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Now I present last year's group poem - a gift for each of those I hold dear. Told through the view of Sharp, she and Mikhail invite a number of characters around to share their Christmas with them. It's the first poem I've made in several months, so I'm not sure about how its quality stands up, but here's hoping you'll enjoy this piece. You all mean so much to me. <3
Green belongs to
Black~Dog.
Kose belongs to
darklord92.
Victoria belongs to
darkman5.
Ebony belongs to
EbonyMalice.
Billie-Goat-Fluff belongs to
Voraciousopolis.
Vin belongs to
EternalZer0.
Cleo belongs to
GargoyleMutagen.
Ky-Yoshi belongs to
Ky-Guy.
Leaf belongs to
Leaf Mithras.
Wink belongs to
ModifiedMatthew.
Dixie belongs to
PlagueBug.
James belongs to
ReokuKurosai.
Dynion belongs to
Floof.
Mikey belongs to
Zeara.
Green belongs to
Black~Dog.Kose belongs to
darklord92.Victoria belongs to
darkman5.Ebony belongs to
EbonyMalice.Billie-Goat-Fluff belongs to
Voraciousopolis.Vin belongs to
EternalZer0.Cleo belongs to
GargoyleMutagen.Ky-Yoshi belongs to
Ky-Guy.Leaf belongs to
Leaf Mithras.Wink belongs to
ModifiedMatthew.Dixie belongs to
PlagueBug.James belongs to
ReokuKurosai.Dynion belongs to
Floof.Mikey belongs to
Zeara.
Category Poetry / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 120 x 120px
File Size 57.4 kB
Listed in Folders
A very nice poem.
One piece of advice though, contemporary poetry has mostly stopped doing capitalization outside of where punctuation would demand it, no need to capitalize the start of every line!
One thing that confuses this piece a little is that the majority of your lines in some stanzas seem specifically to fit into a set bunch of syllables (usually 12 or 13), but then other stanzas are as varied as 15 or 11 for specific couplets.
The same syllables gives you a very christmas-y rhyme scheme of being very sing-song, but then the non-fitting lines make it seem more free form. You might consider breaking this up (it is also pretty long, sad to reach the end of a page on PDF midway through a stanza) into longer lines with in-bedded rhymes about characters, or making it more of a traditional ballad with a set syllable length.
One piece of advice though, contemporary poetry has mostly stopped doing capitalization outside of where punctuation would demand it, no need to capitalize the start of every line!
One thing that confuses this piece a little is that the majority of your lines in some stanzas seem specifically to fit into a set bunch of syllables (usually 12 or 13), but then other stanzas are as varied as 15 or 11 for specific couplets.
The same syllables gives you a very christmas-y rhyme scheme of being very sing-song, but then the non-fitting lines make it seem more free form. You might consider breaking this up (it is also pretty long, sad to reach the end of a page on PDF midway through a stanza) into longer lines with in-bedded rhymes about characters, or making it more of a traditional ballad with a set syllable length.
I won't try to deny it - this poem was rushed to completion due to wanting to get it finished in time for Christmas. ^^; This doesn't excuse the unequal structure, though; I went through this poem again, and I see exactly what you mean here. Haven't decided what I'll do for this Christmas, but if it involves another poem like this, then I won't forget what you've told me. :3
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