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More from Rakudai
I don't always openup completely, telling the truth, being me.
But I've done so three times, and all the times, they have promised me that they will stay, and not abandon me.
First time, I didn't have a "bad" background, I was me. We had lots of fun and we were really tight. But after about three years, she said "I'm too much" and "I have grown up from you".
I was a mess, and so depressed, met someone, she was the one who broke my walls, and learned about my deepest fears, my worries, my dreams. I could be myself and she said she would always be there, and help me, as I was there for her. Then suddenly, she just breaks it of by not saying anything to me, ignoring me.
This time. I met someone new who picked me up when I was really low. She accepted me for who I was, she and I did alot of crazy things. We talked about everything, we didn't meet that often, but always spoke on skype, texts, kik and so on. after three years, I confesed I had feelings for her, she said she had wanted to confess years ago. We are still good friends, and become somewhat lovers. then it happens again. I am being ignored, frozen out. and I don't know what I did wrong this time.
I have met this new awesome guy, I really like him, and I think he likes me too. I haven't confessed yet. And I am not sure I will, because breakups are the worst fucking thing I know. Mostly the ones where I'm being ignored until I go away. I am just afraid he will leave me the way everyone else has.
I have so many flaws. trust issues, bipolar, too hyper, loud, emotional, naive.
I'm not really pretty, I'm not thin, my voice isn't cute, I don't have any special talents.
When I fall, I fall with all my heart, I am like a dog. Loyal, and even when people hurt me, I still love them and come back to their sides.
I hate myself for not being able to like even a small part of myself
I am sorry for the long spam, I just had to vent somewhere
But I've done so three times, and all the times, they have promised me that they will stay, and not abandon me.
First time, I didn't have a "bad" background, I was me. We had lots of fun and we were really tight. But after about three years, she said "I'm too much" and "I have grown up from you".
I was a mess, and so depressed, met someone, she was the one who broke my walls, and learned about my deepest fears, my worries, my dreams. I could be myself and she said she would always be there, and help me, as I was there for her. Then suddenly, she just breaks it of by not saying anything to me, ignoring me.
This time. I met someone new who picked me up when I was really low. She accepted me for who I was, she and I did alot of crazy things. We talked about everything, we didn't meet that often, but always spoke on skype, texts, kik and so on. after three years, I confesed I had feelings for her, she said she had wanted to confess years ago. We are still good friends, and become somewhat lovers. then it happens again. I am being ignored, frozen out. and I don't know what I did wrong this time.
I have met this new awesome guy, I really like him, and I think he likes me too. I haven't confessed yet. And I am not sure I will, because breakups are the worst fucking thing I know. Mostly the ones where I'm being ignored until I go away. I am just afraid he will leave me the way everyone else has.
I have so many flaws. trust issues, bipolar, too hyper, loud, emotional, naive.
I'm not really pretty, I'm not thin, my voice isn't cute, I don't have any special talents.
When I fall, I fall with all my heart, I am like a dog. Loyal, and even when people hurt me, I still love them and come back to their sides.
I hate myself for not being able to like even a small part of myself
I am sorry for the long spam, I just had to vent somewhere
Category All / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 938 x 1280px
File Size 340.3 kB
Yeah, I know right? Just wake up one day to find out they blocked and removed you everywhere, without a single reason what so ever, and they believe they're so right in doing it. I'm so glad I've found better people in my life these days than to worry about such bothersome people any more.
And you're quite welcome <3
And you're quite welcome <3
It's worst when you've given these people things, that they can never return to you, or even have ever tried to return the favor for, but oh well. I have only 3 internet friends, and 2 real life friends who mean a lot to me, and I like my little circle of friends, they mean a lot to me too, I'm glad you got some shoulders to lean on yourself.
You sound just like me. I'm emotional, depressed, sometimes cranky, I have a really hot and cold personality sometimes.
Sometimes I want to surround myself with people, sometimes I just want to be left alone.
I'm really loud and boisterous in groups, and typically I try to make things fun for everyone.
But at the same time I'm really bad at letting people in because I'm so protective of myself,
and at the same time there's this constant feeling of "Why would people want to talk to me? Why would anyone want to be friends with me?
And unfortunately it makes it really difficult to get close to people online as well as offline.
You're lucky to have the friends you do have IRL, I don't have any.
Between moving away for 5 years then coming back and no longer really knowing anybody here.. It's lonely.
I spend my time each day sitting in my apartment on the computer, most of my interactions being on a chat-site and skype group I'm in, haha.
Sometimes, friendship is better than a relationship. You have to be friends with someone before you can be in a relationship with them,
and it is extremely disgraceful to just ignore someone as a way of breaking up with them. That is complete cowardice.
I wouldn't recommend rushing into a relationship right now. You may not like this term, but you're fragile. Delicate in an emotional way.
