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Last night, I was really trying to think of how to effectively describe what depression is like for me. One of my biggest problems is I'm really terrible at putting all of my feelings into one description.
So I did what I did best, and made a picture.
This doodle is what summarizes how I feel down to a point. Last night, I just lied down in bed for hours and was trying to think of how to explain what this picture really meant.
For me, depression is like being blind. It is a legitimate disability and it is a constant obstacle.
Depression is like walking aimlessly without being able to see anything around you. You keep walking and are unable to take in anything around you until you have something slightly different to do. But the only thing there is to do though is listen for the sound of something that might make you happy, that might make you feel something. When you hear this, you have to follow it. Its all you ever have had to go off of.
But there's one huge problem with this.
Everything that would really make you happy is on a different plot of land, with a cliff between you, and it. The reality of things that make us happy being far away is that it's not so much that you just have to walk, but there is an actual gap there.
But being blind, you can't see the cliff, so when you try weakly stumbling towards something that makes a sweet sound, something that makes you happy...you fall.
This is a rinse and repeat process for someone who is depressed.
Every time you try to stumble towards something that makes the slightest feelings of something good for you, being blind, you cannot see that cliff, and unless you manage to feel that weightless step in a split second, you fall, and then you have to crawl yourself out.
By the time you make it out, that thing you were seeking after is usually gone.
But how does somebody find happiness if its always on the other side of a gap?
It's simple, humans have done it for as long as humans have been around.
They build a bridge.
But the thing is, when you don't suffer from depression, happiness is still on the other side of a gap, but you are CAPABLE. You can work, seek out people to help you, try hard, and set your mind to it, and with time, you can BUILD THAT BRIDGE.
But what about the blind bridge builder?
They have the exact same gap to cross. It's no different than the cliff that anyone else encounters, but that blindness makes ALL of the difference.
You have to draw a blueprint, you have to gather supplies, you have to try and find someone who will help a you when you have nothing to pay them, or do it alone. You have to constantly be extra careful to not fall while building the bridge. You have to make sure everything is in the right place so it doesn't collapse when you step on it.
And you have to do this blind.
And the hard part is, after falling over so many cliffs in the pursuit of happiness, you stop trying. The sound of happiness has become a bad omen that means something is about to hurt you.
This is what it's like for me. I have fallen over so many cliffs and failed at building so many bridges that I have become legitimately scared of things that seem like they would make me happy. If I ever come across something that would make me feel better, I can ALWAYS rest assured that something will get in the way, and usually, it's something I'm powerless to deal with. Talking about it never helps. Hurting myself doesn't help. Fucking someones brains out doesn't help. Drawing helps for about an hour before my heart starts to slowly sink again. Ultimately, all you feel will make you happy is if something graces your pathetic existence with a consolation prize. But the reality is, that will not happen. Ever. That's just not how life works.
And the worst part is, once in a blue moon I will well up the courage and drive to reach out for something that'll make me happy. I don't hesitate. And this is a big thing when you're depressed. Courage and hope is important to everyone, and when you're depressed, it's even more so because it's DAMN NEAR IMPOSSIBLE for you to feel. When you're totally blind to the world and you're used to nothing but hearing sirens songs that lead you to nothing but pain, IT IS A HUGE STEP to be courageous anyway.
And at this point, my courage has gotten me nowhere but merely still being alive. And when you're living like this, you don't really think being alive is all it's cracked up to be.
Sorry for the depressing rant I'm honestly just kinda sick of people who haven't experienced persistent depression saying JUST HAVE HOPE JUST KEEP MOVING FORWARD IT GETS BETTER.
I've been this way for 19 years katara if moving forward and fighting battles is all it took I'd be getting better not worse please stfu.
So I did what I did best, and made a picture.
This doodle is what summarizes how I feel down to a point. Last night, I just lied down in bed for hours and was trying to think of how to explain what this picture really meant.
For me, depression is like being blind. It is a legitimate disability and it is a constant obstacle.
Depression is like walking aimlessly without being able to see anything around you. You keep walking and are unable to take in anything around you until you have something slightly different to do. But the only thing there is to do though is listen for the sound of something that might make you happy, that might make you feel something. When you hear this, you have to follow it. Its all you ever have had to go off of.
