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Category Artwork (Traditional) / Comics
Species Alligator / Crocodile
Size 1000 x 250px
File Size 34.2 kB
Overview:
1: Gator leaves "Lil' Hungry Car" parked against a mailbox.
2: Gator spies Otter entering new friend's house.
3: Gator comforts self by imagining vicariously living experience through Otter.
4: Otter leaves house surprisingly soon.
5: Gator watches Otter leave, wondering why they are going to not stay for the fireworks.
6: Gator listens at the door, and overhears unknown occupant beyond (assumed parent) explaining (to assumed child) why the otter was sent away.
7: Gator stares unfathoming after Otter's continuing departure.
8: Gator sits outside Otter's house, outside bedroom window while fireworks go off in the evening sky while the Otter lies face down on the bed.
1: Gator leaves "Lil' Hungry Car" parked against a mailbox.
2: Gator spies Otter entering new friend's house.
3: Gator comforts self by imagining vicariously living experience through Otter.
4: Otter leaves house surprisingly soon.
5: Gator watches Otter leave, wondering why they are going to not stay for the fireworks.
6: Gator listens at the door, and overhears unknown occupant beyond (assumed parent) explaining (to assumed child) why the otter was sent away.
7: Gator stares unfathoming after Otter's continuing departure.
8: Gator sits outside Otter's house, outside bedroom window while fireworks go off in the evening sky while the Otter lies face down on the bed.
Ok. Honestly, that wasn't really clear to me. I thought this was otter's house, and I didn't realize he left it.
Hmm. I think I figured out where I went wrong. In strip 59 I thought the otter knew gator was watching, so he was talking to himself to make it seem like he did have other friends, although he didn't. Not only do you not see the other person in the scene, you also don't hear him, so I couldn't tell if there was another person or not.
Same thing happened in this strip. I didn't really see anything suggesting other characters in the scene so I figured otter was the one saying "I'm sorry…"
Anyway, just some constructive criticism. Now that I see what happened I get what you're doing.
Hmm. I think I figured out where I went wrong. In strip 59 I thought the otter knew gator was watching, so he was talking to himself to make it seem like he did have other friends, although he didn't. Not only do you not see the other person in the scene, you also don't hear him, so I couldn't tell if there was another person or not.
Same thing happened in this strip. I didn't really see anything suggesting other characters in the scene so I figured otter was the one saying "I'm sorry…"
Anyway, just some constructive criticism. Now that I see what happened I get what you're doing.
You know, I had the same conclusion that Dyandod did. I thought the otter had seen Gon' too, and was making the rest of it up. A phantom friend. That's why the next strip seemed like such an abrupt shift. Because I didn't know the gator was still effectively hiding from him, and why the otter didn't know at least partially what was going on.
Now the transition to the next couple of strips makes sense for me too.
Now the transition to the next couple of strips makes sense for me too.
I think I'll employ a verbal naviGATOR and patch some of the word balloons with additional information like DIS MUST BE DE FRENZ HOUSE and HERE COME SUMWUN and IS DIS DE FRENZ PARENT AH HEARZ? to help set up context corrals.
I do appreciate the criticism. I encourage you both to see the comic's earlier at https://www.gonechoo.com so you can help me detect these things faster, as Furaffinity gets updates 2 behind release.
Thanks!
I do appreciate the criticism. I encourage you both to see the comic's earlier at https://www.gonechoo.com so you can help me detect these things faster, as Furaffinity gets updates 2 behind release.
Thanks!
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