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This comic is for someone who is going through a hard, lonely time of depression; something I'm all too familiar with.
Life isn't fair, millions of people are painfully lonely, and our brain chemicals often punish us for things we have no control of.
And when these things come together, they can destroy a person.
The game of life doesn't play fair, so CHEAT the bastard whenever you can. If you are going through a dark time, there is nothing "weak" or superficial about taking meds to give you enough relief, so that you can live the way you want.
If you have a headache, you take an aspirin; that isn't weak, or shameful.
So if your mind is torturing you, do not let it! The brain is a complex organ that will sometimes sabotage itself; a simple thing, like not producing enough serotonin, can turn a perfect life into hell itself.
If you constantly feel pain, sadness, and despair, it probably is not your fault, so fight back. Depression has no rules, honor, or shame, so when you fight it, neither should you. Do whatever it takes.
Life isn't fair, millions of people are painfully lonely, and our brain chemicals often punish us for things we have no control of.
And when these things come together, they can destroy a person.
The game of life doesn't play fair, so CHEAT the bastard whenever you can. If you are going through a dark time, there is nothing "weak" or superficial about taking meds to give you enough relief, so that you can live the way you want.
If you have a headache, you take an aspirin; that isn't weak, or shameful.
So if your mind is torturing you, do not let it! The brain is a complex organ that will sometimes sabotage itself; a simple thing, like not producing enough serotonin, can turn a perfect life into hell itself.
If you constantly feel pain, sadness, and despair, it probably is not your fault, so fight back. Depression has no rules, honor, or shame, so when you fight it, neither should you. Do whatever it takes.
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But about communism, that reminds me, I really wish we'd be less reverse-totalitarian, just a bit, as near a perfect balance between each. I feel the government nor the economy should have control over the other, however I know that'd be near impossible. To much power to corporations and such....Ironically enough I still have fantasies of being an android slave made by some company, especially if I was made and owned by this gal: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/8968635/
Anyway...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Invert.....otalitarianism
I'm totally with you on the ever-increasing gap between the ultra-rich and everyone else, and the growing power that corporations have over our civic processes (like how nearly every goddamned member of congress is just a bribed plant by Industry X or Y to further its own pursuit of profit).
...And there's nothing wrong or ironic about wantin' to be constructed/owned by Yun-Yung! :D
Also great image :3
Like you, drawing a comic, and being able to use my experiences to help add some interesting content to it, has made a big difference in how excited I am to wake up each morning. Ever notice that pretty much all well-known artists had enormously depressing and/or tragic lives?
SUFFERING ---> ART
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-HwPhoIHK-Y
But years later, when I was in absolute torture from throbbing, heavy, lonely, bitter depression, 20mg of Lexapro gave me my goddamn life back. I still have an overall painful life situation, but with a little help from meds (which thankfully don't have any major side-effects), I'm able to make it through the day, and slowly work towards a better life. Lots of little improvements, one step at a time, things are becoming happier for me.
Our brains have no way of knowing what we want and need, so customize your brain chemicals to your preference!
Oh, and as someone posted below, it really helps to have someone else in contact when you're trying out a new one in the first few days, just in case you get one of the super-fun side-effects. Mine was some extra anxiety and trouble sleeping... but I would've gone through that for months on end for the beautiful results I got with the second try. :)
Some people get it right on the first try, some have to try 3 or 4 or more, but oh my god, when you find the one that clicks with your brain chemistry, the relief is beyond definition.
Also, what kind of doctor?
And while I actually got my prescription from my general practitioner (Family Medicine doc), one can generally get a more exact diagnosis and prescription tailored to you by visiting a psychiatrist, which is the type that psychoanalyzes and prescribes medicine (as opposed to a psychologist, which deals with non-medicine therapy). Although, if you have the time and/or money, seeing both types for a complete therapy regimen can be incredibly useful.
So I would personally recommend finding a local psychiatrist to explain your situation to, but your general local doctor could also be of help. If nothing else, they tend to have connections with a lot of other local medical groups, and probably know of some good psychiatrists.
But seriously. I applaud you for going to someone that can help.
Well after being paralyzed and wallowing in agony for several months, I changed my opinion to "Fuck 'REAL' happiness, it's all the same release of serotonin in the brain, and I'll take ANYTHING over this!"
It was a good change of opinion. The biggest role of those meds is to give you a boost of energy/contentment that allows you to move forward enough to fix your life and find "REAL" happiness. :)
and yeah cause I take antidepressants as well. mostly to dull the edge of stress =w=
also I noticed you were pretty derped when asking the doc in some of those panels :P
:D :D :D
But even still, glad to hear that you're happy!
