Gerbil Fursona but I need help.

Ok so Splicette is my fursona she is a Lerbil (Leopard cross Gerbil) and is a representation of myself but also of myself when I was younger and not sick.
but now because my illness has taken over my life I do feel less of my old self and in my mind lost what I consider my leopard characteristic.
I always strive to one day do the things I use to and more, but 4 years in a wheelchair is longer than I though to be in and I'm no where near walking it does get you down when you put so much work in just to be standing, and I cant live my dreams until I am walking.
this could just be all pent up feelings and have nothing to do with my fursona, but you could argue that your fursona I personal to you and when you have changed your sona does to.
I don't no weather to use both, have this gerbil sona to portray my current self/reality self and to have Splicette as my dream self.
or weather to just forget the hole thing or even change splicette to this now.
I really do feel split emotionally and seeing the 2 Fursona together.
so what do you think? should I take this to heart and think about changing my fursona? or what?
many thanks for reading