But there's one huge problem with this.
Everything that would really make you happy is on a different plot of land, with a cliff between you, and it. The reality of things that make us happy being far away is that it's not so much that you just have to walk, but there is an actual gap there.
But being blind, you can't see the cliff, so when you try weakly stumbling towards something that makes a sweet sound, something that makes you happy...you fall.
This is a rinse and repeat process for someone who is depressed.
Every time you try to stumble towards something that makes the slightest feelings of something good for you, being blind, you cannot see that cliff, and unless you manage to feel that weightless step in a split second, you fall, and then you have to crawl yourself out.
By the time you make it out, that thing you were seeking after is usually gone.
But how does somebody find happiness if its always on the other side of a gap?
It's simple, humans have done it for as long as humans have been around.
They build a bridge.
But the thing is, when you don't suffer from depression, happiness is still on the other side of a gap, but you are CAPABLE. You can work, seek out people to help you, try hard, and set your mind to it, and with time, you can BUILD THAT BRIDGE.
But what about the blind bridge builder?
They have the exact same gap to cross. It's no different than the cliff that anyone else encounters, but that blindness makes ALL of the difference.
You have to draw a blueprint, you have to gather supplies, you have to try and find someone who will help a you when you have nothing to pay them, or do it alone. You have to constantly be extra careful to not fall while building the bridge. You have to make sure everything is in the right place so it doesn't collapse when you step on it.
And you have to do this blind.
And the hard part is, after falling over so many cliffs in the pursuit of happiness, you stop trying. The sound of happiness has become a bad omen that means something is about to hurt you.
This is what it's like for me. I have fallen over so many cliffs and failed at building so many bridges that I have become legitimately scared of things that seem like they would make me happy. If I ever come across something that would make me feel better, I can ALWAYS rest assured that something will get in the way, and usually, it's something I'm powerless to deal with. Talking about it never helps. Hurting myself doesn't help. Fucking someones brains out doesn't help. Drawing helps for about an hour before my heart starts to slowly sink again. Ultimately, all you feel will make you happy is if something graces your pathetic existence with a consolation prize. But the reality is, that will not happen. Ever. That's just not how life works.
And the worst part is, once in a blue moon I will well up the courage and drive to reach out for something that'll make me happy. I don't hesitate. And this is a big thing when you're depressed. Courage and hope is important to everyone, and when you're depressed, it's even more so because it's DAMN NEAR IMPOSSIBLE for you to feel. When you're totally blind to the world and you're used to nothing but hearing sirens songs that lead you to nothing but pain, IT IS A HUGE STEP to be courageous anyway.
And at this point, my courage has gotten me nowhere but merely still being alive. And when you're living like this, you don't really think being alive is all it's cracked up to be.
Sorry for the depressing rant I'm honestly just kinda sick of people who haven't experienced persistent depression saying JUST HAVE HOPE JUST KEEP MOVING FORWARD IT GETS BETTER.
I've been this way for 19 years katara if moving forward and fighting battles is all it took I'd be getting better not worse please stfu.
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I share the same ailment, and have recently shared your agenda to try and explain it to people. There is a misconception about it that is impossible to comprehend unless you have experienced it. Depression is not sadness in and of itself, it is the lack of vitality and a suppression, dampening or removal of emotions and the ability to have a healthy range of them - sadness and misery are the most potent of the pool of emotions.
Depression != sadness. Sadness is a consequence of the illness.
And boy do I understand why you resent hearing people ignorant of the illness telling you to just simply 'have hope'. There is very little understanding of how that isn't helpful but just a taunt and a display of what you are missing. Their ignorance of this sickness is offensive when it's reduced to their understanding.
The way I personally describe my situation to people is that I think my emotions, especially the 'happier' ones. I don't really feel them. And people are often confused by that concept, the idea of love, laugher, enjoyment, all that is reduced to logic and cold cognition. What's more confusing is when I tell them that this is something I taught myself to do and that it has been worse before.
