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Story / Inflation
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WARNING: THIS STORY CONTAINS INFLATION AND A SONG. RUN WHILE YOU CAN.
This took me months to write. I usually write something, and if it doesn't "feel" right or "sit" well with me, then I'll rewrite it until I'm satisfied. In addition to a whooooooooooooole bunch of IRL stuff getting in the way, this chapter just wouldn't sit well with me, and I have no idea why. It would always seem to devolve into inane dialogue or get too boring, dark, or emotional, and I have the hardest time writing dialogue for Fluttershy. I've re-written it practically from scratch about 5 times, but nothing I can do helps. Oh well. I'm sick of rewriting it and just want to move on; I'll have time to revisit it once the whole story is finished.
Oh, also there's a song. I'm not good at writing songs or making rhymes (looking forward to writing dialogue for Zecora! Ugh.). It is sung to the tune of an actual song, albeit shortened, but I'll refrain from telling you which one because it just might ruin pinkie pie and/or the song for you, and I'm genuinely curious to see if someone figures it out on their own. The double column thing is something I've always wanted to do with a story, but getting it formatted and arranged the way I wanted was the bane of my goddamn existence.
Although I try to keep as close to what I consider canon, and "on-model" characterization as possible, the unique slang that each pony uses (gum drops, leek sauce, fit as a ferret) is something that I mostly came up with, so you'll notice that this is a relatively profane chapter compared to the other ones (at least until Rainbow Dash gets involved).
So, that's pretty much it. I know it can't possibly be worth all the time it took me to deliver, but hopefully it'll tide you over til the next one. I'm just glad to finally wash my hands of this stupid chapter.
Thumbail provided by the ever-wonderful
noctulov
This took me months to write. I usually write something, and if it doesn't "feel" right or "sit" well with me, then I'll rewrite it until I'm satisfied. In addition to a whooooooooooooole bunch of IRL stuff getting in the way, this chapter just wouldn't sit well with me, and I have no idea why. It would always seem to devolve into inane dialogue or get too boring, dark, or emotional, and I have the hardest time writing dialogue for Fluttershy. I've re-written it practically from scratch about 5 times, but nothing I can do helps. Oh well. I'm sick of rewriting it and just want to move on; I'll have time to revisit it once the whole story is finished.
Oh, also there's a song. I'm not good at writing songs or making rhymes (looking forward to writing dialogue for Zecora! Ugh.). It is sung to the tune of an actual song, albeit shortened, but I'll refrain from telling you which one because it just might ruin pinkie pie and/or the song for you, and I'm genuinely curious to see if someone figures it out on their own. The double column thing is something I've always wanted to do with a story, but getting it formatted and arranged the way I wanted was the bane of my goddamn existence.
Although I try to keep as close to what I consider canon, and "on-model" characterization as possible, the unique slang that each pony uses (gum drops, leek sauce, fit as a ferret) is something that I mostly came up with, so you'll notice that this is a relatively profane chapter compared to the other ones (at least until Rainbow Dash gets involved).
So, that's pretty much it. I know it can't possibly be worth all the time it took me to deliver, but hopefully it'll tide you over til the next one. I'm just glad to finally wash my hands of this stupid chapter.
Thumbail provided by the ever-wonderful
noctulov
Category Story / Inflation
Species Horse
Size 120 x 120px
File Size 144 kB
Listed in Folders
Ok, I have some stuff to say.
I have no idea about the song, I probably would have gotten it if I had a rhythm to work with, but as is, nope. Not a bad thing, just saying.
I like this chapter, it surprised me. I did not expect fluttershy to be in it at all. That was a pleasant surprise. very nice. Pinkie sure went crazy near the end there didn't she, lol.
I like it, and I'd say more, but I'm still digesting what I just read. I'll say more later after a re-read or two.
I have no idea about the song, I probably would have gotten it if I had a rhythm to work with, but as is, nope. Not a bad thing, just saying.
I like this chapter, it surprised me. I did not expect fluttershy to be in it at all. That was a pleasant surprise. very nice. Pinkie sure went crazy near the end there didn't she, lol.
I like it, and I'd say more, but I'm still digesting what I just read. I'll say more later after a re-read or two.
So I guess that the second chapter is the "rarity" chapter, and the third is the "Pinkie" chapter right? I guess that means that the next chapter is likely the "twilight" chapter. To tell the truth I would've guessed that twilights would've been last. It's good that your not so predictable.
I'm in love with this story. This is my favorite chapter yet, and I thank you for putting so much time and effort into it. I really glad you kept them in character: Fluttershy being reluctant and then resigning to it, and Pinkie openly spouting off about how she does this for fun. Plus, the song was fun. I couldn't guess the tune it was based off of, but it was still fun. (By chance, was it a song by the Ying Yang Twins?)
Three chapters in and I have to admit this one is probably my favorite so far! I love the almost zombie-like mindset of the entirety of Ponyville, and the way you can just tell when a switch has flipped in Pinkie's brain. The whole concept is actually getting pretty creepy (In a good way!), and seeing just how AJ gets herself out of a situation is equally as much fun as... Well, watching her get all blown up.
(It really makes one wonder just what the results would be if that mob of inflation-happy ponies actually got their hooves on her! Needless to say, it's probably for the best that she's able to outwit them.)
Overall, I really appreciate just how entertaining of a story this is. It really feels like the plot comes first here, and as someone who on more than one occasion has just skipped to the 'good parts' while reading, I'm glad to say that I've been reading these from start to finish!
(It really makes one wonder just what the results would be if that mob of inflation-happy ponies actually got their hooves on her! Needless to say, it's probably for the best that she's able to outwit them.)
Overall, I really appreciate just how entertaining of a story this is. It really feels like the plot comes first here, and as someone who on more than one occasion has just skipped to the 'good parts' while reading, I'm glad to say that I've been reading these from start to finish!
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