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I think I figured out that this year's been so emotional because I crushed on 4 people, and that makes a total of 5 so far.
I don't think I'm super obsessive or needy, I just always want to be with them at a level that is probably not very possible.
I don't think I can even enjoy having a little crush on anyone anymore. Carrying the burden of all my feelings doesn't seem like anything to be happy about - especially if they don't feel the same way.
And I think the sad part of it, is that even if the person actually does fit me well, I think my feelings would ruin it. That's why I had Oxnard's idol, Hamtaro, featured here with him.
I don't think I'm super obsessive or needy, I just always want to be with them at a level that is probably not very possible.
I don't think I can even enjoy having a little crush on anyone anymore. Carrying the burden of all my feelings doesn't seem like anything to be happy about - especially if they don't feel the same way.
And I think the sad part of it, is that even if the person actually does fit me well, I think my feelings would ruin it. That's why I had Oxnard's idol, Hamtaro, featured here with him.
Category Artwork (Digital) / Comics
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I can sorta relate to that kind of deal. Ever since I broke up with my first girlfriend, I've found myself... extra needy. I can easily describe it as being 'addicted to affection', since my lovelife fell apart after four years of being with a perfect-for-me girl. And then when trying to date somebody new, I'd be trying to grab for the affection that's only possible from a four-year relationship.
It's as bad as asking a middle-schooler to do college algebra.
...of course, you can skip some steps in building a relationship by finding anybody stalking you, then date -them-, since they'd already be obsessed with you =D
It's as bad as asking a middle-schooler to do college algebra.
...of course, you can skip some steps in building a relationship by finding anybody stalking you, then date -them-, since they'd already be obsessed with you =D
Reminds me of the Family guy episode where Peter and his wife are no longer married for some reason, and there's a long time where he does nothing before he slowly starts dating again. :3 ...Well in his case he got her back, but for the rest of us in the real world, it's just something we have to wait and get used to. :D
Oh, you mean me! :D
Oh, you mean me! :D
Eh. In my case, I tried to jump right into trying to find somebody else because I didn't realize just how sucky being single was until I was in a relationship.
(Un)Fortunately, I've gotten use to being single again... but mostly because I've failed so hardcore at relationships XD;;
(Un)Fortunately, I've gotten use to being single again... but mostly because I've failed so hardcore at relationships XD;;
Wow, Ox. You've sure been through a lot this year. Relationships are an emotional roller-coaster and, from what you describe, it sounds like you've been on the same ride quite a number of times.
At first blush, one may wonder why an extra minute would mean all that much of a difference and be such a big deal. However, in the context, it makes a lot of sense. Personally, each time I get screwed over by someone, I get more "suspicious" of situations and circumstances that I normally wouldn't be suspicious of. Sadly, the only reason I became this way is due to a bad experience that was in the past. Though, as we know, the past has a nasty way of staying with us. Especially if a series of unfortunate events should ensue post that initial, negative moment to make one more suspicious of other things that, awhile back, they wouldn't have thought twice about.
Back on the roller-coaster reference, though, I'm glad you don't stop trying to board the ride. Despite going in worried about the ups-and-downs of past rides re-occuring that make you sick, you still have faith that one of those trips on the ride will be a smooth one and result in you loving the experience. An aspect like this speaks highly of your character.
So, to quote the film Galaxy Quest. "Never give up! Never surrender!"
At first blush, one may wonder why an extra minute would mean all that much of a difference and be such a big deal. However, in the context, it makes a lot of sense. Personally, each time I get screwed over by someone, I get more "suspicious" of situations and circumstances that I normally wouldn't be suspicious of. Sadly, the only reason I became this way is due to a bad experience that was in the past. Though, as we know, the past has a nasty way of staying with us. Especially if a series of unfortunate events should ensue post that initial, negative moment to make one more suspicious of other things that, awhile back, they wouldn't have thought twice about.
Back on the roller-coaster reference, though, I'm glad you don't stop trying to board the ride. Despite going in worried about the ups-and-downs of past rides re-occuring that make you sick, you still have faith that one of those trips on the ride will be a smooth one and result in you loving the experience. An aspect like this speaks highly of your character.
So, to quote the film Galaxy Quest. "Never give up! Never surrender!"
