It's the good kinda cheating! _{Unlike the dieting cheating with the surgery when one can simply not eat too much}

Yeah! When something in your brain says that "you are miserable" is a rule in the game of your life, then screw playing by the rules, man~

Nuke the fuckers. That's how I see it. I went through that too.

NO MERCYYYYY

I'm on a cocktail of sorts, not perfect but doable. Can't stand the commercials, it's just a list of never ending side effects! XD The announcer sound's like he's taking shit talking so fast! Their so afraid of getting their asses sued they can't squeeze in all the do's and don'ts. But yes it does help many of us. Just part of why I hate adverts, It'd really make me sound like I'm pro-communist but I'm not, I'm just sick of shit. LMFAO

But about communism, that reminds me, I really wish we'd be less reverse-totalitarian, just a bit, as near a perfect balance between each. I feel the government nor the economy should have control over the other, however I know that'd be near impossible. To much power to corporations and such....Ironically enough I still have fantasies of being an android slave made by some company, especially if I was made and owned by this gal: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/8968635/

Anyway...

Did you mean inverted totalitarian?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Invert.....otalitarianism

Damn! That's pretty much my personal thoughts of the main problem with our government/commercial interactions; now I know it has an official name, thanks!

Ha! I hear ya, on both counts. The "you must disclose any and all possible side effects if you want to advertise medicine" thing is a remnant of the crackdown on snake oil salesmen back in the day, who just put alcohol and cocaine into some random herbal mix and sold it as "Baby Toothache Remedy." The US is one of the very, very few countries that actually advertises pharmaceuticals, so it's a weird little system we've got. And that unfortunately turns a lot of people against pharmaceuticals in general, which actually has a lot of good stuff to offer.

I'm totally with you on the ever-increasing gap between the ultra-rich and everyone else, and the growing power that corporations have over our civic processes (like how nearly every goddamned member of congress is just a bribed plant by Industry X or Y to further its own pursuit of profit).

...And there's nothing wrong or ironic about wantin' to be constructed/owned by Yun-Yung! :D

Wtf did I just read XDD

The best advice you'll ever receive!! :D

..... Why do I feel I can relate to this image? o.o;

Also great image :3

I get the feeling that a lot of us on this little corner of the internet have dealt with some inner torment at some point or another. :/

Mmmm agreed. But few have the talent to vent it so creatively :D

I was thinking exactly that as I drew this, actually! Took a break-free 5-hour session to get it done, but I got my message conveyed! :D

Time well spend bud. Time well spent ^.^b

So familiar. Not the same experience with the pills though... <-\/->

Aw, you didn't get the kind that makes a little rainbow? That's probably why it worked for me,

Lol, must quest for the rainbow bottle of epicness. <^\/^>

For me, it was Lexapro! It has a pretty wide range of success across the general population.

I don't recall the name of mine, but it mad me zombiesk, couldn't art for years, got kicked out of the military. (not really kicked out, medically discharged... Still fills like being kicked out though) I don't have much trust in doctors after that. Only recently started to get... ”better.” And in all honesty. doing the comic is helping, a lot. So as, I always seem to say asks weep continue to do so, Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to tell a story in your world. <^\/^>

Haha, the first prescription I tried did the exact opposite; made me super anxious, jittery and irritable! That made me decide to go without meds for a while, but the second try worked a goddamn miracle for me. Turns out it's pretty common to try 2 or 3 before finding the one that'll be your personal guardian angel. But oh my GOD is it worth the trouble when you find it.

Like you, drawing a comic, and being able to use my experiences to help add some interesting content to it, has made a big difference in how excited I am to wake up each morning. Ever notice that pretty much all well-known artists had enormously depressing and/or tragic lives?

SUFFERING ---> ART

I was on one, for a time, that actually made me fill amazing, but they thought it was too much. I was filled with energy, happiness and ideas, oh the imagination sored with that one... but I don't know what it was. Oh well, Let the art flow, so long as I can put a smile on someone's face then Scrap hold no ground. <^\/^>

What!? Damn, gimme some of that stuff, it sounds awesome.

