FA+
Shop
1822
Views
Views
26
Favorites
Favorites
Category
Story / All
Species Argonian
Size 50 x 50
File Size 71 kB
Report this content
More from chameleonice
Listed in Folders
I've been working on this on and off for a bit now, but it's finally at a point where I think I can say I'm done with it and would like to share it with folks :)
This is a story about Teeka, one of my Argonian characters that I've been playing since TES:Oblivion. I'd always told myself a little story about him whenever I played the fellow, about how he escaped slavery and was always in danger of being tickled by various beasts and bandits... so I decided to finally write one of them down ;) I hope you all enjoy reading it!
For those who don't know anything about The Elder Scrolls or their races:
Imperial = Essentially humans
Khajiit = Anthropomorphic Cats
Argonian = Anthropomorphic Lizards
The Elder Scrolls are © Bethesda
Category Story / All
Species Argonian
Size 50 x 50px
File Size 71 kB
Listed in Folders
Well, if you don't mind some criticism...
Overall, it was a well done story. Having the variation of acts being performed on the Argonian, along with the various tools helps to not drag the story on. At the same time, keeping spare details on how the tickling happens during the party scenes and subsequent tickle sessions helps to keep any readers from feeling fatigue in seeing the same sort of torture over and over again. Other elements such as adding the blindfold also greatly helps display the helplessness Teeka is feeling during those segments. Another big boon was getting the backstory over done quickly, but also making it interesting. You didn't go into much length on his whole life story and why he ended where he did, and that's good in this sort of tale mainly because it doesn't matter in the long run.
I do have but one negative I managed to find, and it's with a sentence such as this : "He’d only understood the logic in his father’s logic"
One thing that you have to look out for is constantly repeating the same word in the same sentence, which can lead to a sort of fatigue for readers. Thankfully I didn't spy a whole lot of that in this story, but just keep an eye out for that in the future.
Overall, it was a well done story. Having the variation of acts being performed on the Argonian, along with the various tools helps to not drag the story on. At the same time, keeping spare details on how the tickling happens during the party scenes and subsequent tickle sessions helps to keep any readers from feeling fatigue in seeing the same sort of torture over and over again. Other elements such as adding the blindfold also greatly helps display the helplessness Teeka is feeling during those segments. Another big boon was getting the backstory over done quickly, but also making it interesting. You didn't go into much length on his whole life story and why he ended where he did, and that's good in this sort of tale mainly because it doesn't matter in the long run.
I do have but one negative I managed to find, and it's with a sentence such as this : "He’d only understood the logic in his father’s logic"
One thing that you have to look out for is constantly repeating the same word in the same sentence, which can lead to a sort of fatigue for readers. Thankfully I didn't spy a whole lot of that in this story, but just keep an eye out for that in the future.
I don't really mind criticism at all :) Especially when it addresses mistakes I've made. Actually, the sentence you pointed out was a typo that I missed :P It's supposed to read 'He'd only understood the logic in his father's words...' I've gone back and fixed it now, and it should read correctly :) Though FA is being weird with not letting me upload a fixed file of the same type...
Thank you for the very kind words and the advice! I really appreciate that! I particularly enjoy your stories, so that means a lot that you thought it was well-done ;)
Thank you for the very kind words and the advice! I really appreciate that! I particularly enjoy your stories, so that means a lot that you thought it was well-done ;)
Comments