Yes. ;_; Once in a while is okay, but I haven't cried over anyone in a relationship until this year - and then it kept happening constantly almost ever since. 8D
Hehe, it's easy for our mind to wonder when things don't go right - suspicious seems normal even if it can be a little paranoid. :3 I don't think I get very suspicious at times like that, I just want the moment to hurry up and be over. 8D But I think it'd be easier to expect something bad to happen in those cases if you've had it happen before. :B
I don't think I can help being all schmubby-wubby aboout someone... but deciding to pursue it, or keep interest them, is sure like the roller coaster part ya mentioned. Love isn't a bad thing like people say it is... love is great! :3 I think people blame love a lot of times, when what's really to blame is your relationship with the other person - or it's something you did, or the other person did, or some feelings that you can't control that make you think the whole system is wrong... but I think it's just the parts, so I'll keep working to fix em. :3
Hehe, it's easy for our mind to wonder when things don't go right - suspicious seems normal even if it can be a little paranoid. :3 I don't think I get very suspicious at times like that, I just want the moment to hurry up and be over. 8D But I think it'd be easier to expect something bad to happen in those cases if you've had it happen before. :B
I don't think I can help being all schmubby-wubby aboout someone... but deciding to pursue it, or keep interest them, is sure like the roller coaster part ya mentioned. Love isn't a bad thing like people say it is... love is great! :3 I think people blame love a lot of times, when what's really to blame is your relationship with the other person - or it's something you did, or the other person did, or some feelings that you can't control that make you think the whole system is wrong... but I think it's just the parts, so I'll keep working to fix em. :3
Love is indeed a tricky beast. As far Schmubby-Wubby, I am extreme when it comes to that topic. This is why I'm glad my wife doesn't mind me being that way around her all the time. I'm just a total, cutesy-cuddly guy who, by all standards, completely quashes the "Male" stereotype. I think it's that reason I never had any luck in the dating scene. Actually, you've had more relationships this year than I've had in my whole life. *blush* *cush-cush* *cush-cush*
This brings up a fun point, too. Have you ever felt that your demeanor, mind-set, or interests set you apart from all those around you who seem to be having successful relationships? I blamed myself LOTS for the preceeding being why I failed at the topic. I never had anything "manly" to show off to the ladies. I couldn't do sports nor was I, or am, very built. I also, due to my vision, can't drive so I had no car to take a girl out on a date without having her do it, or *gasp* be taken via a parent or fellow friend. Throw in my naturally, non-good looks and you get a statement that I heard back in my Junior year of High School that rings with me to this day. I can share with you the whole thing, but it was pretty much two girls standing between my good friend and I as they pointed out why he was attractive and how I was not.
On a positive side, though, love's strange ways have a way of bringing people together who least know the other one is looking. I thought I was a lost cause until I met up with my wife at my sister's college. I'll never forget how I felt when I first saw her. Then, later on, I found out she liked my voice and how I was different. Since that fateful day, we have managed to build quite a relationship out of something that, honestly, neither of us truly understand how it works to this day. However, we both agree we couldn't go on without one another.
With that said, I hope you take heart in knowing that, despite how annoying it is, there truly is someone out there for you who will perfectly compliment you and your schmubby-wubbiness. It may take awhile to find that special someone, but, trust me, you'll both know it when you do. ;)
In the meantime, if I could make a suggestion, do not repeat a HUGE mistake I made amidst my early college years. This was trying to be someone I was not just to impress those around me. That mask made me into a very angry person until I finally realized that, although I may not be popular or a catch for the ladies, I at least am happy for me and what I can do. Don't ever let anybody tell you what you can or should do. Just believe in yourself and you'll go miles beyond what you ever thought possible.
This brings up a fun point, too. Have you ever felt that your demeanor, mind-set, or interests set you apart from all those around you who seem to be having successful relationships? I blamed myself LOTS for the preceeding being why I failed at the topic. I never had anything "manly" to show off to the ladies. I couldn't do sports nor was I, or am, very built. I also, due to my vision, can't drive so I had no car to take a girl out on a date without having her do it, or *gasp* be taken via a parent or fellow friend. Throw in my naturally, non-good looks and you get a statement that I heard back in my Junior year of High School that rings with me to this day. I can share with you the whole thing, but it was pretty much two girls standing between my good friend and I as they pointed out why he was attractive and how I was not.