I'm a rationalist, I am driven by logic and reason, and I only became that way when I finally went to see a doctor to start the shitty psychiatric procedure of anti depressant medications, trying to find the right one. None have been good enough to fix or mitigate the issue properly but the stability I got emotionally allowed me just that consistent clarity enough to determine some pretty important things - my sexuality, my morals and values and my need to start framing things using the best part of my mind, the logical part. That has changed things and I know it.
That being said, knowing that it's different is still not a fix or a reason to necessarily gain hope. That's still locked away.
My metaphor is this: if depression is a cave, I was deep in it, shackled to the wall and unmoving. Now I'm at the mouth of it, and I can see the world outside, and I can see it for what it is - It is a beautiful place and if I was out there I would not grumble and overlook what a treasure life is. But I'm still chained here. Observation is not enough. I'm not part of the world like I should be, like I could be. But at least I know that if these chains fuck off, I know I'm not trapped in this darkness and I'm aware of the bigger picture of the world.
I won't tell you to stay strong or to just try harder. All I'm telling you is that it's a fact that not only do other people understand and share the struggle, it's also an objectional fact that you can change your life somehow. There is a way. It's your choice whether drilling that into your head is helpful or not.
And if you don't do it already, see a doctor. Fuck this shitty illness. Do everything you can to get rid of it. I won't lie, it's a road that's goddamn hard to tread at the best of times. But the fact is, living like this, the way you are living, is just as goddamn hard. At least there's the chance that you'll get better at the end. It's not hope, it's fact. And if I can choose that road with no hope, I know other people can.
Sorry for the wall of text. Obviously this is as present in my life as it is in yours and you know, there's worth in knowing that other people know the struggle. For what little that worth anyway - no one can take it from you, or share your burden.
I would if I could.
-hugs- Keep on keeping on, is all I can say. Do what you need to do to keep existing - but not existing is objectively wasteful and is the only thing that eliminates even the chance to get better. I truly wish this illness was fiction, for you and me and all those who suffer it. Us depressed folk are among the strongest people to endure it.
Depression != sadness. Sadness is a consequence of the illness.
And boy do I understand why you resent hearing people ignorant of the illness telling you to just simply 'have hope'. There is very little understanding of how that isn't helpful but just a taunt and a display of what you are missing. Their ignorance of this sickness is offensive when it's reduced to their understanding.
The way I personally describe my situation to people is that I think my emotions, especially the 'happier' ones. I don't really feel them. And people are often confused by that concept, the idea of love, laugher, enjoyment, all that is reduced to logic and cold cognition. What's more confusing is when I tell them that this is something I taught myself to do and that it has been worse before.
I'm a rationalist, I am driven by logic and reason, and I only became that way when I finally went to see a doctor to start the shitty psychiatric procedure of anti depressant medications, trying to find the right one. None have been good enough to fix or mitigate the issue properly but the stability I got emotionally allowed me just that consistent clarity enough to determine some pretty important things - my sexuality, my morals and values and my need to start framing things using the best part of my mind, the logical part. That has changed things and I know it.
That being said, knowing that it's different is still not a fix or a reason to necessarily gain hope. That's still locked away.
My metaphor is this: if depression is a cave, I was deep in it, shackled to the wall and unmoving. Now I'm at the mouth of it, and I can see the world outside, and I can see it for what it is - It is a beautiful place and if I was out there I would not grumble and overlook what a treasure life is. But I'm still chained here. Observation is not enough. I'm not part of the world like I should be, like I could be. But at least I know that if these chains fuck off, I know I'm not trapped in this darkness and I'm aware of the bigger picture of the world.
I won't tell you to stay strong or to just try harder. All I'm telling you is that it's a fact that not only do other people understand and share the struggle, it's also an objectional fact that you can change your life somehow. There is a way. It's your choice whether drilling that into your head is helpful or not.
And if you don't do it already, see a doctor. Fuck this shitty illness. Do everything you can to get rid of it. I won't lie, it's a road that's goddamn hard to tread at the best of times. But the fact is, living like this, the way you are living, is just as goddamn hard. At least there's the chance that you'll get better at the end. It's not hope, it's fact. And if I can choose that road with no hope, I know other people can.
Sorry for the wall of text. Obviously this is as present in my life as it is in yours and you know, there's worth in knowing that other people know the struggle. For what little that worth anyway - no one can take it from you, or share your burden.
