Still I always
Look up to the sky
Pray before the dawn
'Cause they fly away
One minute they arrive,
Next you know they're gone
They fly on
Fly on

---

they say you never really appreciate someone until they're gone, and a lot of the time it's really true.
i know i make one of these stupid sappy things every year, but this year mother's day happened to be upon the day you passed as well.
I know we never saw eye to eye. I know we fought a lot, and most of the time it ended up with me upset in my room. It doesn't change the fact that I miss you to hell and back and sometimes, when i needed that guidance in my life you weren't here to give it. nobody is, anymore. and that's really hard for me right now.
i know you probably thought i was ungrateful in your last moments - hell, i wasnt even there for it. at first, i didn't feel anything. but as the years passed the longing grew worse and worse, and today, 3 years later, I can't. i really can't. I wish you both were still here because that would make things a lot easier on me and i miss you. i'm a scattered mess now without you and falling apart.

I wish I could have changed things in the last few years I knew you. I wish we could have made up everything that happened in the past and just coexisted peacefully in the same house, until it was your time. Maybe it wouldn't have been your time in the end, who knows.

You'll never see this, but it's my way of saying I'm sorry, for being a bad son. I'm sorry for everything that happened and I wish...I wish things could be different.

---

So fly on
Ride through
Maybe one day I'll fly next to you
Fly on, ride through
Maybe one day I can fly with you