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19 Page comic commission for 
neox
It was a late evening at Mackenya's House and after Pierric announced he was gunna get some food going Mackenya and neox sat down on couch secretly plotting. Neox had a dream, something hed always wanted to try and Mackenya was the perfect guy to help him with it. Having learnt everything he needed to know and discussing it Neox began preparing for the ritual meanwhile Pierric oblivious to the goings on in the next room happily hummed his favourite tune while he began mixing the some cake batter.
New comic is finaly here! ^^ and its certainly gunna be an interesting one :3 jus a heads up in advance guys this comic does involve merging and obsorbtion as well as tf so for those of you not really into this kinda thing you have been warned ;3
That said sit back and hope you enjoy the comic as it comes ^^ and a big thx to Neox for giving me this chance :3
neoxIt was a late evening at Mackenya's House and after Pierric announced he was gunna get some food going Mackenya and neox sat down on couch secretly plotting. Neox had a dream, something hed always wanted to try and Mackenya was the perfect guy to help him with it. Having learnt everything he needed to know and discussing it Neox began preparing for the ritual meanwhile Pierric oblivious to the goings on in the next room happily hummed his favourite tune while he began mixing the some cake batter.
New comic is finaly here! ^^ and its certainly gunna be an interesting one :3 jus a heads up in advance guys this comic does involve merging and obsorbtion as well as tf so for those of you not really into this kinda thing you have been warned ;3
That said sit back and hope you enjoy the comic as it comes ^^ and a big thx to Neox for giving me this chance :3
Category Artwork (Digital) / Transformation
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 985 x 1280px
File Size 183.8 kB
Listed in Folders
I've seen up until the latest part of the comic, and I have to say that it's pretty awesome!
One problem, that remains regardless of the situation, is the problem of translating story to still comic. In transformation; some people like fast transitions, others like slower transitions. I like that in the comic, it's meant to be slow. But the issue for me is that the moaning and interactions between the two characters would likely draw the attention to themselves far faster than it seems to in the comic; mixing batter shouldn't take like 20 minutes.
But bleh. Nitpicking. It's mostly an issue with translating the story to comic; the character is supposed to be elsewhere until the part in which one character is almost entirely absorbed into another. Another peculiarity is the lack of apparent understanding on the surprised characters' behalf; he knows what's happening, but doesn't know why it's occurring, but that seems pretty immediately contradictory.
I guess what I mean by that, is that all the characters seem to know, at least somewhat, what's happening to Neox. Neox knows. He doesn't tell anyone else for some inexplicable reason, if though he doesn't seem to have any motivation to NOT tell anyone else; evidently it was important enough that he desired to actually accomplish it, and the magical information needed to do it was readily available.
So if he's had a dream like this, surely he's had stirrings towards paws before; especially the host's hoofed feet. If these individuals are his friends, wouldn't it make more sense for them to.. 1. Already know he's into it. 2. Not be surprised and feign understanding when it comes to allowing him to do it. 3. Possibly try to talk him down, while simultaniously attempting to be supportive?
That said, it wouldn't allow for the story to be nearly as hot, but who knows. Maybe our batter making friend adding in some chat about whither or not it's really safe, or asking about why he wants to have it done to him, so on, would add an interesting extra layer of tension into the comic?
One problem, that remains regardless of the situation, is the problem of translating story to still comic. In transformation; some people like fast transitions, others like slower transitions. I like that in the comic, it's meant to be slow. But the issue for me is that the moaning and interactions between the two characters would likely draw the attention to themselves far faster than it seems to in the comic; mixing batter shouldn't take like 20 minutes.
But bleh. Nitpicking. It's mostly an issue with translating the story to comic; the character is supposed to be elsewhere until the part in which one character is almost entirely absorbed into another. Another peculiarity is the lack of apparent understanding on the surprised characters' behalf; he knows what's happening, but doesn't know why it's occurring, but that seems pretty immediately contradictory.
I guess what I mean by that, is that all the characters seem to know, at least somewhat, what's happening to Neox. Neox knows. He doesn't tell anyone else for some inexplicable reason, if though he doesn't seem to have any motivation to NOT tell anyone else; evidently it was important enough that he desired to actually accomplish it, and the magical information needed to do it was readily available.
So if he's had a dream like this, surely he's had stirrings towards paws before; especially the host's hoofed feet. If these individuals are his friends, wouldn't it make more sense for them to.. 1. Already know he's into it. 2. Not be surprised and feign understanding when it comes to allowing him to do it. 3. Possibly try to talk him down, while simultaniously attempting to be supportive?
That said, it wouldn't allow for the story to be nearly as hot, but who knows. Maybe our batter making friend adding in some chat about whither or not it's really safe, or asking about why he wants to have it done to him, so on, would add an interesting extra layer of tension into the comic?