I would if I could.
-hugs- Keep on keeping on, is all I can say. Do what you need to do to keep existing - but not existing is objectively wasteful and is the only thing that eliminates even the chance to get better. I truly wish this illness was fiction, for you and me and all those who suffer it. Us depressed folk are among the strongest people to endure it.
From what I've heard I don't seem to totally experience the same way. I don't have that "lack of emotions" part that is supposed to be the key highlight of depression. I just have this gut wrenching misery that is literally physically painful. It feels like my heart (like my physical heart) is either being squeezed or just has this constant weight on it.
I experience the numbness sometimes, but that's mostly when the sadness has gotten to me so much I just lose the energy to be able to feel anything at all. So for me it is like you describe in a sense, but mostly it's just this persistent weight that keeps me from being happy.
What I want to do is be happy even when things go wrong.
I have tried so hard to keep my chin up and keep trying to seek out things that make me happy but literally every time I pursue something it goes wrong. I want to be able to keep my head up but I can't manage to be able to tell myself "It's okay you'll get it next time!" because it never has gone better the next time, even when I was capable of feeling that naive notion. Like I just really want one thing to go my way so that my entire life hasn't been a fucking uphill battle.
I feel like I make 5 times the effort as the guy across from me and he has something handed to him and I just have to try over and over and continuously watch people who don't have to struggle like this get things that make them happy.
I'd go to a doctor but my doctor visits always end up going...oddly, and my body doesn't respond well to medications and chemical treatments. I end up puking or whatever they give me gets pushed out.
So at this point I'm just trying to figure out the "Art of being happy". It just doesnt go well. The things that make me happy just always seem out of reach and I have no idea how to get them or I just simply cant have them.
I experience the numbness sometimes, but that's mostly when the sadness has gotten to me so much I just lose the energy to be able to feel anything at all. So for me it is like you describe in a sense, but mostly it's just this persistent weight that keeps me from being happy.
What I want to do is be happy even when things go wrong.
I have tried so hard to keep my chin up and keep trying to seek out things that make me happy but literally every time I pursue something it goes wrong. I want to be able to keep my head up but I can't manage to be able to tell myself "It's okay you'll get it next time!" because it never has gone better the next time, even when I was capable of feeling that naive notion. Like I just really want one thing to go my way so that my entire life hasn't been a fucking uphill battle.
I feel like I make 5 times the effort as the guy across from me and he has something handed to him and I just have to try over and over and continuously watch people who don't have to struggle like this get things that make them happy.
I'd go to a doctor but my doctor visits always end up going...oddly, and my body doesn't respond well to medications and chemical treatments. I end up puking or whatever they give me gets pushed out.
So at this point I'm just trying to figure out the "Art of being happy". It just doesnt go well. The things that make me happy just always seem out of reach and I have no idea how to get them or I just simply cant have them.
Before I say anything (and I really should have said it before), there will be differences in the experiences of each person, minor and major; of course that's understood by both of us, it's a given. I can understand the struggle overall though, and while there are things 'typical' or 'usual', it won't always be the same, or maybe it and it's down to perception. Who knows. But your description made sense and resonated with me, some aspects seem to be very common. And from your response, you're also getting the idea of what I'm saying and yes, there are similarities.
This might seem arbitrary to say, but I know how frustrating it is when people say they 'understand' when they have no goddamn clue. But, having said that, I, uh, understand. At least in the most important ways.
I remember that potent physical pain. It never used to be muted feelings for me, it used to be a disgusting heavy dank web of slimy shit in my chest and a clutter of fuckery in my brain. Existence was misery and happiness was few and far between, and it was never true happiness. It definitely changed for me after starting meds, and it's for the better from my assessment. I think my perception is painted by both my conscious drive to apply rationalism and the process of taking a lot of different medications and assessing the effects. I have a pretty coherent picture now of the nature of my own specific situation, just from comparison, what's consistent and what isn't.
I've almost literally, word for word, described the effort the same way. "10 parts effort, one part progress" I've said - and that's only if you can SEE the progress, sometimes it just feels like aimless endurance. Fuck man it's shit.