Lol I know right, wish I knew what it was called. <^\/^>

Wish that had been the case here. My brain chemistry isn't a fan of any anti-deps. Nearly wound up on anti-psychotics. So I haven't taken any for a long while now. Thankfully, things haven't been that bad.

I hear their voices like tiny envy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-HwPhoIHK-Y

How appropriate! Only in this case, I want them to sufferrrrr

Order must be maintained, they shall learn their place. *evil emperor cackling*

Seriously! The brain's supposed to serve us; and when it misbehaves, it harms both itself and the person, but only the person has to suffer for it! IT AIN'T FAIR

It really, really has! I avoided them for the longest time because I have a strange tendency to be the small percentage of the population that <Medicine X> doesn't work on, and/or cause crazy side-effects.

But years later, when I was in absolute torture from throbbing, heavy, lonely, bitter depression, 20mg of Lexapro gave me my goddamn life back. I still have an overall painful life situation, but with a little help from meds (which thankfully don't have any major side-effects), I'm able to make it through the day, and slowly work towards a better life. Lots of little improvements, one step at a time, things are becoming happier for me.

Guess I'll try.

If you do, keep in mind that the generic versions of (Brand Name X) are exactly the same thing, but far, far less expensive; and that since human bodies are so complicated and different in tiny ways, if may take a couple tries to find the medicine that works best for you personally; for me, it was the second try, and godDAMN was it worth it. The result can be anything from getting enough mental energy to stand on your own... to something that just destroys the suppressive obstacles in your brain and brings you straight-up happiness.

Our brains have no way of knowing what we want and need, so customize your brain chemicals to your preference!

Oh, and as someone posted below, it really helps to have someone else in contact when you're trying out a new one in the first few days, just in case you get one of the super-fun side-effects. Mine was some extra anxiety and trouble sleeping... but I would've gone through that for months on end for the beautiful results I got with the second try. :)

How long did it take for you to realize your first try was bad?

Three and a half days after taking the first dosage, with the side-effects becoming apparent halfway through day 2. Went back to the doc, explained what I was experiencing, and he said, "Oh, I see! That means your brain is re-uptaking serotonin in this way, so let's try this formula, which deals more with that part of the brain. A few days later, I realized I had forgotten how relieving it is to simply have a 'normal' day.

Some people get it right on the first try, some have to try 3 or 4 or more, but oh my god, when you find the one that clicks with your brain chemistry, the relief is beyond definition.

So I should have a few more visits planned ahead. I'd rather not waste time taking a pill I know doesn't make me feel better.

Also, what kind of doctor?

Yeah; there'a a fair chance it will require some experimentation, and that can be daunting when you're just starting out. That's exactly what made me hesitate so long before giving it a second try. I mean, if you're already having a depressing time of things, that in itself saps one's energy reserves for trying things like this. If you push yourself past that barrier though, happiness is your potential reward.

And while I actually got my prescription from my general practitioner (Family Medicine doc), one can generally get a more exact diagnosis and prescription tailored to you by visiting a psychiatrist, which is the type that psychoanalyzes and prescribes medicine (as opposed to a psychologist, which deals with non-medicine therapy). Although, if you have the time and/or money, seeing both types for a complete therapy regimen can be incredibly useful.

So I would personally recommend finding a local psychiatrist to explain your situation to, but your general local doctor could also be of help. If nothing else, they tend to have connections with a lot of other local medical groups, and probably know of some good psychiatrists.

That must have been an awkward visit to the hospital. Did the doctor recommend that you go and see a vet?

But seriously. I applaud you for going to someone that can help.

I looked for a local vet, but none of them within a reasonable range had experience with exotic birds!

