Looks good. might wanna mod the ending a bit. feels like another paragraph should start instead of the end of che chapter.

once i get the second chapter in you will see why it does that. It's supposed to make the reader want to read more. And I'm also changing viewpoints, and subjects. Even if I move the chapter break there has to be a break right there because of the viewpoint change.

I read most of it and, no offense, but it seemed like a serious situation that was taken a little too lightly.I'm talking about the part where the councle was discussing on weather or not to declair war onanother town.Could use a little revising thats all.Other than that I really liked the story's setting and initial plot.

actually that part was not in the original book that i wrote the first time. I tried to add it in and I didn't think i had gotten it quite right but as I said I needed some help writing this one. I'm not good at debate or writing speaches. So when it comes to writing a council session I don't really know what I'm doing. Maybe you should send me a pm on what needs revising. Kinda help me write it better.

Alright I'll read it all the way through and get back with ya tomorrow.

Going to start off here I'm still reading,

First I like it, it's a great story so far, I think a little more time might be taken explaining some things, like these talents, unless you have or plan to reveal more as we read. I'm at one spot

"Matt hated the council, mostly because it was all men and they all hated him. Except for the women." might be better stated "Matt hated the council, mostly because it was mostly men and only a few women they all hated him. Except for the women." this also implies all the men on the council hate him, but the women don't hate him except for Jacklyn you may want to make this part a bit less confusing, I had to think a bit to figure that out.

Ok and it gets to the part you already revised.

I did not find much wrong with it, I think you may take more time for describing things unless you plan on revealing them slowly. I like the story, you better post more of send me a copy of what you have, I'll keep giving you good feedback like this.