Sadly however, can't feel sadness anymore anyway, just hollow. So I coulda related, but at least I understand.
Everybody's experience is different, but I will say that I was extremely numb for a few years, and the continuance of that turned into a harsh bitterness and resentment towards the world. But as I've begun balancing my brain juices with medical assistance and doing little things to add more small bits of satisfaction to my daily life, a new mindset has slowly grown out of the ashes; and with all the experience I've had with suffering, I've been able to carefully help it develop and grow. I'm stronger and wiser now, and have been able to crack open the door to my heart again, bit by bit.
Though we as humans exist in the moment, we, and everything around us, is in a state of constant, unceasing change. Like the rest of the universe, we never stop changing entirely, regardless of our own wishes on the matter. So I would say this to you: Keep your eyes open for potential positive changes (but do so carefully, skeptically, and warily), and grab the ones that you can and hold them tight.
Do you need someone to help you?
It's ultimately up to us to self-diagnose to some level, but in my personal experience, I mistook depression for situational sadness/loneliness for well over 2 years, and could literally feel it melt away after a couple days of taking (generic) Lexapro.
Depression, like the picture shows here is a deeper kind of sadness. One that not only makes you feel down but also makes you feel like even getting out of bed in the morning is not worth the effort.
*edit: not to mention I have been on one for most of my life and i am fully familiar with the pretty devastating side effects.
Ironically, it was one of the doctors handing out "the popular new antidepressant" that led me to find my brain-fixer! Not to say that it's the best system, but it happened to work out perfectly for me, personally.
I know there are many people who /do/ need the medication, it is just atm they are being marginalized by the vast numbers of people given it just because they feel 'sad' today and saw one of those comercials.
idealy such things should not be allowed to be advertised to the general public.
Thanks.
Only thing I might add as a warning in general is be very careful when trying new medication; I would highly recommend that you NOT DO THAT ALONE until you know whether there are any side effect/how it will effect you. I had a friend (now doing very well and on meds with no side effects at all) who I nearly lost when they were trying to find the right balance of medication and one mix sent her into a very dark place due to an chemical imbalance caused by one of the rarer side effects.
There is no shame in getting help, and with each passing year the help available keeps getting better. Who knows in another 10-20 years maybe they'll have nanobots or something that can repair it permanently and it won't even be an issue anymore; but you'll never know if your no around to see it. If you need help then get it, or at least talk to someone about it. Your never as alone as you feel, and believe me you are important to someone, don't take yourself out of there lives or withdraw yourself from the world. Do not be afraid to take medication.
Totally hedging my bets on nanobots though, for various reasons~
Strangely though, even though I fell into a depression, I didn't go on medication. I put on the entirety of Friends on DVD and laughed my way through the whole thing. I gained unbelievable amounts of patience and perspective. But I, luckily, didn't get or was able to sort out chemical imbalances in my own head.
Good to hear you're whipping those dumb brain chemical receptors into line!
It's pretty clear my personal issue is/was brain chemistry, as my mother's entire family line has problems producing enough serotonin. I was the first to get medicated for it, and after seeing the results, my maternal-side relatives tried out the same prescription, and it worked for them in exactly the same way! So now we're all brain-balanced and happy. :)
I was always the lose and the scapegoat. Everyone hated me fore some reason. The jocks and the nerds mocked me, my parents thought treatment was for losers. And that's how they viewed me. In my last year of public education, I became a violent son of a bitch. And everyone was afraid of me, I was a threat.
So finally, I get some treatment. But to this day, I have more overruns and setbacks than a bloated weapons program.
So I guess it's less of a war, and more like a slavery campaign! Wheee~
And yeah; both in real life and in the comic, you'll find that my way of dealing with depressing stuff is to ridicule and have fun with it!
It was a lotta panels to work out in 4 1/2 hours, but it made me realize that if I drew The OOPs in this super-quick style, we'd be about 3 times further into the story by now! Oh, quality/quantity divide... why must you make me choose?
Besides, I'm not letting anything stand in the way of me telling these stories in my head. If I get ebola, then it's just gonna have to wait until The OOPs is finished to melt my organs.
Then I had to move again, I kinda snapped, I couldn't take it. I went and got some medication. Not only did it get me through the move, but I still take it. I can't believe what a difference from the person I used to be. So I can relate to this very well. And hey, look at all the attention your silly little comic has gotten. People are drawing yinglet fan characters. That's some level of success, eh?
And you're totally right about the comic; I'm naturally kinda reclusive and not super-social, so I'm still in delighted shock that something I've made is being enjoyed by others! That's one change in my daily routine that has clearly and measurably made me more excited to get out of bed each day. :)
My younger brother is battling this right now and it's not easy to describe. Just being able to accept that those pills aren't "evil" took quite the effort for him and i enjoy seeing you doing a comic on this. The capsules gives the initial boost that can kill the bad thoughts until the person learns to battle the symptoms on his own, with friends, with family members or even the psychiatrist.