It's not aimless though. Feels like a fucking cop-out to hear, especially where you're out but seriously it isn't aimless. It takes a perspective so foreign and so rare to have the ability to access where you're at. I don't blame you if it is a cop-out from anyone, even another person with depression.
I think Cody is right, finding the right people is hard, and lacking meaningful connection with people is really difficult. And if that's the case, you're in a pretty unfortunate and self-dooming cycle with people. Most people are concerned about themselves above all, and that's not the issue - the issue is not going beyond that, or putting it aside at the right times. At the same time, it DOES take trust, and if you're in this cycle that makes it hard to lay your trust on the table, that's an extra barrier. But sometimes these things happen, we meet people we click with, in ways we don't expect. I don't think you should be naive but I also don't think you should give up all hope on the notion that when you meet that nice sweet passionate person, three months will pass and they'll be just as nice and sweet and passionate as they were before, if not more so. It can happen, so keep that in your mind as a possible notion. And the people who fuck off weren't sweet, they weren't good people in the long run.
In regards to doctors and medications and all that stuff, I don't know what it's like over there or how it all works, but GP's tend to be pretty rubbish with depression, so just getting a referral to see a proper psychiatrist or specialist is worth it. And it might take finding the right one. Fuck doctors they're all shitbags most of the time, but they're the route to the other side and enduring the bullshit will be worth it. Again, I know it all sounds like bullshit but it's the way it is.
I implore you to keep pushing yourself to try things. Medication is the most effective thing for persistent clinical depression but if you don't cope with it well that makes things harder. I'd still give meds a go with the help of a specialist; maybe you could overcome the reaction issues with their aid. Failing that, psychology and non-pharmaceutical treatments will, and do, help over time - those things work best against more mild cases, or reactionary depression/anxiety, but it's still a valid approach, certainly better than no approach at all.
There's also a new-ish treatment called TMS, 'Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation'. It's promising for even treatment-resistant depression. It's pretty new and doesn't have a lot of studies on its effectiveness at this point (in fact a lot of the studies suggest it has only potential or no therapeutic benefit), but again it's new and it's just another option - and the options increasing is something incredibly important in treating this stuff. I was in a mental health unit, just trying to see if it'd help, and a lot of people had come for TMS specifically. I'm yet to speak to any of them about how it helped or not, but a small improvement is worth it.
Anyway, like I said before: if I could, I'd take it from you, I would take it from anyone. I don't want anyone to suffer the way I do, like you do. But what I have, is mine to own, what you have is yours to own.
One of the only worthwhile things I have reaped from discussion with a non-depressed friend is this:
'The only "wrong" thing to do, is to do nothing.'
And he's right. Doing nothing means nothing changes. He doesn't know the effort involved in the simple act of "doing nothing", just enduring, but the double-edged truth is that action is the only route to results.
And that is hard as fuck to change. But take your time, and just keep all this in mind for a potential day where you might just be able to say 'You know what? I'm gonna go to the doctor 'cause fuck this shit'. It won't happen without you making the call. You've endured and made it this far, so maybe it's worth making a final push and turning existing into living?
I reiterate my understanding of how difficult it is, and what I said before: Us depressed people are fucking strong people to keep living and breathing. And all this advice above - take it or leave it. Your post was about explaining the feeling, you never asked for any advice. But it matters to me that you hear this stuff, and with any luck, you'll find something useful in it, even just a single little thing to take on board. Ultimately I wish the best for you and your condition. Mental illness is so fucking sinister, but you have people to talk to that DO understand, even if they can't take any of it away. Happiness should never have to be an art, it should simply be yours to have.
Maybe in the future it will be, and if that future comes to be, you'll most certainly treasure it as it should be treasured. It would be impossible not to.
This might seem arbitrary to say, but I know how frustrating it is when people say they 'understand' when they have no goddamn clue. But, having said that, I, uh, understand. At least in the most important ways.
I remember that potent physical pain. It never used to be muted feelings for me, it used to be a disgusting heavy dank web of slimy shit in my chest and a clutter of fuckery in my brain. Existence was misery and happiness was few and far between, and it was never true happiness. It definitely changed for me after starting meds, and it's for the better from my assessment. I think my perception is painted by both my conscious drive to apply rationalism and the process of taking a lot of different medications and assessing the effects. I have a pretty coherent picture now of the nature of my own specific situation, just from comparison, what's consistent and what isn't.
