Use past tense instead of present tense.
This needs paragraphs. Every new speaker or change in speaker create a new paragraph. Every time there is a new action by a character create a new paragraph.

Not much can be said on the plot. The vagueness does create a mystery, but you are in the deep waters of the metaphysic court from the get go.

This is troublesome as it is a difficult thing to work in. With a host of powerful entities running behind the scenes the story can easily fall apart and the audience ceases to care; especially if the universe is convoluted and makes no sense.
In fact the only two authors I have seen to do this right have been Neil Gaiman and Jack Kirby.
In concern of dialogue with entities think about writing for characters. How should they speak? Right now the dialogue does not seem to fit.

Still, there is no way to see where this is going for your audience, the only way is to write away.

*Sunny Lergiab* THANKS. I'll try. Personally I spoke this out well, but I have a tendency to write things out badly, but this advice ought to go a long way for me!