You seem to have a severe problem with understanding which of different homonyms (words with different spellings, but same pronunciations) to use. You should also clean up your capitalization, sentences should always begin with a capital letter. It's also best to start a new paragraph when the speaker changes.

You also just need to look into basic grammar, usage and spelling. Just because the spell-checker doesn't have squiggly lines doesn't mean it's spelled right and choosing the first option your word processor pops up doesn't mean it's the right one. (It actually is rarely the right one, and even with a spell checker you need a decent idea of how words are spelled in the first place.)

As for the story itself, it reads kind of clunky and the dialog doesn't seem very believable. When writing dialog its best to almost speak the conversation out loud as you write it and think about how two people actually speak to each other.

yeah I realize I have sevre problems with spelling etc. but im in set 3 for english for that reason and apologize if it was unbearable trying to sort it out while still thinking off what your putting down is hard for me but thank you for the review

Now if I may toss my two cents in.. You sir. *points up slightly.* you may act like yer tryn to help...I'm sure you may be tryn to help. But take it from a guy like me who's been assaulted by asshole Grammar Nazies on near regular pace....the way you worded your comment in "my" eyes was somewhat rude. Now this is just my mind speaking outloud here so don't get all uppady. Now anyways no ones perfict and everyone try's and we should give them credit for there effort. I don't know if this is the posters first or second or what ever story...but you should have seen my work at...four stories...I look back at them and learn how I have made it to be better next time. I didn't get good untill my tenth story and from there up. (all my stories are my good ones here just so I don't get baddly hammered by the GN.) so do cut the kid some slack. Let me ask you something sir....do you honistly think you was born with the gift of correct Grammar and spelling and all that other what not? Nope...you learned from your mistakes just like we did and do. So if ya think your better than someone just because you "may be able to run them down with your socalled flawless grammer...do look again...no ones perfict. This is all I have to say.