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Oh, and thanks for the fave, too! :D

Go ahead and praise all you want! 8D *basks in it*

About 'Dagrún': It's a Norse name, so yeah, it seems odd to Saa.

That technique of beginning in the middle is called 'in medias res', which is latin for "in the middle of things". You start somewhere in the middle, when things are perhaps more interesting, and then go back to tell the beginning. Movies and games use it fairly often.

Still, even if it was the beginning of the story, I could have started with dialogue to grab the reader, instead of setting the scene first. You can always start with talking and then build a scene around it, if the talking will grab the audience more effectively.

And yeah, no, there's no Amethystine reference in this, save for _maybe_ two lecherous snakes. (lecherous snakes are my speciality, of course >:} :P ). Two snakes accosting a mantis was the theme of 'In Dreams' as well, heh, but that wasn't an intentional connection.

You don't think it was at all suspicious that the three bandits [well, the first two] just suddenly messed up on their own..? Hrm, okay. 9_9

As for the world, this is one WM and I are making together. The only reference I would have had for this would be what I already know about Saa and the world, from having made it up with WM myself. The feeling of a large world might just be how I wrote it, hinting at more than just the main characters and their lives, or how I wrote it combined with your high opinion of me..! :} It IS a world with a lot of thought put into it, so perhaps that just shows when put on paper. It doesn't hurt that there's a good amount of art for Shattered, so far.

As for Ame not appearing, my character (if I am to claim any of them as being me/mine specifically) would be Ehmyt, the crocomodo-taur. [ http://www.furaffinity.net/view/15998137 ], and he hasn't yet appeared in Saa's life, at this point.

I appreciate your thoughts/comment very much, yes! Thank you, thank you, thank you for a lovely review. :}===<

[and thanks for the fave, too, of course :> ]

No worries about her name, Amethystine! :D

Thank you and WhiteMantis again so damn much this! It's had me bouncing with pride and glee all day!

Ah, I'm glad you noticed my apology there, and that you're okay with that.

Once more, you're welcome, and thank you for your generosity in the auction and for taking the option to hire me too, and thanks for the fave too! :}

Dagrún was a joy to write, I'm happy it made you so happy. C:

This was exquisite! You brought such vibrant life to the characters, and created the scenery of the world so beautifully, it leaves me nearly speechless!

Aaaahh! Thank you so much, Nymphiria! :D

I don't think I did much with the scenery, really. o:

Still, thanks for the fave! <:

-claps- amazing work as always! :D

Thank you, Qzarloid! :}

I love lengthy stories! So much detail and expression can be displayed, I love being able to relax and see the world in your lovely letters! I'm am liking this world of Saa's more and more with each piece.

Oh, I would hardly call this lengthy! O:

Anyway, thank you very much, it's great to hear you're enjoying this world so much, and that you liked this story.

Also, thanks for the fave! :}

Stories like these are why I continue to look forward to more of your work. I loved it and you deserve magnifying laud for this. I look forward to more of your future content. 😃

And I look forward to your future comments! Haha. :}===<

Thank you for the kind words, AND thanks for the fave. <:

You are very welcome. And thank you for your words as well.

Not usually my type of read, but I must say its very intriguing o.o Look forward to reading more of ur work

Well, thanks for reading it, despite it not being your usual thing. :}

And thank you for the fave, too! <:

[This story is just marvelous!

Saa's character is so interesting ^^
More-so when she reached the market with Dragun and began to theorize on the tall woman's past life (her reaction towards the idea was understandable and realistic with how she craves to have some good in her life ;-; )

With how Dagrun had specified the assailant's flaws, she must be experienced with such confrontations and so she's intriguing, to say the least. (And when Saa kept wanting to see what was between her horns had me curious as well. Such wonders if only she could see what it was! XD)

All in all, this was another captivating literature of yours ^^
Your writing style is amazing!]

First off: Thanks so much for the fave on this story AND on 'Haggle ~Or~ The Customer is Always Right'! :D

In reply to your lovely comment: Thank you so much for calling the story marvelous and my writing amazing! <3

I just re-read this one, since it's been a while since I made it, after all. I am suitably impressed with my former self for this one, whereas I'm usually a bit harsh on my old work.

As for Saa's theory about Dagrun, yes, it's hard for someone like Saa to accept kindness without suspicion, and she might have been right about the stranger, were it not for the sorts of things Saa could never even know about.

With regards to what's between Dagrun's horns: You can see it plainly there in the picture that this story links to ( http://www.furaffinity.net/view/16201768/ ), the question is, why can't Saa see it? And why does she not seem to notice or care that Dagrun's physical appearance is totally unlike every single other being that exists in the deserts of this world?

(FYI: it has been stated definitively that only reptiles, bugs and birds live in this world, so how is this weird mix of ungulate and feline or canine present? No matter the mix, it's a mammal, which shouldn't even be here.)

I would think that if there is something keeping someone from looking at a dot in the midst of horns, there could be something else - or something similar - keeping the mind or eye from fully registering the strangeness of the appearance of that same person.

The assailants in the alley: How is it possible that Dagrun both knew those flaws and was seemingly counting on said flaws to come to pass in her favour? How could such flaws be guaranteed come into play in such crucial ways, in such key moments? Is it intuition and observation, or is it something.. less ordinary?

I'll leave you to think about that, and thank you again for reading and responding my work as of late. :}===<

Very nice, rich stuff! Great characterization and great interplay. The setting is also very well sprinkled through in a way that makes me very intrigued!

In this part of your writing history, it seems like you've gotten very good at your character dialog. I'm not saying it was worse before, but it just seems that it's more confidently expressed and carries the story in competent fashion!

This seems like one of your earliest works that emphasizes the importance of existing specifically in a fictional world. I wonder if you enjoy the aspect of world building in your writing. Since the 'Shattered' setting was a group work, was most of the world building of your creation or were you mostly given pieces to work with?

Thanks for the kind words and for the fave on this story! :}===<

I suppose I was getting more practice with dialogue at this point, certainly. :}

The world-building of Shattered was mostly shared, although I'd say the majority of development after the collaborative initial setup was Amaranth's doing. Ie: after the world was established, there was a period of Ama doing a lot of story-creation for Saa in particular.

I like world building alright. Outlining something is always easier and faster than the actual writing of the story, and creating a world in your head is easier than actually constructing it all via whatever medium one chooses to use to display it.

Ack! I was rereading this and noticed that Dagrun taunts the tarantula by saying it has 'two leg feet'. Since it was a spider I must have given it a first pass because of my lack of experience with arthropod characters, but now I realize it might be intended to read 'two left feet'?

It's supposed to be two left feet, yes. Thanks for the heads-up! I could have sworn that someone pointed this out to me before, and I had fixed it before, too. I seem to remember re-reading this one a year or so ago.

But, also, the 'two left feet' thing was originally meant as a joke about how spiders might have more limbs/feet than normal.. even if this particular one was just a biped.

aw, the links to their character sheets dont work

I've updated the links. Although the one for Dagrún was a character sheet and was still working, the links for Saa were never ref sheets, I don't think.