Inspired by this vid: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5k5e9RW8Og (CAUTION: explicit language; but catchy tune :giggle:)

There are times I wish I could rap so I could come up with a battle for these two ladies, but instead, YOLATT from DA came up with a rap battle for me!

Silvamord:

The queen is here, now bow to her presence!
Rapping against a minor character that didn't speak a sentence!
Your only power in your book was to give birth to a brat,
meanwhile I was in control of an entire hoarde of rats!
Your story's a sad sack,
your familys whack,
and the only thing you did was get laid on your back!
I sent out spies, and in battles actually fought!
While for a majority of your book, all you did was rot.
I held such great rule, there was only small defiance,
we already know what your comeback will be, just silence!

Bluefen:

Step back, dear. We know what you did.
Your most impressive feat was killing some weak kid.
And you're right, my main role was to give birth to my son,
maybe if you actually loved your hubby, you might've won.
When you actually battled, you failed to lead your horde!
When we attack we'll spill your rats' blood on your shores!
Sure I didn't talk, but I could've still been brilliant.
Because you never shut up, we all know you're an idiot.
Now run off home, before I put some effort in.
Your raps about as daft as your hubby wearing fake skin.

Urgan:

Don't make me go against you, you'll die by my will.
You're no more threatening than the tail end of the wolf that I killed!
Your army's pathetic, a threatening force it ain't.
Maybe your husband would see that if he wore less paint!
Sure me and Sil argued, but at least we knew each other.
Let me guess, little Veil still don't know his own real mother?
I'd advise your kind to stay away from Castle Floret,
or I'll cut you up with my hooks, make some failure filet.

Swartt:

You pride yourself on killing a wolf, an act nobeast saw.
You better quit babbling, fore you get the back of this six clawed paw!
I can take control of your army with just one glass of wine,
but then again, your kingdom's so small, why even waste my time?
I'm Sixclaw, I've made my name, I am the Pitiless One!
And unlike you, you sterile pup, I can give the mic up to my son.

Veil:

Urgan, you died in a tree, you've no room to gloat,
and wifey died at home, inside her own moat!
You're both the least clever foxes Jacques ever wrote,
I've seen more threatening rulers come from rats and stoats!
We won this rap battle, and you'd best leave it on that note.
Try to come back at us, we'll sixclaw slash your throats!

~~~

Good, huh? :D

But this is the first time I've drawn the Nagrus (well okay, once years and years ago I made a quick sketch on a tiny bit of paper, but that's it). I considered giving Silvamord a top, but then decided since there's nothing there, it'd be alright. After all, her only bit of clothing ever described was her skirt of tails anyway.

Redwall © Brian Jacques