On a positive side, though, love's strange ways have a way of bringing people together who least know the other one is looking. I thought I was a lost cause until I met up with my wife at my sister's college. I'll never forget how I felt when I first saw her. Then, later on, I found out she liked my voice and how I was different. Since that fateful day, we have managed to build quite a relationship out of something that, honestly, neither of us truly understand how it works to this day. However, we both agree we couldn't go on without one another.
With that said, I hope you take heart in knowing that, despite how annoying it is, there truly is someone out there for you who will perfectly compliment you and your schmubby-wubbiness. It may take awhile to find that special someone, but, trust me, you'll both know it when you do. ;)
In the meantime, if I could make a suggestion, do not repeat a HUGE mistake I made amidst my early college years. This was trying to be someone I was not just to impress those around me. That mask made me into a very angry person until I finally realized that, although I may not be popular or a catch for the ladies, I at least am happy for me and what I can do. Don't ever let anybody tell you what you can or should do. Just believe in yourself and you'll go miles beyond what you ever thought possible.
Everyone’s different in what they like and how they are, and I’m glad your wife is accepting of that side of you. :3 And I didn’t end up in a relationship with any of my big crushes this year – I almost did, but I haven’t officially dated anyone in four years. 8D
Hehe, actually, most people around me don’t seem to have successful relationships. :B I think maybe one friend-couple of mine had (maybe still have) a great one. I actually got along with them both great and got close to both of them before and after they dated each other… but all the same – I’m really unlike my offline friends, so I can relate in feeling very set apart from them and their relationships. :B
I’m sorry you had something harsh and memorable like that happen to you, and that ya might not have had all the opportunities or ability you may have liked to have to date around, but I think you still ended up successfully! :3 Not everyone at age ??? is married with someone they still feel like they can be themselves around. I’m glad that somehow, even if it’s not easy to explain, you were brought together and ended up to where ya are now. :D
And I’ll make sure not to do anything like that. :3 I think I’m comfortable with myself, and even if my friends’ll still pick at me now and then for whatever, I don’t think I’ll let it bothering me into being something I’m not. At least I hope not, so I’ll try to keep it in mind. (:
Hehe, actually, most people around me don’t seem to have successful relationships. :B I think maybe one friend-couple of mine had (maybe still have) a great one. I actually got along with them both great and got close to both of them before and after they dated each other… but all the same – I’m really unlike my offline friends, so I can relate in feeling very set apart from them and their relationships. :B
I’m sorry you had something harsh and memorable like that happen to you, and that ya might not have had all the opportunities or ability you may have liked to have to date around, but I think you still ended up successfully! :3 Not everyone at age ??? is married with someone they still feel like they can be themselves around. I’m glad that somehow, even if it’s not easy to explain, you were brought together and ended up to where ya are now. :D
And I’ll make sure not to do anything like that. :3 I think I’m comfortable with myself, and even if my friends’ll still pick at me now and then for whatever, I don’t think I’ll let it bothering me into being something I’m not. At least I hope not, so I’ll try to keep it in mind. (:
<LoL!> Dear, Ham-Ham you made me laugh when you noted my "???" age marker. You know why I put that there? Not to hide my REAL age, but because I couldn't fit the answer I wanted to put into it. My wife tells me I act like I'm "8 to 12" and, therefore, I wanted to use that out of a sense of humor. However, they wouldn't let me do it. *sigh* So, I figured I'd leave it a mystery as, quite honestly, my chronological age doesn't fit me in the least.
Drum roll please..... I'm 28! Yeah, I don't believe it either. Cursed biology!
I, too, have very little in common with my offline friends. As I mentioned before, they are hardcore introverts who are very group oriented. Within the dynamic, the situation changes depending on what people are present within the group. If you've ever played "MAGIC: The Gathering," I can simplify my RL friends as being like the Slivers. One alone can be fun to get along with, but each one that comes into play changes and effects the original one until, quite frankly, they all become impossible to deal with.
On that note, I will admit certain groupings of them can be fun. However, once one WRONG person enters into the room, things go downhill fast. Have you ever felt that way at all around your friends? Like one is really cool to be around until another one enters and, mysteriously, changes their attitude and openness to talk with you?
