This is a story I was inspired to write by a dream. This is only the first chapter. The story is based loosely, very loosely on my life. Critique is welcomed.

Tables

Day 1

Lunch ~ 11:40 A.M.


After moments of waiting, I finally reach the lunch window, where the gloriously mediocre food is kept, or cages rather, as if the food might at any moment attempt to break free of their wrapped captivity, and stage a rebellion against the mercilous paws of the lunch line workers. My gaze passes over such school delicasies as pale gray pizza, cold leftover sandwiches, and salad one can only assume has been sprayed with chemicles of unknown origin. I look up and see the male wolf workin the line, his face sporting a grim frown matched only by the frown of those destined to work the chain gang for some unforgivable crime. Stifling a look of disgust in my mind's eye, I quielty inform him of the food I want, speaking softly as if I am embarassed and want none to hear my choice.

"One spicy burger and a bottle of strawberry milk," I say, adding a whispered "please" as an afterthought. He does his work in silence, placing on my tray a wrapped burger and the bottle of milk. I continue on to the salad bar, hoping, hoping...No! No pudding. I surpress a whimper, my ears dropping from the radar position to a more droopy one. I grab a few pickles with the tongs carelessly tossed onto the bar, almost dipping into the salsa. Gathering my pickle army, I move on. Finally, having traversed the near fatal lunch gauntlet, I reach the condiment box. Reaching one paw into the box, I grab a few packets of mayo, and begin walking towards a table at the far end of the room. Seated at the table were mostly females, and two males. The disadvantage of choosing a table at the far end, is that I must walk past many other tables, trying to ignore the various looks I fear I may receive as I walk past. But, a fair trade, for I get to sit near the windows and the exit. I just keep my muzzle up high, looking towards the chosen table, and the furs sitting at it.

I have just moved here from Canada. I was in a big city, and moving to a small remote town in Rhode Island is a big change for me, not to mention having to convert from metrics to this foreign "miles" system. But, we had to move, because it's illegal to change your gender, and I couldn't live as a male red panda any longer. I want to be a female wah, not a male one. So my mom arranged the next best thing and we moved here. She did this, without my dad realizing the true reason. The only way to restart my life, even if not totally. Now I am living as a female here, even if I haven't gone through the change. Luckily, I look feminine enough to pass without having to change anything about myself.

After what seems like forever, my trek ends and I reach the table, and sit down at the end of the table, placing my tray in front of me. The vixen next to me scoots over a little, giving me some more room. I look down at my tray and begin the unwrap my burger, but I can feel the heat of the stares the other furs at the table give to me. Oh please don't let them see through me, oh please oh please oh please.

"Hey," a cat sitting across from me says, "You must be that new female that moved here from Canada, I've heard about you from some of the other students. I like your hair, you'll have to show me how you get it to stay flat like that, mine always poofs up a bit."

I give her a broad smile in response. Finally, I'm a girl! Finally, I'll be accepted for who I am.

"What's your name?"

I freeze in fear. I'm still not comfortable with my voice, so I have been trying not to talk if I can avoid it. But, they might think I'm weird if I don't say something. And, right as I am about to answer, reluctantly,-

"Aw, it's okay if you're shy, we'll just call you Canada." After that, she turns her attention back to the other furs at the table, and I give her a silent "Thank you." I quickly re-examine the furs at the table. There is a female rabbit, a bear, a ferret, the cat I had talked to earlier, a fox, and a male ferret and kangaroo. I carefully set my pickles onto the spicy burger, and I slowly, and softly, squeeze some mayo onto the burger as well. Finished, I replace the the top the burger and take a small testing bite.

It tastes good.

~

Dinner ~ 5:30 P.M.

Sitting at my place, I wait for my mom and grandma to bring the food to the table. I glance at a nearby mirror, and notice a hint of eye shadow. I quickly rub it off, hoping that my grandparents hadn't noticed. When I get home I switch back to boy-mode, as they don't approve of my wanting to be a girl. My mom is a thin red panda like me, and so is my grandfather. However, my grandmother is a near-obese hyena. Grandmother brings the pot to the table. Soup! My mom claims that she learned everything about making soup from her mother, so this soup should be absolutely delicious. I love, love my mom's cooking.

I greedily grab the large spoon sticking out of the pot and begin to fill my bowl with the broth and meat. The smell rising off of it fills me with joy, and I dip my spoon into the bowl to get my first bite, the first of many to come. Closer to my muzzle, closer, closer...blech!

"How is it?" My grandmother asks.

"Delicious!" I say, too fast and too soon, but, luckily, no one seems to notice. I could never imagine my mom being so wrong about someone elses cooking. Immediately regret filling my bowl with the slop, my manners don't allow me to return it to the pot, and I can't just leave it in the bowl. I'll have to eat it all. "How was school, dear?" My mom asks, and I can see that my grandmother barely retains the look of disgust on her face. I don't know why she is like this, she says she loves me but I'm not blind, I see how she feels. I'll just have to make her see that she can still love my as a girl! I love her, and she'll realize everything is okay.

"It was good, I think I may of even made friends, on my first day too!" As I say that, my sister walks to the table, settling down at the seat near me. She is a wolf, like my father. I think she hates me, and she doesn't know about my girl self. My mom only told my grandparents as a precautionary measure. My other sister, who lives in North Carolina knows. I miss her. My brother, like my dad, doesn't know either. My mom thinks it's best to keep it a secret for now, and I am inclined to agree with her. My dad and brother are still in Canada, but will be moving down here to be with us sometime in the summer. I only hope dad becomes more accepting to these things, he has a bit of a temper, being the wolf that he is. But, he has stopped drinking so that my help matters. In any case, I have plenty of time to not worry about that. Maybe I'll even get closer to my sister.

"That's good," says Mom, "I'm glad things are going well for you. I'm sure you'll love it here, dear."

"I think I will too, Mom."

I continue to sink down the soup, hoping I won't get sick. Even the spam tastes bad, and that is always delicious. I silently long for the lunch room food, even that would be better than downing the soup in this bowl. But, I finish it off, making sure I bite my tongue when Grandmother offers a second serving. That's the last thing I need. Luckily none of the teachers gave me any home work, it being my first day here and all. So, I can spend the rest of the day playing some video games with my sister, and maybe we'll get closer.

~

Late Night Munchies ~ 10:30 P.M.

My Grandfather, Grandmother, and Mom have all gone to bed, so I am getting ready for bed as well, for another long day at school. My sister has also gone to bed, lying on the couch, snoring slightly. This house is so small that we don't even have our own rooms, we sleep in the living room. Back in Canada we had our own rooms and so much more. Oh well. I get up and walk towards the kitchen, making a bee-line straight for the fridge. Reaching into the bottom drawer, I pull out a piece of cake from the other day, and stick it in the microwave, on a plate. I heat it up for a few seconds, and then pull out, taking large bites. At least the taste of that soup was gone now. I'll have to get to know the people at my table more tomorrow, maybe then I can find some happiness here, after moving away from all my friends and the city. The cake feels good for my heart, and I soon finish that off, returning to my blankets and pillows on the floor, and after a while, I sleep.