Ugh. this looked so much better in my head and with just the inks.... I looked for 2 hours to try and find a background pic like the Cliffs of Moher for this, since that was the image in my head. God, I miss Ireland... Even the air smells different over there... I guess after you spend 7 summers over there, even if you haven't been back in several years, old habits and feeling die hard.

Onto the content:
I don't know if I'm stupid or what. Yeah, probably stupid. You work so fucking hard to sever ties, to distance and isolate yourself, you do everything in your power to try and fucking destroy something that once meant so much to you... more than it ever rightfully should have. You take all those misplaced positive emotions and energy, and you work like hell to warp it into the opposite. You WANT to hate, you WANT to burn bridges and you WANT to just walk away.... Because it's easier than sticking it out.

But, eventually, for even a few fleeting moments, you wonder if you did the right thing. You miss the connection and the company, the conversation, everything. You think back on the events that brought you to this point in your life and wonder how things would have been if you'd done things differently. If you'd done this instead of that, if you'd never done that in the first place.

Then the fear grips you. "What have I done?!" You ask yourself, thoughts crowding your head in moments of peace and calm. The realization of all the hurt you've caused, all the chances at redemption you've blown, everything you might have done to try and repair the damage. By this time, it's probably too late, and after all this drama-trauma, do you really think you can be forgiven? Do you think you even DESERVE it? You find yourself loathing your very exsistance. You start believing you deserve everything that comes to you. Because IT'S ALL YOUR OWN FAULT. There is no one to blame but you. And you accept that.

But sometimes, you still wonder. Like Orpheus, keeping his back to Eurydice as they walk to the exit of Hades' Realm. Do you dare look back?



I don't know....