"You forgot our anniversary, again! We’ve been together for five years now, so you'd think the date would be etched into your big fat head by now. I swear if you don't go out and buy me wine, chocolate, flowers, and the really cute earrings I've wanted I'll rip your face off."

Leeroy sighed. He was the poster boy of why to always wear protection. He played around with a girl he just met, and he happened to get her pregnant. He would have been fine paying alimony checks, but their son needed a father. It didn't help Jane's father was head of CIA. He had no choice but to marry her.

Oftentimes he wished he had chosen to disappear.

--

I went out with a couple of my old high-school friends for a New Year's Eve party. I gave this to one of my girl friends(never dated) citing this is what would happen if we got married. Everyone found it a riot, except her of course. She subsequently beat me to a bloody pulp. Good times.