I know! One day you buy a weird crystal barnacle thing from a street Nevrean, and the next thing you know, you can't find any decent medical care. Atrocious.

yeah all artificially happy now. and then getting back to tormenting Kass in that last panel XD

Aye! At first, I thought, "Well if I got anti-depression meds, it wouldn't be "REAL" happiness, so what's the point?"

Well after being paralyzed and wallowing in agony for several months, I changed my opinion to "Fuck 'REAL' happiness, it's all the same release of serotonin in the brain, and I'll take ANYTHING over this!"

It was a good change of opinion. The biggest role of those meds is to give you a boost of energy/contentment that allows you to move forward enough to fix your life and find "REAL" happiness. :)

sweet, at least you can giggle while you torture Kass in his/her new role X3

and yeah cause I take antidepressants as well. mostly to dull the edge of stress =w=

Mine also fixes my insomnia! :D

woot X3

also I noticed you were pretty derped when asking the doc in some of those panels :P

"Heya, doc! Fix my brain! MAKE IT PAY!"
:D :D :D

whos a crazy bird thing that is enslaving their braincells :3c *patpats*

Sounds like a very... interesting visit to the hospital. '^^
But even still, glad to hear that you're happy!

Hey, me too! This is the only life I've got, so I'm giving it all I've got. :)

Now, if only I hadn't killed my emotions, I prolly woulda done this years ago.
Sadly however, can't feel sadness anymore anyway, just hollow. So I coulda related, but at least I understand.

We really gotta do whatever it takes to preserve ourselves; if you're being fed a cycle of painful emotions, that shit'll bore a hole through you if you don't close up your heart to prevent further damage. The world's not going to look out for us, so ultimately it's up to the individual to find a way to keep living.

Everybody's experience is different, but I will say that I was extremely numb for a few years, and the continuance of that turned into a harsh bitterness and resentment towards the world. But as I've begun balancing my brain juices with medical assistance and doing little things to add more small bits of satisfaction to my daily life, a new mindset has slowly grown out of the ashes; and with all the experience I've had with suffering, I've been able to carefully help it develop and grow. I'm stronger and wiser now, and have been able to crack open the door to my heart again, bit by bit.

Though we as humans exist in the moment, we, and everything around us, is in a state of constant, unceasing change. Like the rest of the universe, we never stop changing entirely, regardless of our own wishes on the matter. So I would say this to you: Keep your eyes open for potential positive changes (but do so carefully, skeptically, and warily), and grab the ones that you can and hold them tight.

Val are you okay though? I really like the description and stuff. Obviously you've gone through a lot.

Do you need someone to help you?

Thanks for the concern! A few years ago I definitely needed some help, but I got it, and while things aren't super-happy joy time every day, I recognize that I've come a long, long way since then. Dipping so low has had the side-effect of letting me realize the value of the happiness I do have, and I'm stubborn; I'm not about to let that go anytime soon. :)

Good =) well if you need help please come to me! I'll fix you up <3

Excellent! Always good to have a fixer handy.

Fantastic comic, I understand where you're coming from I have Depression and PSTD and have been ashamed of it for a very long time, but not anymore. Also love the rainbow coming from the pill bottle

Damn; depression's bad enough, I don't want to even think about what the addition of PTSD might've done to me. As you said, those aren't things to be ashamed of; they are vile enemies that must be fought will grit and tactics! And brain pills totally help, even if it does take a few tries to find the one that works best for you.

I know I completely agree with you. As for PSTD, it's like you're one of those really hyper dogs that freak out at everything

Ahhhghgh I'm a bit like that already; thank god depression's all I've had to deal with!

Yeah. Nothing like a panic attack to add fun to your day! I'm glad you found a way to cope! This comic should be seen by more people, it could help them

Well hey, if you know anyone that might benefit from seeing it, then by all means spread it around!

