The light I shine on you is what you gave to me"

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I realize that I have always been a depressive person. for the last 6 years, it's been fading in and out, sometimes quick and some times slow. That is because I hold on to everything I do wrong. I remember everything I do wrong, all the people I left idiotically, and everyone I hurt. I always thing the only thing I can do is hurt people, they will be better without me, it is better this way, I'm a just a perverted monster, I don't deserve to be happy. they will only hate me in the end... As time goes on, it gets worse and worse as I make more mistakes.

however I'm a clingy person, and I look for people to cling to, even if it makes me dependent. over the years I found a nice amount of friends that allowed me to cling to them and accept me. what happens then is it really all just melts away. I feel normal and feel like an actually person more, I smile more and forget about my mistakes and I enjoy life again. I'm alot less depressed and even for one person, that depression didn't come back for months. All in all... I need someone to cling to.Eventually they leave though, hating me, finding better things to do, or they just... stop talking to me...and I go back feeling these thing... and even more. the 5 people people I clinged to... you only ever made me happy, you stopped me from being like this. you only done good things for me.

I don't have anyone to cling to now, and for months now, I really haven't been happy. I want someone to accept me but I seem to not be able to let anyone close to me. This is what I really want. it is ALL I want...

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you know, I kinda wanted to be more constructive venting, so I sorta commission a artist a quick sketch

Art by  strawberryanna
Hated is mine
girl is just a girl the artist drew, she isn't suppose to be anything specific