Dated 05/01/2014

REXAR: It was getting late. Most of the guys had already left the party. The rest of us had gathered into a few small groups dotted around the club. It had been a long season, and now everyone on the team was just chilling out looking forward to our summer break.

Carl was still outside the door talking on the phone. Hopefully he wasn't going to be too much longer as I'd had a few drinks and was getting keen to call it a night myself. Thankfully the music had quietened down a bit by now, so I had a quick chat with a couple of the coaches and then headed to the bar for one last drink.

Then I spotted Mike. He was sitting in the other corner of the club on his own. I wasn't sure how long he'd been there.

"Hey, there you are," I said, walking over to the table. "I wondered where you'd got to!"

He glanced up at me with a shy smile. "Heh... yeah, I'm still here, Rex," he muttered, taking a sip of his orange juice. "Where's Carl?"

"Ah, he's just out front on his phone," I said. "He'll be back in a minute. I'm thinking of probably heading back to the house soon anyway if that's okay with you?"

"That's fine, Rex."

He seemed quiet. I stood there for a moment, just watching him sitting there hunched forward, looking down at his glass as he idly swirled the juice around the sides. It was obvious he had something on his mind.

"Are you okay, pup?" I asked.

"Yeah..." he sighed. "I'm fine."

I slid round the table and sat down next to him. "You sure? You seem... a bit down or something."

He sat quietly for a second, still looking down at his glass. He shook his head slightly. "Nah... it's nothing."

"Hey, no, come on. What is it?" I asked.

"It's nothing, I... I don't really want to bother you with it."

I shifted over, leaning back and resting my arm on the chair behind him. "It's no bother to me," I said. "You're my buddy. Come on. What's up?"

He let out another sigh, slowly putting his drink down on the table before dropping back into the seat. He looked up and around the club cautiously, as if to check everyone else was still far away.

"I just... I dunno," he puffed. "Do you ever get the feeling you're sorta... behind everyone else?"

"What do you mean, pup?"

He shifted in the seat, still glancing around to check nobody was listening. "It's like, sometimes I come to parties like this, and I look around, and I see all these guys my age... and they've got girlfriends, wives, some of them even kids... and y'know, I'm... I'm just some lonely guy who's out of work, and relying on a friend to give me somewhere to live."

I shifted a little closer, putting my hand on his shoulder. Mike had been through a bit of a rough year, losing his job and then having to leave his home. I did feel for him.

"Well... y'know you staying at my place is not a problem to me, Mike," I said. "And besides... life's not a race or anything. You don't have to have all that stuff now. Just because other guys might already have it, doesn't mean you can't. You'll find work again sometime soon, then you'll start getting back on your feet. And then who knows?"

"I know," he said. "I just... I know I'll probably get another job eventually, and find somewhere, but... sometimes, Rex, I'm... honestly not sure if I ever will find anyone."

I chuckled a little. "Hey, come on," I said. "Everybody goes through those thoughts, Mike. I know I have. I mean, come on - I'm a few years older than you, and yeah, I'm with Carl at the moment, but we've only been going out for a few months. It's not like I've really settled down yet myself, y'know? It takes time."

He leant forward and picked up his drink again, clutching the glass as he gently ran his finger around the rim. I could tell he didn't much like to talk about this sort of thing.

"Besides," I added, "if you really wanna meet someone, you've just got to take a shot, y'know? There were lots of girls here tonight, if you'd been up for meeting somebody."

He chuckled nervously. "I dunno about all that, Rex," he said. "I guess I've always preferred the idea of going out with someone I already knew, if you know what I mean... I don't think I'm the sort of person that can just chat people up like that - I've just... I've never really been any good in an environment like this, y'know? I've never really liked parties that much."

I glanced down for a moment. I felt a bit guilty really. I knew Mike wasn't all that keen on parties, and I almost wondered whether I should've brought him along tonight. I thought he'd enjoy getting to know some of the guys on the team and spending some time away from all his worries about jobhunting and looking for a place, but they were pretty different people and I think he found it hard to fit in. I'd certainly never intended on leaving him sitting alone in a corner like this.

"Well you never know," I said. "One day, you might meet a girl who you'll feel you just have to seize the chance with."

He chuckled again. "I'm not sure, Rex," he muttered. "Sometimes I wonder if anyone would ever really want to go out with me."

"Why not, pup?"

"I dunno. I'm hardly the most interesting guy in the world, or the best looking."

I frowned. "Why d'you say that?"

"Well look at me," he scoffed. "I'm not like these other guys here tonight from your team, am I? They're all, like, big athletes and everything."