Same problem, same solution. Sent my unruly brain cells to the cerebral salt mine 5 years ago, and they've been working ever since :)

Yeahhh, show the little bastards who's in charge! >:D

Like one of the best cheat codes! Too bad it's also like DLC and comes at a price. But it's all the more worth it if it helps. I myself go through this quite too often but haven't had much resolve for getting out of the depressions. I would try medications but I'm afraid to and probably couldn't afford it. Perhaps it's just sadness I'm feeling since I try my best to fight it by fighting back and trying not to give up. It's a good thing we have people like you who we can call friends. :3

Well thanks! I will say that for one, generic versions of the big name brand stuff is made of exactly the same stuff; a monthly supply for me is just $10. And as for the "Is it just sadness or depression" question, that can be tricky! Sadness tends to be more situational, whereas depression lasts for a longer, more consistent period, and gives you a subdued, tired feeling that saps one's energy to deal with everyday problems.

It's ultimately up to us to self-diagnose to some level, but in my personal experience, I mistook depression for situational sadness/loneliness for well over 2 years, and could literally feel it melt away after a couple days of taking (generic) Lexapro.

Also keep in mind that it is normal to feel sad. Just feeling sad though doesn't mean you are depressed, so don't think that just feeling sad means you should take such meds.
Depression, like the picture shows here is a deeper kind of sadness. One that not only makes you feel down but also makes you feel like even getting out of bed in the morning is not worth the effort.

Right! Figuring out which issue one has is really important, which is made further complicated by how depression often feels like legitimate sadness, and therefore it's easy to assume that the problems are just regular things that you're not dealing with properly. :/

Not to mention that doctors are more than eager to give you anti-depressants at the drop of the hat. Mainly due to the aggressive marketing pharmaceutical manufacturers have done both to the public and to the doctors which blurs the line between the two because they want more money.
*edit: not to mention I have been on one for most of my life and i am fully familiar with the pretty devastating side effects.

That's the unfortunate, but inevitable side-effect of a profit-based medical system. It often means we've got to do our own research in addition to what our doctors recommend. :/

Ironically, it was one of the doctors handing out "the popular new antidepressant" that led me to find my brain-fixer! Not to say that it's the best system, but it happened to work out perfectly for me, personally.

Well thats good to hear.
I know there are many people who /do/ need the medication, it is just atm they are being marginalized by the vast numbers of people given it just because they feel 'sad' today and saw one of those comercials.

idealy such things should not be allowed to be advertised to the general public.

Thank you for this I went through the same thing. Took pills for 5 years and only a little wile ago I have been well enough to get off. Its not week to take pills to fight depression as you said depression is ruthless. 5 years ago I tried several times to end my life and now I am happier then I can remember and in part its thanks to pills that kept me from going over the edge.

Man, it's turning out that this experience is a lot more common that I thought! And yeah, not enough people realize that our brains are mainly just an organ with no ability to know if it's sabotaging itself, so forceful correction is sometimes the only way to kick it back into working order.

I read "mount your depression" in the keywords and that's all I needed to get through this evening.

Thanks.

Bend over, depression, and prepare thyself; there will be no lube for you tonight

I dig it. :b

This is one of the best pieces I've seen about this in a long time! Whether it's needed as a permanent solution or just a temporary bridge to get you through a low point, as long as your alive there is hope and things will get better, you just have to go through the bad to get to the good.

Only thing I might add as a warning in general is be very careful when trying new medication; I would highly recommend that you NOT DO THAT ALONE until you know whether there are any side effect/how it will effect you. I had a friend (now doing very well and on meds with no side effects at all) who I nearly lost when they were trying to find the right balance of medication and one mix sent her into a very dark place due to an chemical imbalance caused by one of the rarer side effects.

There is no shame in getting help, and with each passing year the help available keeps getting better. Who knows in another 10-20 years maybe they'll have nanobots or something that can repair it permanently and it won't even be an issue anymore; but you'll never know if your no around to see it. If you need help then get it, or at least talk to someone about it. Your never as alone as you feel, and believe me you are important to someone, don't take yourself out of there lives or withdraw yourself from the world. Do not be afraid to take medication.

