(quick break from commissions to post some vent art. i've had a lot to do lately; my sister just got married! so i'll get back on my queue asap, dont worry guys!)
from Anthony Green's "She Loves Me So"
vent;;; i have such a problem with jealousy and shit. i feel just sick even having any reason to think i could be cheated on, and i've been emotionally manipulated by enough guy "friends" to be worried all the time with the "just friends" type relationships. i just get super anxious when i see those relationships that are like "we've been together 15 years and just found out she was cheating the whole time"; its insane how people can insist they love you and then do that to you. it tears me apart to see "happy"relationships die because one of them couldn't keep their hands in their pockets. and the cheater can pretend everything's chill for years. it scares me knowing something like that could happen to anyone. i can't even stand when people joke about cheating, it actually makes me anxious to see or hear. like i said, it's other people i don't trust, not my significant other. i've had close "friends" who acted like they cared lie a friend would and just turned around and expressed their feelings, hoping i would reciprocate. it's a nightmare situation to me, thinking i could be subjected to it and not know for years. i know jealousy is ugly, but how do you even begin to change something that deeply ingrained in yourself
usually i just overthink everything and end up super depressed and paranoid, pushing myself to see ghosts that aren't there
vent over
pffff
~des