From Colonel Rudoji Lape-

Tonight I feel real buggered. I can’t shake these emotions, and I’m beginning to feel that this may be something more than just a simple bad mood or ennui.

I’ve been going out on the town less and less lately. Every time I do, I feel like I’m playing dress-up, rather than being myself in a skirt and fishnets. There’s little I feel from going clubbing, and I’ve even started abandoning the new people I meet.

I guess I don’t belong in that part of society. I wasn’t meant to be in the world of cute fun and colorful designs. I can’t be around those that share my common tastes.

I love chibi, cat-girls (and guys ^^), and all things adorable. But… anyone that will have anything to do with me has no care for that aspect of my personality or life. I am a tool, only meant to improve the lives of others.

And I find it odd that I attract an awful lot of straight, normal guys. Not that I’m looking for someone, ‘cause I already have a beautiful, wonderful man <3 <3, but I never seem to make any connection to anyone beyond a utility level; just to do something for them.

I was meant to be a man of purpose. My only needed function in this Universe is to fly an aircraft to a target, line up crosshairs, and fire and destroy. No questions, no other thoughts required.

Pffft….. and now I realize this. >_<

... guess I ought to start accepting it. After all, I get big guns.