I shook my head and smiled. "I don't see what difference that makes," I said. "Hell, I mean, I know I might not be who you wanna hear it from, but... as far as I'm concerned, I've always thought you were really cute."

Mike suddenly jolted back in his seat.

"...what did you say?"

I stopped. The smile fell off my face. He was glaring at me. He looked shocked, almost nervous.

I turned my head away. What a stupid thing to say. I knew I'd had a few drinks but I don't know why the hell I'd thought that was a smart thing to blurt out. The poor guy was feeling uncomfortable enough without suddenly having his gay friend seemingly coming onto him in some drunken stupor.

"W... well I didn't mean... I... anyway, that... that's not the point," I gabbled.

He was still staring at me. And I'd still got my arm round his back too. I don't know what must've been going through his head by now. I had to say something.

"Er... s... sorry, Mike," I stuttered, pulling my arm away. "I've... I've had a bit to drink, my head's a bit... y'know. I'm not trying t... anyway, what I meant..."

He slowly sat back in the seat. I sighed, taking a moment to breathe again.

"Agh... come on, Mike," I said. "You... you can't think like that, you just can't. And, you know it's not... it's not about what you look like. Besides, you're a different kind of person from these guys, y'know? And..."

I looked back over at the other guys in the opposite corner. They were still busy drinking and chatting away.

"Frankly, I'm kinda glad you are, Mike," I said. "I mean... the guys on the team are great, but it's nice for me to have a friend like you who's about totally different stuff, y'know? You're smarter, you're quieter, you're more thoughtful, you're... you're a great guy, Mike. And someday... you're gonna meet a girl who will see that too."

He looked back down at his glass. I knew I'd probably said too much already.

"I'm sorry, pup," I said. "I'm... probably not making much sense now. I think the drink's getting to me."

Suddenly I heard the door swing open. Carl was coming back in. Probably just as well - I was better off not having another drink.

I turned back to Mike. "Hey," I said. "D'you wanna finish up that drink and we'll walk back?"

He looked up. "Okay," he said.

I gave him a little pat on the back as he quickly downed the last of the juice. With that, I went over to Carl and we said goodnight to the other guys. It sounded like they were going to stick around for a while longer yet.

Hopefully Mike wasn't going to remember too much from tonight. To be honest, by the morning, I was hoping I wouldn't either.


****************************************

Rexar & Mike: Snapshots - List of episodes in full:
M - mature rating | A - adult rating
(List last updated 30/12/2015)

Admiration (M)
Lost Opportunity
Out Of The Crowd
Moment Of Weakness
Revelations, Pt.I
Revelations, Pt.II
Couch
Exploration (M)
Reciprocation

---

Here's me kicking off 2014 nice and early with the third piece in the Snapshots series. As mentioned on the last instalment, while I don't intend for the pictures/stories in this series to represent a strict timeline in the long run, I wanted to use the first few images as a means of revealing the background behind the relationship between Rexar and Mike.

As you have no doubt already noticed, this is the first story to be told from the perspective of Rexar. Given that I'd spent so many years in my early days in the fandom simply drawing Rex in the form of a giant comic villain tormenting smaller creatures and rampaging-a-plenty, I've since been battling to dislodge that image from the forefront of everyone's perceptions of the character to bring them more in line with my own. In my mind nowadays, Rexar is an ordinary guy in most aspects, but one who is uniquely special in Mike's eyes.

This snapshot has been in my head for a while. And on the back of the last couple of instalments revealing Mike's thoughts, there is a certain amount of dramatic irony intended in portraying Rexar's thoughts here, oblivious at this point to what his supposedly straight friend is feeling. Of course, we all know where it's going - but it's nice if the characters don't,



Much like 'Lost Opportunity', the workload and essence of this picture was about 90% lighting and shading. I wanted to convey an image of inside a club or bar late at night, but I attempted to give it a calmer, quieter feel, as if Rexar and Mike are sharing a private discussion in one dimly-lit corner of the room after the bulk of the evening's partygoers had moved on. As ever, there are various things I'm a little dissatisfied with: I wanted to position Rexar's visible hand in such a way as to be expressing himself in conversation, but his arm proved an irritating nuisance from this perspective and I couldn't really be bothered with it. Mike's pose didn't come out right either, as I had wanted to rest his arms on his thighs but ended up drawing his legs too low and didn't realise my mistake until surprisingly late. Plus I've no idea what's going on with his right arm either. Damned perspective.



There'll be plenty more to come in this series, of course - including stuff that is far less 'tame'. But all in good time, as they say.




RRRex