wow...

Yeah, it was pretty stressful. School and not being able to create what I wanted made it less fun. I didn't want to end up making my love and my passion become something I hated.

i can understand that

Wow, I'm hitting that roadblock myself. I want to create by the seat of my pants, but real life has me going all directions.

It's a hard roadblock to hit, for sure. The hardest part, though (and I'll get to this in a later page) is truly sitting yourself down and asking what does R-Complex want? It's a hard question to answer truthfully when you think you already know the answer. I think the one thing I wish I had during the roadblock was support from others who may have been going through something similar. It's so much nicer to surround yourself with a few like-minded people to just have someone who understands.

Have you ever contemplated turning "creating" into something that's a more major part of your life?

Yes. I'm actually working on trying to make my art into a job and finding I'm my own worst enemy. You think it's going to be the people around you telling you can't do it, but it's the person in the mirror that's doing the talking down. I've been on this struggle for nearly a decade or more. I actually am considering going to school for a different type of artistry, special effects makeup to be exact. But I'm stuck on a spiral of how do I get there. XD

I completely understand. School would be a great chance not only to pick up new skills, but to surround yourself with creative people. Plus it sort of forces you to get up and create. I'm in school now and it's been way more helpful than me just sitting in my living room by myself, trying to get motivated.

As far a being your own worst enemy, look up "inner critique." there's a bunch of stuff you can learn about that online. The thing I learned in school about the inner critique is actually NOT how to shut him up. He's a part of you, and that's okay. I had to learn to talk to him as if he were standing right in front of me and was a close friend of mine. Don't yell at him or call him names because that will start a spiral ("what's wrong with me?" "Why can't I do this?" etc.). Instead tell him "look, we're okay," or, "Maybe we should sit down and talk about this later." And actually physically talk to him. It sounds weird but it surprisingly works. If you can get yourself to talk out loud to your critique, you already started down the path to calming yourself down, and think logically.

I'm sorry if this got way philosophical lol. These were things that have helped for me and I think can help you, too. ^_^

Hehe sounds like a plan! I struggle with that most all the time XDDD. I have gotten away from meditation as well, which helped as I have OCD as well. Definitely need to look into that because I'm fighting with myself constantly XD.

One step at a time ^_^ Just be completely honest with yourself. You owe it to yourself.

Mostly give yourself a break ^_^ You're awesome, and no one knows that better than you. Don't forget that. Everything you do is important to making you, you, even if it feels like it sucks sometimes. If you ever want to vent, I have nothing but ears (or eyes for reading) Feel free to note me, too. I hoped I helped in any way. Just be as awesome as you are.

Really? Awesome ^^ Definitely will do. It's been a trying week XD. You too, be awesome :D

will do

You too ^^ if you ever need an ear (or two or three XD) I'll be more than glad to listen :D