I've almost literally, word for word, described the effort the same way. "10 parts effort, one part progress" I've said - and that's only if you can SEE the progress, sometimes it just feels like aimless endurance. Fuck man it's shit.
It's not aimless though. Feels like a fucking cop-out to hear, especially where you're out but seriously it isn't aimless. It takes a perspective so foreign and so rare to have the ability to access where you're at. I don't blame you if it is a cop-out from anyone, even another person with depression.
I think Cody is right, finding the right people is hard, and lacking meaningful connection with people is really difficult. And if that's the case, you're in a pretty unfortunate and self-dooming cycle with people. Most people are concerned about themselves above all, and that's not the issue - the issue is not going beyond that, or putting it aside at the right times. At the same time, it DOES take trust, and if you're in this cycle that makes it hard to lay your trust on the table, that's an extra barrier. But sometimes these things happen, we meet people we click with, in ways we don't expect. I don't think you should be naive but I also don't think you should give up all hope on the notion that when you meet that nice sweet passionate person, three months will pass and they'll be just as nice and sweet and passionate as they were before, if not more so. It can happen, so keep that in your mind as a possible notion. And the people who fuck off weren't sweet, they weren't good people in the long run.
In regards to doctors and medications and all that stuff, I don't know what it's like over there or how it all works, but GP's tend to be pretty rubbish with depression, so just getting a referral to see a proper psychiatrist or specialist is worth it. And it might take finding the right one. Fuck doctors they're all shitbags most of the time, but they're the route to the other side and enduring the bullshit will be worth it. Again, I know it all sounds like bullshit but it's the way it is.
I implore you to keep pushing yourself to try things. Medication is the most effective thing for persistent clinical depression but if you don't cope with it well that makes things harder. I'd still give meds a go with the help of a specialist; maybe you could overcome the reaction issues with their aid. Failing that, psychology and non-pharmaceutical treatments will, and do, help over time - those things work best against more mild cases, or reactionary depression/anxiety, but it's still a valid approach, certainly better than no approach at all.
There's also a new-ish treatment called TMS, 'Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation'. It's promising for even treatment-resistant depression. It's pretty new and doesn't have a lot of studies on its effectiveness at this point (in fact a lot of the studies suggest it has only potential or no therapeutic benefit), but again it's new and it's just another option - and the options increasing is something incredibly important in treating this stuff. I was in a mental health unit, just trying to see if it'd help, and a lot of people had come for TMS specifically. I'm yet to speak to any of them about how it helped or not, but a small improvement is worth it.
Anyway, like I said before: if I could, I'd take it from you, I would take it from anyone. I don't want anyone to suffer the way I do, like you do. But what I have, is mine to own, what you have is yours to own.
One of the only worthwhile things I have reaped from discussion with a non-depressed friend is this:
'The only "wrong" thing to do, is to do nothing.'
And he's right. Doing nothing means nothing changes. He doesn't know the effort involved in the simple act of "doing nothing", just enduring, but the double-edged truth is that action is the only route to results.
And that is hard as fuck to change. But take your time, and just keep all this in mind for a potential day where you might just be able to say 'You know what? I'm gonna go to the doctor 'cause fuck this shit'. It won't happen without you making the call. You've endured and made it this far, so maybe it's worth making a final push and turning existing into living?
I reiterate my understanding of how difficult it is, and what I said before: Us depressed people are fucking strong people to keep living and breathing. And all this advice above - take it or leave it. Your post was about explaining the feeling, you never asked for any advice. But it matters to me that you hear this stuff, and with any luck, you'll find something useful in it, even just a single little thing to take on board. Ultimately I wish the best for you and your condition. Mental illness is so fucking sinister, but you have people to talk to that DO understand, even if they can't take any of it away. Happiness should never have to be an art, it should simply be yours to have.
Maybe in the future it will be, and if that future comes to be, you'll most certainly treasure it as it should be treasured. It would be impossible not to.