Man; wise words, here! Especially "You're never as alone as you feel." I certainly wish I would've heard that during my down period, as it's incredibly true; loneliness is something we keep to ourselves and don't express outwardly. But if people could tell, then friends, family, and even random people on the street would willingly help you out.

Totally hedging my bets on nanobots though, for various reasons~

You know, I was lucky. For a year of my life, I was so weak I couldn't stand on my own. So tired I slept for 18 hours a day. I realized I had no friends, because not one person came or called to check to see if I was ok. And all my "friends" left for college soon after.

Strangely though, even though I fell into a depression, I didn't go on medication. I put on the entirety of Friends on DVD and laughed my way through the whole thing. I gained unbelievable amounts of patience and perspective. But I, luckily, didn't get or was able to sort out chemical imbalances in my own head.

Good to hear you're whipping those dumb brain chemical receptors into line!

Aye; we are all complex biochemical equations, so it's a wonderful thing when we're able to find our own way of solving it; whether it's therapy, sitcoms, writing poetry or keeping an ant farm.

It's pretty clear my personal issue is/was brain chemistry, as my mother's entire family line has problems producing enough serotonin. I was the first to get medicated for it, and after seeing the results, my maternal-side relatives tried out the same prescription, and it worked for them in exactly the same way! So now we're all brain-balanced and happy. :)

It's like a domino effect of happy~! That's so great.

Yeah. I have severe depression. Seems to be that whenever I put more effort, life gives me another problem. I think my depression became apparent when I was in middle school. It really began to effect me in high school.

I was always the lose and the scapegoat. Everyone hated me fore some reason. The jocks and the nerds mocked me, my parents thought treatment was for losers. And that's how they viewed me. In my last year of public education, I became a violent son of a bitch. And everyone was afraid of me, I was a threat.

So finally, I get some treatment. But to this day, I have more overruns and setbacks than a bloated weapons program.

It's unfortunately true that there are few complete fixes; I myself still deal with a lot of adversity and bitterness left over from The Dark Days, but dealing with suffering is one of the terrible certainties of life. At least at this point in history we have medicines available to help out with that, and we aren't executed by our local lord for seeking help and thus revealing one's weakness. Can't have no serfs that can't produce enough labor hanging around!

TAKE NO PRISONERS.

Actually... now that I think about it, we pretty much have to take prisoners, because the brain bits in rebellion are the ones we need to force back into doing their jobs. :/

So I guess it's less of a war, and more like a slavery campaign! Wheee~

I never suffered from depression but this is cute! I like the art style here.

Hey, glad to hear it! I'm used to doing really slow, tight linework and coloring, so I wasn't sure how a quicker doodle-comic like this would turn out.

And yeah; both in real life and in the comic, you'll find that my way of dealing with depressing stuff is to ridicule and have fun with it!

This artstyle reminds me of a /tg/ or tgchan quest. Very cute, very expressive.

Yeah, that's a pretty good descriptor of this "style!"

It was a lotta panels to work out in 4 1/2 hours, but it made me realize that if I drew The OOPs in this super-quick style, we'd be about 3 times further into the story by now! Oh, quality/quantity divide... why must you make me choose?

It is good that you are trying to help yourself!!! We all love you so don't disappear on us :P

Ohhhh I ain't going anywhere. :) Even in the lowest of low points, I despised the idea of suicide; I'm a stubborn sort, so any brief thought of self-harm just made me more determined to live on, if only to spite those unconstructive feelings.

Besides, I'm not letting anything stand in the way of me telling these stories in my head. If I get ebola, then it's just gonna have to wait until The OOPs is finished to melt my organs.

