Wow...just...wow. It sorta leaves you speechless....

Wonderful work on going through every moment, every phase. I've never been drunk before, never passed out...and in reading this I hope I never will. It's a mixture of both discomfort and distaste but as always, the way you make things so interesting, I wanted to know what was going to occur next.

Thanks, Grrr. Like you, I've never been anywhere near this guy's position. I had to use experiences related to me by co-workers and accounts from other stories. I can't even really imagine doing this kind of thing to myself.

Woh, very powerful and gripping, with fine descriptive passages. I could feel his pain. Are you going to do more with this character? He seems nice and deep and interesting.

Thank ye! Glad you liked it.

As for using him again: no. He's a drunk. A wicked drunk who's driven off his significant other. He's not nice and not deep (at least not here). He might be interesting in as far as how he got to be this way, but I've met too many people like him to want to glorify his messed up life. I didn't villify him in this because I didn't want to confuse things.

Do you want him?

And of course I always forget to thank folks for favs!

Nicely done, especially the descriptions and pacing.

*bows* Thank you, Miss Tigress.

Interesting....
Storms seem to bring out the worst in people, if all these creepy prompts are any indication.

this was so incredibly powerful Wire... I loved it... but I feel so bad for him... and so, in that, you succedded quite well...

*gives him a two thumbs up hug...

V.

Thank you very much, Miss Vixyy. I don't think I've ever had the pleasure of a 'two thumbs up hug' before.

*hugs him again for good measure... now... tell him AA works... *smiles...

V.

*chuckles* Sure thing. I'll just make sure he doesn't have any more vodka bottles to throw before I mention it.

Nice! Yeah very well written there. :) I've sadly been around people like that so can relate to the unseen Nebima character. Just to throw a critique at you, as you so kindly do for me, the moment where he gets up off the ground and stumbles to the back door seemed to happen a little quick. Maybe needed a few more lines of how he felt or the lumbering to the back door or something. But then I don't write, so. :D

I had meant for that to go quickly, to show how the effect of realizing Nebima was gone could get him moving without regard for how messed up his body was. Re-reading it now, I think you're right. I should have made him get up quickly, try to run to the door and fail due to the state he was in. Making him crawl from the yard to the door in uncertain panic would have been even more effective.

Ah, well. Thanks for the crit!

Oh that's a good idea! :) The fall aggravating the cuts on his hand but ignoring them. Ouch. Hehe.

Interesting. Strong. A bit enigmatic in the beginning, but it is an interesting read to gather the happenings of the last night with the protagonist. Rather interesting experience, first I felt sorry for him, but slowly just started to think it served him right. Great little piece, I enjoyed reading this.

I think out of all the excellent feelings in this piece, the slow dawning realization that his rock, his Nebima, wasn't there anymore, was the best part. I mean, you've got him first coming back to consciousness, recognizing pains, where he is, and then trying to piece everything together. It's the slowness of everything that works so well in this one. :3

I really liked the opening, and then you slowly build the story up piece by piece, like revealing a picture puzzle. And it was the little things too that really stood out; the cuts on his fingerpads, the dirt in his sheath, the slow realization of where he was, and then how long he'd been there. Very, very well done. You sir, are quite talented.

I've never been in that position, of coming into consciousness layer by layer, not knowing where you are or what you've done. I figured it must be like coming out of the anesthetic after a surgery. As you slowly come awake, more and more stuff hurts or doesn't respond like it used to. Glad you liked it!

Again, your rich description really brings the setting and the character to life. The way he wakes up and goes through all the stages to realization is very visceral.
There's a couple typos:
"He'd be damned if he'd let anyone who might be nearby how bad off he was." -- is missing the word "know".

"Litteraly" -- should be "literally"

Whoops. I'll try to get those fixed at some point. Thanks for pointing them out. I must not have run this one through a word processor as I usually do.
And I'm glad you enjoyed it. I've read this kind of scene (where someone wakes up confused) so many times I decided I wanted to try my own hand at it, just to see if I could do it well.

i think i wouldnt mind a bad night under the rain but the note she left that would have killed me

nice story ^^

Thanks, glad you liked it. And yeah, getting a 'Dear John' note like that must be rough.