It's probably one of the best descriptions of depression ever. I really like you metaphor of the blind man, it clearly expresses the idea of what it takes to reach happiness for someone that is depressed.
Something that I found really useful and that worked really well for me is trying to do something that you never did in your life. It requires a big courage and a lot of work and it can be really hard but if you really try and you really care about it, you should be able to obtain it. Having people around you is very helpful, you need to recognize who is your friend and who could be an enemy or an obstacle, focus more on your real friends and... try. Later you'll figure out if it's working or not. And if not... try something else. No one said that is easy but together we can make it.
I don't know how if this will be helpful or not but I hope it will. At least... well, I tried.
Thank you again for your metaphor, it'll be really useful in the future for me! *hugs tight*
Something that I found really useful and that worked really well for me is trying to do something that you never did in your life. It requires a big courage and a lot of work and it can be really hard but if you really try and you really care about it, you should be able to obtain it. Having people around you is very helpful, you need to recognize who is your friend and who could be an enemy or an obstacle, focus more on your real friends and... try. Later you'll figure out if it's working or not. And if not... try something else. No one said that is easy but together we can make it.
I don't know how if this will be helpful or not but I hope it will. At least... well, I tried.
Thank you again for your metaphor, it'll be really useful in the future for me! *hugs tight*
Thank you, I'll take that advice. Now for execution x3 I'm unfortunately really bad at making "good" friends. Thats been a constant obstacle for me. I meet really fun, passionate, cool, and sweet people, but after I've known them for three months they just...dont give a fuck, or they end up doing something to stab me in the back...which ultimately just makes it harder to make friends. I am almost completely incapable of trust at this point.
Glad you found the metaphor useful though ^^
Glad you found the metaphor useful though ^^
They probably weren't friends if they decided to stab you or ignore you.
If I were you, I would take the advises of
Don't give up on people because not all of them are like this.
'The only "wrong" thing to do, is to do nothing'. I agree with this at 100%.
Regarding doctors and medication... I can't really help. I had friends offering me anti-depressives and parents suggesting me to see a psychologist but I always said no because I didn't want to depend from something for some time or even my whole life.
If you need any help, want to share something, ask some questions and so on, feel free to send me a note if you think it could be useful for you, now or even in the future.
It's hard, sometime very hard. But it's not impossible, I can guarantee this.
If I were you, I would take the advises of
Don't give up on people because not all of them are like this.
'The only "wrong" thing to do, is to do nothing'. I agree with this at 100%.
Regarding doctors and medication... I can't really help. I had friends offering me anti-depressives and parents suggesting me to see a psychologist but I always said no because I didn't want to depend from something for some time or even my whole life.
If you need any help, want to share something, ask some questions and so on, feel free to send me a note if you think it could be useful for you, now or even in the future.
It's hard, sometime very hard. But it's not impossible, I can guarantee this.
This is a really good way of describing it to someone who might not know how it actually feels to live this way. People will often try to empathize with someone living with depression, but unfortunately it's impossible for someone to actually know what it's like without experiencing it firsthand, and that makes treatment for it often very difficult. It can be very hard to have to work around because it IS a handicap, but unlike a physical handicap it isn't something that can be observed from the outside, or something that can be fixed by providing a pair of crutches or a wheelchair. It can also be really hard to deal with because there's often a sense of conflict in the idea that you feel like you can't do things the way others can, but you also don't want to be set to a lower standard just because of it. You're still a human being like everyone else, and you don't want to be judged as anything less than one.
Anyway, this is really good, and I'm glad you were able to put some sort of visualization to it. Hopefully it will be of help to some.
Anyway, this is really good, and I'm glad you were able to put some sort of visualization to it. Hopefully it will be of help to some.
Thank you for reading it x3 seems not many have
It really is hard because lots of people really do want to help but they just don't know how to work with a "blind" person. Theyre like "ummm...positivity helps blinds people right?! wait no umm...HOW BOUT CAKE?!" People just dont understand what the actual problem is T-T
It really is hard because lots of people really do want to help but they just don't know how to work with a "blind" person. Theyre like "ummm...positivity helps blinds people right?! wait no umm...HOW BOUT CAKE?!" People just dont understand what the actual problem is T-T
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