I love seeing d&d stories.

The second story is more like how my dnd adventures go. I like making it realistic, gruesome, and painful for the characters. The players seem to enjoy it.

As a GM, I've learnt that there is nothing more painful than a chucklefuck who is trying his best to force comedy into a game.

Makes me laugh that I have encountered this in high school. Way too true!

If you're guts were hanging out, I think that's be less than 1HP
...like -49%HP

Also, using one wolf to beat another to death, that isn't funny... that's badass!

I think the going rule for good D&D sessions is "It was awesome, but you had to be there!"

Remember me that time where our assassin fisted a hobgoblin. With his katars. Then he cut off his head, kept it as a hand puppet, and anal vored it to another hobgoblin.

...Now I remember why I was mostly drunk at D&D games. XD

And I thought Concession was random as hell and had a kudzu plot!

I remember one game where a friend's character replaced his arm with an octopus that in our story slowly took over his brain, until in the battles, he ended up fighting as an octopus with a human attached to his head by the wrist. Very strange attacks he invented.
This wasn't D&D, another RPG game system my cousin invented in his spare time... very freeform.

Heh, there's a french RP named INS/MV (In Nomine Satanis/Magna Veritas) where you chose to play either a demon (INS) or an angel (MV). I was playing a demon of Kobal, Lord of er...dark humor? (I'm not sure of how it's called in english but you know, the humor when you joke about death, suffering and atrocities?)

He gained some fame in hell because of what has been called the "Cinderella File".

He took the appearence of a gay teenager in a big high school, and befriended the least popular girl possible.

Then everything went as in those teen movies, where the girls changes her look to become beautiful (usually by removing her glasses, but meh), gains confidence due to her friend and becomes the prom's queen.

And the night of the bal, my demon told her: and be back before midnight, Cinderella.

They laughed at it, and she went to the bal where she became the queen, dated the most beautiful guy of the school and all those rubbishes.

And then, at midnight...

HER TAMPON TURNED INTO A PUMPKIN! HAHAHAHAHAHA*insert the rest of the long maniac laughing here*

They've laughed about it in hell for years XD

I only speak a little latin and no french, thanks for the translation ^^"
Black humor or Dark Humor, "sick and twisted?" You got it, that's the phrase.
......

Damn, you have a wonderfully twisted mind. <3

Thank you, I put lots of effort into it o/

I love imagining her hip bones exploding from the inside... that's a hell of a demon curse! (I respect the effort, my translations are bad!)

i have a friend who has DnD stories that make most people go O-O it's always fun to see there reactions

Hate DND buuut

Gotta say these two exist in typical medieval RP communities as well.

Theres always a gore fanatic who isnt having fun unless hes disemboweling someone and picking fights

And theres always someone who has something fucking stupid like magic fart attack cause they think they're hilarious.

And barely anyone enjoys actually creating a legitimate story.

This is basically me and one of my co-workers, me being the sort that loves a good narrative and getting through a scrape by the skin of our teeth, and him being the kind that aims for absurdist power fantasies. And he wonders why I have declined to join his campaign...