That is good to hear!!! Stubbornness is a great trait :3. I love your story of Kass and her/his trouble with life in general! Good to hear and if you get Ebola make sure to kick it in the ass XP

I will say that working through my own personal difficulties really gave me a lot of thought and perspective on the subject of hardship, and dealing with it; which mainly involves laughing and squeezing some fun out of it. :)

I had issues for a long time. Anything set me off. Even my normal state was pretty miserable. For years I just figured, things will get better, I don't need medication. The doctor is scary! But I was used to it, I didn't really consider it wrong.
Then I had to move again, I kinda snapped, I couldn't take it. I went and got some medication. Not only did it get me through the move, but I still take it. I can't believe what a difference from the person I used to be. So I can relate to this very well. And hey, look at all the attention your silly little comic has gotten. People are drawing yinglet fan characters. That's some level of success, eh?

Man, that's a lot like my experience; for the longest time, I figured that my sadness was situational, or caused by my own lack of hard work and self-care. My near-breakdown happened shortly after a move; it's one of those top 5 stress-inducing situations, so that'll cause anyone on unsteady footing to fall. But continuing with that metaphor, it took my metaphorical face metaphorically smacking the metaphorical pavement to realize, "Yeah, this isn't just going to fix itself."

And you're totally right about the comic; I'm naturally kinda reclusive and not super-social, so I'm still in delighted shock that something I've made is being enjoyed by others! That's one change in my daily routine that has clearly and measurably made me more excited to get out of bed each day. :)

If I ever improve my art skills to the point where I don't barf uncontrollably at my own sketches I'll draw some yinglets for you, friend.

Ey, feel free to draw yinglets anytime! On one hand, definitely work towards refining your art to a level you're satisfied with, but on the other, drawing is an always-improving thing in one's life that we never truly become "masters" of, so don't hold back or wait until it's "the best it can be" before drawing stuff you enjoy!

Fuck

Exactly!

Depression is a serious thing that too many laugh at, thank you for honoring your friend and trying to shine some light and your thoughts on the subject.

My younger brother is battling this right now and it's not easy to describe. Just being able to accept that those pills aren't "evil" took quite the effort for him and i enjoy seeing you doing a comic on this. The capsules gives the initial boost that can kill the bad thoughts until the person learns to battle the symptoms on his own, with friends, with family members or even the psychiatrist.

Yeah... the marketing arm of the pharmaceutical industry has really alienated a lot of people with its desperate money grabs, which is an enormous disservice to the actual scientists and doctors who actually make the stuff that helps people. I'm a big critic of excess consumerism, and hate the way it's 'sold' in the US, but simultaneously applaud the usefulness of the stuff.

And yeah; the majority of the time, a med regimen is for a helpful boost so that the person can have enough energy to face the real problems. Unless you're like me and my entire maternal side of my family, which has a genetic tendency to not produce enough serotonin without external assistance. Thanks, grandma! :P

Oh... hehe. That's a fun read, as always. Stay strong Sal.

Yesss, glad it was fun, as well as hopefully encouraging/informative! One upside to having gone through all of this and emerged on the other side is that I'm now super-resilient and wise enough to take care of myself well. I wouldn't exactly recommend the experience, but at least it's made me much stronger!

Welp, that dealt with the depression ... :D

Just gotta find the solution that works for you, yup!

This simple comic is truly inspiring to those that suffer from this condition. Your portrayal of depression would defenitly help many that suffer from it and I am glad that you were able to overcome it.

I really hope so! At the very least, having gone through this for such a long time has given me some useful perspectives on the issue.

Muhahaha ! Such sillyness

The response I've developed to dealing with serious/depressing stuff is to squeeze some fun out of it~

Man this is awesome and so so true. Depression really is a pain in the ass!

No no no, it's a pain in the brain! The ass is just full of squishy stuff, as far as I'm aware. :X

Indeed, it's trying to divert attention to the squishy stuff instead of what truly matters!

Indeed, butts are very important.

this answers more then it should

Ha ha haaa, doesn't it though? :D

U_U *hugs*

D'aww! *Hugs back*

Don't worry, I'm much happier and stronger now. :)

<3 <3 <3

That's so great to hear. Like, really.

Where can I get some of those pills?
No, scratch that...How do I MAKE them?!

Oh, that's simple! Just put together approximately 20mg of C17H27NO2 in your home laboratory and you're good to go!

