Felt like being poetic and shit. So I brought up the inner turmoil. It's all I ever feel like doing.



It takes three

What is the man with 3 faces? Which face is the façade, and which one is real? In truth, there are no masks here. There is only masking of the other side’s that are all part of a singular entity. There are those who wear masks to conceal and hide what they are. There are those who have split personalities, who share a single vessel. And then, there are those who have a culmination of sides. They are not separate personalities, we are one. All 3 sides make up my being. All 3 blend and cross the boundaries of each part of myself. All 3 coexist in one mess of a life.

We have the side shown to the very people closest to me. We have the side of complete mystery and that of a slacker. The side my family is most accustomed to. This side is one that isolates away from those who wouldn’t understand the other 2 sides, and a side that is dominated by the hidden agenda and emotion of the other 2 faces. This is the side that is closest to reality and one that has completely shunned it away. What does one do when freedom and consequence are nonexistent? They take it for granted, and remain taking advantage of those who support him. They lay idly by in their happy place, while those around them watch in concern as someone appears to be wasting and witling away the life they have. Shunning the opportunity to progress at the game we call life. As life goes on, one must catch up to it, or fall into a rut of which leads to great shame. What does this face do when that rut is run by the other 2 faces which control the face of reality?

There is the face most known to the cyber world. The face which embraces the colourful universes it has spent countless hours admiring. The most pure childlike of all faces, and the one that holds dear the fictional wonder of what it see’s. This face is also the creator, the face that is trusted to come up with ideas. Perhaps this face is the true face in the old question of “Which face is real, the mask or the face under it?” It is however not the case. It’s a hidden face from the face of reality, but they are not separate faces. This is the face of dreams. The face of dreams lives in a fictional world, using it as an escape from what is a hard working world. The face of dreams has the exact support of the face of reality, which allows the face of dreams to get a lot more time than it should have. This face is one of joy, but hides behind the face of reality. Reality is what everyone see’s, but joy is not something everyone bears witness to. Some joy must be kept removed from reality, lest that reality shatter the joy.

A third and final face exists, one of which contains all of which is to be contained. It is the face only some people hide to an even greater length than what may be a double life. It is the face of ego. It is the face that contains all of the negativity whether it is used positively or not. It holds the deepest and darkest of all emotions, as well as the selfish ideal. It’s the side that feels entitled and continually scorn. It is the side that despises when things don’t go its way. It is a side that holds jealously, one that turns all the other side’s against those that might care for at least one face I have. It is the face of paranoia, and thrust into turmoil if things haven't gone it's way. It is an easily angered side, one which has very low tolerance of what displeases it. The face of ego is a side that holds onto opinion and individuality. This face while seemingly evil is what defines all of my personal thoughts and beliefs. It is of course because it is the face more about one’s self than any other. This face can bring good, such as insight or knowledge to the face of dreams. However being a face driven by ego, it can bring great ruin to those around it. It is the face the controls the drive of the other faces. When this face is in flux, every other face suffers. This face holds hidden dirty emotions that could cost every other face any respect the one being has.

I am driven by three faces. I have the face of reality that represents what those that live and breathe closest to me see, the face of dreams which is where things such as imagination and my creativity may flourish, and finally the face of ego, the face that holds my individuality and my darkest of emotions. Each face is not particularly a mask, but simply one side. Ego is what fuels inspiration and drive. Ego is also what brings ruin to those that are around me. Dreams are what keep me going, something to aspire too, but what also take me away from reality and facing it. Reality is what I live outside of a simple laptop, it is what will dictate what I am before I one day leave this world. It is the most neglected of all faces. 3 faces all living simultaneously together, all bringing something to my existence.

All 3 faces are completely out of flux. The face of reality has nothing it seeks to strive for, and lives in a overly privileged and safe environment. It seems to wait til the time it is forced to have to do something. The face of dreams is held back by ego, it feels shattered and does not wish to continue. Ego does not wish to work with dreams and so dreams doesn’t want to aspire or work. Ego feels self entitled and hasn’t felt satisfied in sometime. Ego feels scorned since it’s desire and ideals hasn’t been sustained. Ego has gone mad, and so dreams has been crushed. With dreams being crushed, reality has nothing to move forward for. All 3 faces collapsed, leaving an eternal standstill, which causes ruin to one’s self and sometimes those around him. Reality, Dreams, and Ego do not get along no more, and so the three faces are in perpetual argument and depression, til the day they settle down and reunite as one being. Me.