Another interesting question, if I could ask this too, *cush-cush* Would you say the friend-couple you know is/was open about how they feel? My friend married my sister after MANY years and, during that time, you could NEVER imply any relationship between the two. Doing so was heresay despite how blazing obvious it had been for all those years. It was like they were ashamed to admit to everyone they felt special toward one another. Then again, my sister was one of the primary leaders in influencing all those around us that talking about sex, alcohol, or anything of that nature was a capital sin.
Drum roll please..... I'm 28! Yeah, I don't believe it either. Cursed biology!
I, too, have very little in common with my offline friends. As I mentioned before, they are hardcore introverts who are very group oriented. Within the dynamic, the situation changes depending on what people are present within the group. If you've ever played "MAGIC: The Gathering," I can simplify my RL friends as being like the Slivers. One alone can be fun to get along with, but each one that comes into play changes and effects the original one until, quite frankly, they all become impossible to deal with.
On that note, I will admit certain groupings of them can be fun. However, once one WRONG person enters into the room, things go downhill fast. Have you ever felt that way at all around your friends? Like one is really cool to be around until another one enters and, mysteriously, changes their attitude and openness to talk with you?
Another interesting question, if I could ask this too, *cush-cush* Would you say the friend-couple you know is/was open about how they feel? My friend married my sister after MANY years and, during that time, you could NEVER imply any relationship between the two. Doing so was heresay despite how blazing obvious it had been for all those years. It was like they were ashamed to admit to everyone they felt special toward one another. Then again, my sister was one of the primary leaders in influencing all those around us that talking about sex, alcohol, or anything of that nature was a capital sin.
Hehe, it’s okay. :3 I’m not sure if most people at that age feel exactly that young or old – I still feel like I’m a teenager myself. 8D Maybe we just go through life like that, where our age just makes us think we’re supposed to be a certain way, when really, we’re all still just as much our own person as we were the year before. Maybe more of us will get to realizing that, so other people realize it, and then we might not feel as bad about seeming older or younger than we really feel. :D
MAGIC is that card game, right? :3 I haven’t played it myself, but I think seeing as how card games are supposed to work – and relating that to the group mentality people can take on, I think I understand what ya mean. :B
Haha, I know JUST how that feels. 8D My younger sister and I for the most part have always been close, good friends. I’d pretty much say we’re best friends! But a lot of times, more often when she was younger, when we would hang out with any of her friends, she would become a lot more critical of me. Maybe she just didn’t want me to become better friends with her pals than she was. At least after a while, you might find out a reason for it, even if they won’t change. D:
Yeah, I’d think my friends were open about their relationship. (: I think the girl hesitated a bit, because she met him when he was on a date with a friend of ours (we did it in a group,) and he ended up taking a liking to her a lot more than the girl he was supposed to. So there was a bit of a clash at first, but after a couple of months I think it all cooled off and they didn’t have to hide anything.
Does that mean your sister eloped with your friend, if they were married but didn’t want anyone to know or mention it? Or maybe I misread it and they were close but not married… Or maybe they married but wouldn’t let you bring it up? I don’t think I would last very long around someone like that. :B
MAGIC is that card game, right? :3 I haven’t played it myself, but I think seeing as how card games are supposed to work – and relating that to the group mentality people can take on, I think I understand what ya mean. :B
Haha, I know JUST how that feels. 8D My younger sister and I for the most part have always been close, good friends. I’d pretty much say we’re best friends! But a lot of times, more often when she was younger, when we would hang out with any of her friends, she would become a lot more critical of me. Maybe she just didn’t want me to become better friends with her pals than she was. At least after a while, you might find out a reason for it, even if they won’t change. D:
Yeah, I’d think my friends were open about their relationship. (: I think the girl hesitated a bit, because she met him when he was on a date with a friend of ours (we did it in a group,) and he ended up taking a liking to her a lot more than the girl he was supposed to. So there was a bit of a clash at first, but after a couple of months I think it all cooled off and they didn’t have to hide anything.