I should speak seriously though rather than just in dumb puns - this is a fantastic comic. I understand why people are wary of antidepressants, but the truth is - it's your life. If you're afraid that meds will change who you are as a person, then just remember that it is your decision to take them or not, and so they can only make you more yourself, rather than less so.

Also, not everybody has flattened affect (a term referring to reduced emotional responses, feeling like a robot, etc). I get that problem, but only for anger and despair, which I'm fine without, hah. Prozac actually makes me more capable of feeling emotions than less, overall. Ambition, excitement, love, and a whole slew of other things are really hard to feel when you're depressed.

Hey, that's the same effect I get; less downtime, more reception of positive/enjoyable emotions! I've found that most of the perceptions of "zombifying" meds come from stabilizer-types, like those used to treat bipolar and schizophrenia-related problems. Which is kind of the point; to subdue those feelings a bit so they don't make you do crazy things. :/

And I do have a "customize your life" sorta philosophy; if "who I am as a person" involves being sad, mopey and unmotivated all the time, then screw that; I'm gonna change that to something I prefer! I also take that to the next level and I would totally replace my fleshy bits with bionics if they made me faster/stronger/more shiny. :D

Just a trully well done comic.

Hope things will from now on be better for you, with your meds.

Thanks! And things have been better for about a year now, with no signs of setbacks. Plus, I'm super self-aware now about moods and emotional states (thanks to all the practice), so I'm confident in my abilities to diagnose and handle myself if/when difficulties do come my way again.

This made my day ^^

Good, good! I was secretly hoping this would make somebody's Wednesday~

Yup.

Eyyyyyup

I keep coming back to look at this. I didn't want to pipe up because I'm yet another "Me too!", but It's my story, too, complete with the frustration, shame, struggle, and the ever-closer victory. Bi-Polar type II, here. Admitting and accepting that we need help can be the hardest part on the road to wellness, and I wish more people would recognize that in themselves, and then take those first steps. Sure, you need a lot of mental adjustments to this weird, ingrained embarrassment and feelings of weakness, and then to deal with feeling broken when we're really not, and then learning to make a habit of recognizing and dealing with triggers, but it's so very, very worth it.

Thank you so much for putting this out there! More of us who've taken big strides toward recovery need to tell our stories, to let people know that they're not alone, and that there is a bright future if you can take the first steps.

Ey, this piece is pretty much designed for "me too" experiences! One of the main reasons I posted it is that there are so many people who go through this; regardless of what sorts of Brain Battles we're faced with, the process is pretty much the same... as is the usual response to having to go through that process. At the very least, we're living in an age where the stigma of mental illness is beginning to fade as we learn more and more about the causes and potential treatments.

All in all, having gone through it and come out the other side, I just felt I had a little something worthwhile to offer on the subject. Even if it's not exactly the most traditional way of responding to it~

Maybe not traditional, but totally accurate. :D I like it a lot!

Yup.

????

Is that intended as a CD, a single breast, or something else?

This is a funny, yet truthful representation of what it's like to have not only depression, but other mood/personality/behavioral problems as well. I think the most beautiful part about it is that despite the dramatically depicted series of events, the comic ends with the character simply able to enjoy a peaceful day ♥ That's all that some of us can hope for sometimes.

Seriously; just like experiencing an injury or illness, a regular day afterwards without life-stopping suffering can seem like heaven.

Im attempting medication myself once more, I am hoping it goes well, its better then feeling like crap, and I dont know any other way anymore to deal with the type of depression that I have.

It's depressing (lol) to consider how much that little chemical imbalances can chance the entire nature of one's existence. Still, to people who've spent large chunks of time lacking the energy and motivation to live life the way they want to, the idea of one of the meds in the trial-and-error stage making them short-tempered or sleepy for a few days is pretty tame compared to the inescapable, crushing weight of depression.