And yeah; the majority of the time, a med regimen is for a helpful boost so that the person can have enough energy to face the real problems. Unless you're like me and my entire maternal side of my family, which has a genetic tendency to not produce enough serotonin without external assistance. Thanks, grandma! :P
Don't worry, I'm much happier and stronger now. :)
That's so great to hear. Like, really.
No, scratch that...How do I MAKE them?!
Also, not everybody has flattened affect (a term referring to reduced emotional responses, feeling like a robot, etc). I get that problem, but only for anger and despair, which I'm fine without, hah. Prozac actually makes me more capable of feeling emotions than less, overall. Ambition, excitement, love, and a whole slew of other things are really hard to feel when you're depressed.
And I do have a "customize your life" sorta philosophy; if "who I am as a person" involves being sad, mopey and unmotivated all the time, then screw that; I'm gonna change that to something I prefer! I also take that to the next level and I would totally replace my fleshy bits with bionics if they made me faster/stronger/more shiny. :D
Hope things will from now on be better for you, with your meds.
Thank you so much for putting this out there! More of us who've taken big strides toward recovery need to tell our stories, to let people know that they're not alone, and that there is a bright future if you can take the first steps.
All in all, having gone through it and come out the other side, I just felt I had a little something worthwhile to offer on the subject. Even if it's not exactly the most traditional way of responding to it~
And the majority of long-term depression cases are caused by imbalances in our brain juices, so no matter how well someone might manage their lives, stay positive, or how good a life they have otherwise, that depression will remain and suck the joy out of everything. Even if you're doing everything right. In that case, it's caused by a chemical imbalance, and can only be solved by a medicinal corrective.
The only factor remaining is finding the formula that best works for you personally, which it sounds like you've decided to tackle. Go for it; I wish you the best of luck. If you end up being half as relieved as I have been after finding a good med, then it will be far worth any annoyances you have to deal with during the trial-and-error stage.
Glad you managed to even find some humor is a dark place.
Aching bones, and head aches.
More recently the doctor sent me for some blood tests. He didn't tell me exactly why but I'm hoping the results help us find a better a pill for me.
Just happen to have a habit of perusing deep into galleries for vague familiarity to be restored. A small cost of never developing my memory into the stages I would like with what I've been exposed to. I'm still rebuilding a lot of things as I break down and reconstruct my mental architectures; inherently flawed and hindered by past design, but ever improving.
Though I must admit, I do wish the capacity to handle children better is something I still wish for seventeen years later as I listen around. Lots of mental gymnastics I've done to manage without medications, and I still wish I was given something less... numbing.
Turns out it's not normal to spend a childhood suicidal from isolation, fear-instillation, trust shattering, and emotionally numbing everything with high dosages in an effort to control sadness and anger to be "socially operational". Because I didn't get to pick my style, I got the scorched earth approach to protect my bullies and be kept as a pet and servant at least.
It's real hard for a child to learn that their safety, happiness and emotions are forfeit to those of others. Being the one silenced for doing everything adults say to do to protect and prevent problems while the aggressors get the stern talk and nothing more.
Unfortunately; after many Psychiatrists, Therapists, Counselors; It's my caution to not put all of your eggs in one basket either. If the person (or medication) isn't working for you, then it's possible to consider another as I've learned, even if they live three hours (or more) away from you; rather than twenty or forty minutes out.
Having some life-lines can prove invaluable, both from your own problems;
but also from those imposed by the personnel entrusted with caring vulnerable people seeking help.
Whether it's poor advice, poor medication management and observation, or dangerously unhealthy practices by some...
I do hope folks are more fortunate and can emerge with emotions more intact. From the little I can safely allow, it really is something that folks take for granted and be so dismissive of at times.
Only made worse by the parading of the medication with all of it's potential side effects.
One day, I hope to be able to enjoy four hours of happiness without over spending my budget of joy. To finally feel, without risking a meltdown. Hell, maybe one day even feel whatever this "attraction and pleasure" people outside seem to have for one another. ^v^
In the meantime, I continue to exercise what I've learned quietly to try helping those around.
I apologize for the length, I've tried to summarize it as best I could without dropping too much. For anyone curious. I don't mind talking about any of it now. I've worn down most of it's emotional edge.
I just won't put it in public comments. It's something I prefer to share one on one in DM's or PM's due to length. Also, I just hit "Post Comment". Uh, if I need to hide this comment due to size, just let me know.