just some vent stuff
drew Merus dangerous split personality side Malice making her appearance as she slowly starts to take over

_______________________________________

just been things going on and home, at work and few other things that kind if bring me down.. or upset me, either way it all feels the same

sometimes i just don't feel like being nice anymore...people just trample all over me the moment they seek any kind of weakness in me and i'll admit its my fault for allowing it to happen or continue.. i allow it to happen and never say a word... do i want to? well of course i do. as of late i just feel like yelling at people, telling them to back the fuck off to the ones that deserve it.. and i want to love the people that i care about so dearly until it literately hurts..
im usually a nice person to everyone (id like to think i am).. but people are just slowly making me want to feel bitter... treat them like they treat me. there is days im getting tired of bottling up, for soon it feels like that bottle will shatter at any random moment and i'll let my rage out

i know deep down inside i can be a monster... and there's days as of late i very much want to be one..
but at the same time i dont want to become a vengeful tyrant like my mother, but at least people dont walk all over her like they do me.
my mom would also find some respect in me.. as she always kind of wanted me to be like her... her little monster...
telling people how it is while getting your way constantly the moment you spoke demanding a word.
'stomp all over them.. down deep into the ground before they get the chance to do it to you!' she'll exclaim in a annoyed tone

mother dearest might get just what she wants... as always.. and yet again
i ought to draw it out that side of me.. and embrace it

anyways just kinda tossing out what ever popped into my head at the moment.. :/
probably doesn't even make sense and i don't really care..
_______________________________________
I enjoyed listening to Celldweller - Own Little World while doing this <3 dont know why.. guess in my mind seemed to go how i felt at the time

Mutual sight, Mutual sound
Mutual struggle, for shared ground
It's safe, to say, they'll try to take from me
I'm just another one for them to break down

Steeped in denial, the daily grind
Dream of a world for me and my kind
It's safe in the alternative reality
So stick your standards where the sun doesn't shine

They're for themselves, it doesn't matter what they say
Promise the world then take it from you anyway
They'll break you down making your vision fadeaway
It's time to go: get outta my space

Welcome to a world where the air I breathe is mine
Nothing to overwhelm me and nothing to cloud my mind
Be anyone, do anything I'd ever want to try
Time doesn't exist here, I will never die

Explain the reasons, Explain the rhymes
It's not required, inside our minds
It's safe to try, no need to justify
Or take their guilt trip at the end of the line.

They're for themselves, it doesn't matter what they say
Promise the world then take the universe away
They'll break you down making your vision fadeaway
It's time to go: get off of my case

Welcome to a world where the air I breathe is mine
Nothing to overwhelm me and nothing to cloud my mind
Be anyone, do anything I'd ever want to try
Time doesn't exist here

Slip into a world where the air I breathe is mine
Nothing to overwhelm me and nothing to cloud my mind
Come with me into it and you know what you will find
Time doesn't exist here, we will never die

(My Own Little World)

They're for themselves, it doesn't matter what they say
It's time to go: get out of my face

Welcome to a world where the air I breathe is mine
Nothing to overwhelm me and nothing to cloud my mind
Be anyone, do anything I'd ever want to try
Time doesn't exist here

Slip into a world where the air I breathe is mine
Nothing to overwhelm me and nothing to cloud my mind
Come with me into it and you know what you will find
Time doesn't exist here, we will never die