelled out vertically in the 2 serenade couplets + the line after them. =P
Enjoy guys, especially YOU Kogie! =3
*hugs Kogie to death then revives him with wolfmur lurve* ^______^
~NEW~ poetry goodness here. =3
This here poem was made on a whim. I worked on it ALL day for a good, poetic furiend of mine,
kogie.He's awfully nice, and you guys should check out his page as well! =D
Also, for clarity:
STANZA 6, LINE 3 -> "finest coal" refers to graphite (it's shiny) o.o
Note:
1.) The last line of each (colored) stanza represents a form of the color itself. (you'll understand once you read it) =3
2.) Kogie's name is spelled out vertically in the 2 serenade couplets + the line after them. =P
Enjoy guys, especially YOU Kogie! =3
*hugs Kogie to death then revives him with wolfmur lurve* ^______^
Category Poetry / Fantasy
Species Wolf
Size 97 x 120px
File Size 26.5 kB
Your welcome!
Btw, forgot to mention: Your furry name is spelled out vertically in the 2 serenade-couplets + the line after it. =3
I just thought you should know, if you hadn't already noticed it. The reason I didn't enlarge and bold them was because it's not something I wanted to make obvious if I go about publishing this.
It seems I have a habit of spelling out a furiend's name in a poem dedicated to them. ^^
Btw, forgot to mention: Your furry name is spelled out vertically in the 2 serenade-couplets + the line after it. =3
I just thought you should know, if you hadn't already noticed it. The reason I didn't enlarge and bold them was because it's not something I wanted to make obvious if I go about publishing this.
It seems I have a habit of spelling out a furiend's name in a poem dedicated to them. ^^
Hurrah! That's an altogether charming, rhytmic, interestingly-rhymed, completely surprising piece of work to find on FA. I don't know if it has emotional depth or whatever, but who cares?
Winsome. Winsome is the word for this poem. Also specifically I liked "Wandering worry," and "prismatic might," a lot.
Here are the issues I have:
"Even you should find that fair," is a relatively weak line.
"Utopias are always neat," alienates me a bit.
At "Let not the journey wear thin/Eternity lasts for beasts and men." the meter stumbles, or seems to.
Most importantly, nobody loves clever little puzzle and text gamey things more than me. But lately, I've become really obnoxiously trenchant about spoken langauge being the only correct medium of poetry. So while the acrostic is very clever, I just can't say it adds much for me.
Maybe that makes the poem even better-- I think it's a pretty successful little piece despite starting with a premise that I don't find very relevant.
I wondered if the last part was also an acrostic. Very clever, I gotta admit.
Winsome. Winsome is the word for this poem. Also specifically I liked "Wandering worry," and "prismatic might," a lot.
Here are the issues I have:
"Even you should find that fair," is a relatively weak line.
"Utopias are always neat," alienates me a bit.
At "Let not the journey wear thin/Eternity lasts for beasts and men." the meter stumbles, or seems to.
Most importantly, nobody loves clever little puzzle and text gamey things more than me. But lately, I've become really obnoxiously trenchant about spoken langauge being the only correct medium of poetry. So while the acrostic is very clever, I just can't say it adds much for me.
Maybe that makes the poem even better-- I think it's a pretty successful little piece despite starting with a premise that I don't find very relevant.
I wondered if the last part was also an acrostic. Very clever, I gotta admit.
Woot! x3
I'm overjoyed that you like this one.
To say a few things:
I completely agree with you that the line "Even you should find that fair" is weak. I was at a lost for words, mostly because I wanted the last word of the line to rhyme with "care." *sigh* Such are the downsides of a strict rhyme scheme! x3
"Utopias are always neat" is also somewhat of a weak line, mostly because it seems pretty darn random! Once again, rhyme scheme gave me a kick in the pants. I felt it was the BEST I could come up with that wasn't all TOO off subject, being that a (utopia) and a (rainbow) probably would go hand in hand.
As for the two lines with the iffy meter, yeah, I agree. I read those two lines over and over, and most definitely saw a slight break in meter. I didn't want to wreck my brain with it TOO much (because meter and I don't get along too well), so I went with something. (Dare I say again that the rhyme scheme didn't help me much!) lol
On an ending note, I really enjoy acrostics; it usually helps me decide upon my form. Plus I think it's just cool! x3
Well, look forward to more stuff from me. This wolfmur has a blank canvas in front of him just waiting to be splattered with colored verse! =P
I'm overjoyed that you like this one.
To say a few things:
I completely agree with you that the line "Even you should find that fair" is weak. I was at a lost for words, mostly because I wanted the last word of the line to rhyme with "care." *sigh* Such are the downsides of a strict rhyme scheme! x3
"Utopias are always neat" is also somewhat of a weak line, mostly because it seems pretty darn random! Once again, rhyme scheme gave me a kick in the pants. I felt it was the BEST I could come up with that wasn't all TOO off subject, being that a (utopia) and a (rainbow) probably would go hand in hand.
As for the two lines with the iffy meter, yeah, I agree. I read those two lines over and over, and most definitely saw a slight break in meter. I didn't want to wreck my brain with it TOO much (because meter and I don't get along too well), so I went with something. (Dare I say again that the rhyme scheme didn't help me much!) lol
On an ending note, I really enjoy acrostics; it usually helps me decide upon my form. Plus I think it's just cool! x3
Well, look forward to more stuff from me. This wolfmur has a blank canvas in front of him just waiting to be splattered with colored verse! =P
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