And the majority of long-term depression cases are caused by imbalances in our brain juices, so no matter how well someone might manage their lives, stay positive, or how good a life they have otherwise, that depression will remain and suck the joy out of everything. Even if you're doing everything right. In that case, it's caused by a chemical imbalance, and can only be solved by a medicinal corrective.

The only factor remaining is finding the formula that best works for you personally, which it sounds like you've decided to tackle. Go for it; I wish you the best of luck. If you end up being half as relieved as I have been after finding a good med, then it will be far worth any annoyances you have to deal with during the trial-and-error stage.

Since I can't fave this a second time, I've decided it should be shown to anybody that sound like they need it! Prepare for new fans Val!

By all means, please do! Just make sure they know they don't have to be a prehistoric bird-thing to benefit from useful medications.

Indeed!

I know the feeling, my pills give me constant nightmares but I would take nightmare's during my sleep than spend every single moment awake making me myself feel worthless.

Glad you managed to even find some humor is a dark place.

My recommendation; try different pills! It's very rare to find one's personal match on the first try. Mine was the third, but hell if I wouldn't have gone through more trials if I knew how well the right formula would work for me.

So far I've gone through I believe 2 or 3 different types the others ones had their side effects but they were more on the physical side.

Aching bones, and head aches.
More recently the doctor sent me for some blood tests. He didn't tell me exactly why but I'm hoping the results help us find a better a pill for me.

Best video about depression. Ever. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68zWXFHyaTI

For me it's manic-depression. So I take a "mood enhancer" called Lamotrogine. It basically keeps me from the bottom but I still have crazy-go-nutz days.

Such a good example of depression. We hates it, we hates it lots.

Ah, I truly hope things be carrying well with the passage of four years.

Just happen to have a habit of perusing deep into galleries for vague familiarity to be restored. A small cost of never developing my memory into the stages I would like with what I've been exposed to. I'm still rebuilding a lot of things as I break down and reconstruct my mental architectures; inherently flawed and hindered by past design, but ever improving.

Though I must admit, I do wish the capacity to handle children better is something I still wish for seventeen years later as I listen around. Lots of mental gymnastics I've done to manage without medications, and I still wish I was given something less... numbing.

Turns out it's not normal to spend a childhood suicidal from isolation, fear-instillation, trust shattering, and emotionally numbing everything with high dosages in an effort to control sadness and anger to be "socially operational". Because I didn't get to pick my style, I got the scorched earth approach to protect my bullies and be kept as a pet and servant at least.

It's real hard for a child to learn that their safety, happiness and emotions are forfeit to those of others. Being the one silenced for doing everything adults say to do to protect and prevent problems while the aggressors get the stern talk and nothing more.

Unfortunately; after many Psychiatrists, Therapists, Counselors; It's my caution to not put all of your eggs in one basket either. If the person (or medication) isn't working for you, then it's possible to consider another as I've learned, even if they live three hours (or more) away from you; rather than twenty or forty minutes out.
Having some life-lines can prove invaluable, both from your own problems;
but also from those imposed by the personnel entrusted with caring vulnerable people seeking help.
Whether it's poor advice, poor medication management and observation, or dangerously unhealthy practices by some...

I do hope folks are more fortunate and can emerge with emotions more intact. From the little I can safely allow, it really is something that folks take for granted and be so dismissive of at times.
Only made worse by the parading of the medication with all of it's potential side effects.

One day, I hope to be able to enjoy four hours of happiness without over spending my budget of joy. To finally feel, without risking a meltdown. Hell, maybe one day even feel whatever this "attraction and pleasure" people outside seem to have for one another. ^v^

In the meantime, I continue to exercise what I've learned quietly to try helping those around.

I apologize for the length, I've tried to summarize it as best I could without dropping too much. For anyone curious. I don't mind talking about any of it now. I've worn down most of it's emotional edge.
I just won't put it in public comments. It's something I prefer to share one on one in DM's or PM's due to length. Also, I just hit "Post Comment". Uh, if I need to hide this comment due to size, just let me know.