some vent art bc i can't go one single day without impulsively thinking how much i'd like to stop existing yay
god pls do not read i need to vent bad
idk i just feel like my body and mind are separate from each other and that sucks bc i literally feel like nothing at all (for lack of better term i feel the emotional equivalent of watching paint dry and like my body doesn't feel literally anything anymore)
like literally i am so tired of this recurring sadness and hopelessness and anxiety (attacks maybe? i don't know what they are). i feel like a freak in my own mind and i can't stop thinking about how much i can't fix myself and wondering how much longer i can pull it off
:))))))))
~des