Being in a relationship with someone isn't what you need right now, and of course this is just my opinion, but:
I think that you need to "do you", basically, do things for yourself, love yourself.
You need to be able to love yourself before you love others.
Dress in clothes that make you feel good/sexy. Eat your favorite foods.
Play video games, watch anime, listen to music. Whatever makes you feel good.
I'm of the opinion that people need to love themselves, or at least accept themselves before they can love others.
You have this issues with yourself, there's only a couple ways to fix that. Either accept them or change them.
I'm a big girl, but I'm comfortable with it. I'll admit that I do want to lose weight, but at the same time it isn't a huge issue to me.
I'm not particularly attractive, but I'm not particularly unattractive either. I'm incredibly "normal"-looking. I accept that.
I suppose my worst issue is my anxiety/fear, that I'm never going to amount to anything,
that I might not be able to walk without assistance when I'm 30 or 40, things like that. :c
Loyalty is not a bad thing; it does end up getting us hurt at times, but there are a lot of rewards for being loyal as well.
Not just in relationships, but to your friends and family too. It means you love them and will protect them as much as you can.
It is a very valuable and admirable trait, and one that too often people are lacking.
I do want to tell you though, that you are a beautiful person, from the things I've seen here.
I'll admit that I don't know a lot about you, for obvious reasons, but from what I do know you:
1. are a really cool artist
2. have a good head on your shoulders
3. are VERY pretty in the images you have in your scraps (you have gorgeous expressive eyes, and an adorable nose)
4. you are generally a pretty damn awesome person
You are precious, girl. And you should feel it. You are a human being, just like everyone else.
Hell, you're better than everyone else because YOU are YOU, you have control over your life, nobody else does.
Take care of yourself; and remember that love isn't a bad thing, but it isn't a crutch to make you feel better about yourself either.
(I'm sorry for having prattled on so long, but seeing this image and your words made me want to reach out to you.)
Sometimes I want to surround myself with people, sometimes I just want to be left alone.
I'm really loud and boisterous in groups, and typically I try to make things fun for everyone.
But at the same time I'm really bad at letting people in because I'm so protective of myself,
and at the same time there's this constant feeling of "Why would people want to talk to me? Why would anyone want to be friends with me?
And unfortunately it makes it really difficult to get close to people online as well as offline.
You're lucky to have the friends you do have IRL, I don't have any.
Between moving away for 5 years then coming back and no longer really knowing anybody here.. It's lonely.
I spend my time each day sitting in my apartment on the computer, most of my interactions being on a chat-site and skype group I'm in, haha.
Sometimes, friendship is better than a relationship. You have to be friends with someone before you can be in a relationship with them,
and it is extremely disgraceful to just ignore someone as a way of breaking up with them. That is complete cowardice.
I wouldn't recommend rushing into a relationship right now. You may not like this term, but you're fragile. Delicate in an emotional way.
Being in a relationship with someone isn't what you need right now, and of course this is just my opinion, but:
I think that you need to "do you", basically, do things for yourself, love yourself.
You need to be able to love yourself before you love others.
Dress in clothes that make you feel good/sexy. Eat your favorite foods.
Play video games, watch anime, listen to music. Whatever makes you feel good.
I'm of the opinion that people need to love themselves, or at least accept themselves before they can love others.
You have this issues with yourself, there's only a couple ways to fix that. Either accept them or change them.
I'm a big girl, but I'm comfortable with it. I'll admit that I do want to lose weight, but at the same time it isn't a huge issue to me.
I'm not particularly attractive, but I'm not particularly unattractive either. I'm incredibly "normal"-looking. I accept that.
I suppose my worst issue is my anxiety/fear, that I'm never going to amount to anything,
that I might not be able to walk without assistance when I'm 30 or 40, things like that. :c
Loyalty is not a bad thing; it does end up getting us hurt at times, but there are a lot of rewards for being loyal as well.
Not just in relationships, but to your friends and family too. It means you love them and will protect them as much as you can.
It is a very valuable and admirable trait, and one that too often people are lacking.
I do want to tell you though, that you are a beautiful person, from the things I've seen here.
I'll admit that I don't know a lot about you, for obvious reasons, but from what I do know you:
1. are a really cool artist
2. have a good head on your shoulders
3. are VERY pretty in the images you have in your scraps (you have gorgeous expressive eyes, and an adorable nose)
4. you are generally a pretty damn awesome person
You are precious, girl. And you should feel it. You are a human being, just like everyone else.
Hell, you're better than everyone else because YOU are YOU, you have control over your life, nobody else does.
Take care of yourself; and remember that love isn't a bad thing, but it isn't a crutch to make you feel better about yourself either.
(I'm sorry for having prattled on so long, but seeing this image and your words made me want to reach out to you.)
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