I am a gorilla that needs to eat so that's why i am offering you guys a once in a life time chance of being rko'd out of nowhere by WWE champion Randy Orton.
In the future when Orton becomes president this will be worth millions and let me tell you nothing makes a woman come like a waterfall than hearing your story about how you survived an rko and drank Hennessy off of Jerry the king, assuming he's still alive and won't die of a heart attack during a threeway.
All you need is to give me a whole meat pizza; that includes meatballs, sausage, pepperoni, and bacon specifically in that order!
Hell if you throw in stuffed crust pizza i'll up the ante and have you get rko'd right in front of your family, learn the pleasure of having Randy's meaty hands grasp onto your dumb fur head with CM Punk in the back blowing his trumpet to the tune of "The Time Is Now" while John Cena is blowing his trumpet inside your mom.
Royal Rumble starts next January which is exactly the amount of time you have on this deal, so if I were you, i'd start ringing up Dominos right now!