Tis true I othen find working script into a comic is the hardest part of the whole process lol ive tried adding speech bubbles before but (and this is very likely jus me) I find they either take up too much of the shot or are hard to sum up in a way where the dialoge isent too long. As for this story while I can see what you mean I should point out that I have a specific shortend version of the story to work with and need to fit it onto 16 pages which is much easier said than done lol it may be best to read the story that its based on not to mention its a great read :3 http://www.furaffinity.net/view/12785195/
All that said thank you for your feedback ^^ I love critique on my work as while I may have reasons for doing it as I did its always helpful to think on and try improve in later work ^^
All that said thank you for your feedback ^^ I love critique on my work as while I may have reasons for doing it as I did its always helpful to think on and try improve in later work ^^
I did read the story in each pieces' description, but I suppose I should read the short story.
Regardless; I get what you mean about comic text. Speech bubbles can cover up important parts of the imagery, especially if you aren't really an expert in the format. (Marvel, for example, probably WOULD be an expert.) And on top of that, some dialogue is far too important to leave out. I feel like comics are a better medium for really short and immediate TFs, and perhaps some of the shenanigans that occur post-TF. The thing that comes to mind are the stock photos paired up with first person short stories. I feel like a comic medium for that style of story would probably make the story a lot more interesting and attention-capturing.
ie; Donny gets tf'ed into a dog. The first two portions of the comic include onomatopoeia and the TF from man into dog. The following page includes 'thought bubbles' about what he thinks, paired with simple pictures of him as a dog, exploring his surroundings and/or himself. The thought bubbles, because of the predicament, are allowed to be quite short. Stuff like "I've never been able to lick there..' and other semi-cheesy lines, that actually fit perfectly fine in the medium.
I think the main issue with comics is that it can be hard to illustrate a deeper story without having cut-away segments that talk about something occurring outside of the time-frame established by the 'main' portion of the comic; IE: Nox and Mackenya are the main plot; At least two of the pages include pretty much the same thing happening: Nox tf'ing under Mackenya's hooves. You could snap away from Nox and Mackenya much quicker, and include a humorous monologue from Pierric about the moaning in the next room.
This way, you aren't spending nearly as much of the comic displaying something that will inevitably happen, and each panel can be a substantial progression of the TF at hand, that way Pierric has time to put the batter in the fridge before entering the room; which kinda makes things seem more dire. Pierric has no idea how the TF has progressed. When he finally enters into the room, he'll find that Nox is mostly absorbed, having entered at the last few frames of the TF. The following panel could be a really abrupt discussion between Mackenya and Pierric about Nox's choice to get tf'ed, and what it means for both of them.
That said, I haven't read the source material. I'm assuming that there is no real reason for Pierric to be that welcoming once he hears from Nox.
But bleh. I'm really glad that you are accepting of criticism; it can be difficult to find individuals on FA who are capable of learning from it.
Regardless; I get what you mean about comic text. Speech bubbles can cover up important parts of the imagery, especially if you aren't really an expert in the format. (Marvel, for example, probably WOULD be an expert.) And on top of that, some dialogue is far too important to leave out. I feel like comics are a better medium for really short and immediate TFs, and perhaps some of the shenanigans that occur post-TF. The thing that comes to mind are the stock photos paired up with first person short stories. I feel like a comic medium for that style of story would probably make the story a lot more interesting and attention-capturing.
ie; Donny gets tf'ed into a dog. The first two portions of the comic include onomatopoeia and the TF from man into dog. The following page includes 'thought bubbles' about what he thinks, paired with simple pictures of him as a dog, exploring his surroundings and/or himself. The thought bubbles, because of the predicament, are allowed to be quite short. Stuff like "I've never been able to lick there..' and other semi-cheesy lines, that actually fit perfectly fine in the medium.
I think the main issue with comics is that it can be hard to illustrate a deeper story without having cut-away segments that talk about something occurring outside of the time-frame established by the 'main' portion of the comic; IE: Nox and Mackenya are the main plot; At least two of the pages include pretty much the same thing happening: Nox tf'ing under Mackenya's hooves. You could snap away from Nox and Mackenya much quicker, and include a humorous monologue from Pierric about the moaning in the next room.
This way, you aren't spending nearly as much of the comic displaying something that will inevitably happen, and each panel can be a substantial progression of the TF at hand, that way Pierric has time to put the batter in the fridge before entering the room; which kinda makes things seem more dire. Pierric has no idea how the TF has progressed. When he finally enters into the room, he'll find that Nox is mostly absorbed, having entered at the last few frames of the TF. The following panel could be a really abrupt discussion between Mackenya and Pierric about Nox's choice to get tf'ed, and what it means for both of them.
That said, I haven't read the source material. I'm assuming that there is no real reason for Pierric to be that welcoming once he hears from Nox.
But bleh. I'm really glad that you are accepting of criticism; it can be difficult to find individuals on FA who are capable of learning from it.
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