Does that mean your sister eloped with your friend, if they were married but didn’t want anyone to know or mention it? Or maybe I misread it and they were close but not married… Or maybe they married but wouldn’t let you bring it up? I don’t think I would last very long around someone like that. :B
Such interesting possibilities for what my sister and my friend / her husband could've done. Honestly, as I read about the "eloping" I honestly was surprised they didn't do that. Especially for all the guff they gave me for being supportive of their "forbidden" relationship that was only "forbidden" to them. <LoL!>
What really happened with them is that they met back in Jr. High. They were always around each other and influencing one another in some way, shape, or form. Over time, they started to talk on a nearly nightly basis and, eventually, went to college together. Here, they'd spend most of their time together working in my sister's dorm room. There were very seldom times he wasn't with her. Though, during those times, I must say he was a lot more fun to be around. :)
Based on the above, it became no secret to everyone that "something" had to be going on between the two. However, if ever you mentioned it allowed, they'd both get very huffy about it. I mean, they'd get TOTALLY bent out of shape. Then, back in 2005, I got called out to the living room of my house to find out *gasp* he proposed to her! OH MY GOD! NEVER SAW THAT COMING!
After that moment, they went on to explain to me that, "Not everyone is like you in being open about such things." They then told me some BS about introverts and how them being introverts played a large part in all everything preceeding and blah, blah, blah. Needless to say, it was obvious and I still don't, to this day, understand why anyone would ever want to hide something as special as a meaningful relationship from either their friends or, especially, their family. I mean, it's not like we are living in the days of "Braveheart" where Edward the Longshanks would've defiled my sister if it was known my friend was going to marry her. Kazootles!
Then again, I could be just being a big idiot about all this, too. Though, personally, I am a very strong believer in people being proud of who they are and what they do. I honestly feel we shouldn't be ashamed of ourselves or our feelings in the pressence of those we are closest to. It's wrong and, frankly, gives the friendship a shallowness that makes it less than a friendship and more of a casual acquantance.
*cush-cush* Did that make any sense? *cush-cush* I get all Hamgoofy when I try to be philosophical. :) *cush-cush*
What really happened with them is that they met back in Jr. High. They were always around each other and influencing one another in some way, shape, or form. Over time, they started to talk on a nearly nightly basis and, eventually, went to college together. Here, they'd spend most of their time together working in my sister's dorm room. There were very seldom times he wasn't with her. Though, during those times, I must say he was a lot more fun to be around. :)
Based on the above, it became no secret to everyone that "something" had to be going on between the two. However, if ever you mentioned it allowed, they'd both get very huffy about it. I mean, they'd get TOTALLY bent out of shape. Then, back in 2005, I got called out to the living room of my house to find out *gasp* he proposed to her! OH MY GOD! NEVER SAW THAT COMING!
After that moment, they went on to explain to me that, "Not everyone is like you in being open about such things." They then told me some BS about introverts and how them being introverts played a large part in all everything preceeding and blah, blah, blah. Needless to say, it was obvious and I still don't, to this day, understand why anyone would ever want to hide something as special as a meaningful relationship from either their friends or, especially, their family. I mean, it's not like we are living in the days of "Braveheart" where Edward the Longshanks would've defiled my sister if it was known my friend was going to marry her. Kazootles!
Then again, I could be just being a big idiot about all this, too. Though, personally, I am a very strong believer in people being proud of who they are and what they do. I honestly feel we shouldn't be ashamed of ourselves or our feelings in the pressence of those we are closest to. It's wrong and, frankly, gives the friendship a shallowness that makes it less than a friendship and more of a casual acquantance.
*cush-cush* Did that make any sense? *cush-cush* I get all Hamgoofy when I try to be philosophical. :) *cush-cush*
Haha, wow! 8D It reminds me of Daphne and Freddy from Scooby Doo. (I think I relate a lot of things to cartoons too often… sorry if it gets bothersome. :D) They always pair up in groups together, but no one ever mentions anything going on between them. …But come on! Everyone knows there has to be something – they just won’t say it. Actually, I think in one of the cartoon movies Velma asked why he’d always pair himself up with her, and they just got all shy and blushy and wouldn’t give a serious answer… It was cute in it’s own way – but like you said, it can kinda shallow things out when your friends won’t be honest or open about themselves with you. It might even be like that more when it’s something painfully obvious! :B I’m glad at some point they mentioned it to you though.
Hehe, don’t worry, made sense to me. (:
Hehe, don’t worry, made sense to me. (:
<LoL!> I never thought of it like that before! I can't wait to tell my wife that reference for my sister and her husband. I'm sure she'll get a kick out of it, too. <LoL!>
BTW, I also relate things to cartoons a lot. Sadly, most of the things I refer to are obscure to the common public. My wife is trying to train me to stop doing this. For simplicity, she refers to these as "Mattisms" when she serves as my translator to the poor soul who doesn't quite get my reference. *shrug* I imagine you must have moments like this as well. Though, if your like me in them, I still do them anyway. Nobody EVER forgets what I say simply because of how different it is. Or, at least that's how it seems...
BTW, I also relate things to cartoons a lot. Sadly, most of the things I refer to are obscure to the common public. My wife is trying to train me to stop doing this. For simplicity, she refers to these as "Mattisms" when she serves as my translator to the poor soul who doesn't quite get my reference. *shrug* I imagine you must have moments like this as well. Though, if your like me in them, I still do them anyway. Nobody EVER forgets what I say simply because of how different it is. Or, at least that's how it seems...
Hehe, blindisms, Mattisms... I wonder what other isms there are left. :B
We all have odd little quirks like that though! I think a lot of the things I say are satiric, or almost sarcastic - and I think someone in my creative writing class called those Nickasms. I was really happy about that, since a lot of times I think it just throws people off or something, like it's supposed to, but someone noticed it enough to give it a name. 8D
At least what we say gets that much notice if nothing else. ;P
We all have odd little quirks like that though! I think a lot of the things I say are satiric, or almost sarcastic - and I think someone in my creative writing class called those Nickasms. I was really happy about that, since a lot of times I think it just throws people off or something, like it's supposed to, but someone noticed it enough to give it a name. 8D
At least what we say gets that much notice if nothing else. ;P
Truly that is the mark of a worthy artist as well. If you can do something so off-the-wall and so original that people use you, or something about you, to refer to it, then you've done your job! Personally, I take pride when people say I "corrupt" things for them. Sure they think of me when they insert a song lyric or think of something they shouldn't when they see something, but the point is "I DID IT!" Not too many people are capable of generating lasting power like that.
So, based on what I said, take pride in yourself as an artist. If you can get someone to use you as a description, you definately deserve the right to be a part of the craft! Huzzah!
So, based on what I said, take pride in yourself as an artist. If you can get someone to use you as a description, you definately deserve the right to be a part of the craft! Huzzah!
I can get like that too, usually when I'm first being someone its like "let's do EVERYTHING together! 8D"
...it can get annoying, especially when you get lonely even if they are just taking a shower or something trivial.
Damn you co-dependency, let me be happy on my own sometimes, damnit! >.<;
...it can get annoying, especially when you get lonely even if they are just taking a shower or something trivial.
Damn you co-dependency, let me be happy on my own sometimes, damnit! >.<;
I don't think there's anything wrong with that either. :D
As much as when I really do get the hots for someone, I usually really wanna be there - but when I just like someone, or when I think if I would like a certain person, I'd definitely still want my space from them, so I can be myself and do what I love without the relationship having to change my life. Even when I dated girls before and they always wanted to hang out or go places I'd feel just like you. 8D
And you don't need to have to put out to have a good relationship. :3 At least I don't think so.
As much as when I really do get the hots for someone, I usually really wanna be there - but when I just like someone, or when I think if I would like a certain person, I'd definitely still want my space from them, so I can be myself and do what I love without the relationship having to change my life. Even when I dated girls before and they always wanted to hang out or go places I'd feel just like you. 8D
And you don't need to have to put out to have a good relationship. :3 At least I don't think so.
o.o *pats your back*
^^ hmmm...
Makes me wonder if Oxnard would say something like this:
"Y...you turned your head away from me for a second... you don't loooooove me anymore!!!" D:
o.o I feel like that sometimes, or like this:
"You love that picture of me more than meeeee!!!"
^^ hmmm...
Makes me wonder if Oxnard would say something like this:
"Y...you turned your head away from me for a second... you don't loooooove me anymore!!!" D:
o.o I feel like that sometimes, or like this:
"You love that picture of me more than meeeee!!!"
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