So I didn't even read your description and I'm looking at the guy in the back thinking that dude better grab onto the f$ckin stern line and hunker his a$s down or he's going to be ejected. I cleared the bow of a expedition this season like a lawn dart when my hand didn't find it. Dropping any big hole you still have to deal with the sudden stop. The only thing R2ing it gets you is when you fly forward there's nobody else to hit. Big sticky holes scare me. I got tossed for 3-5 min in an old slicy playboat several weeks ago. With the sharp edges it was kicking the crap out of me. I was about to bail and finally bounced up and out. Friends thought it was awesome. I thought I was going to drown.

Sotar on lava? That's not gonna last long... Oh it's your bosses? Boof dat lava den.

Luckily I had a lot of practice from running husum falls commercially quite a bit. When we ran Lava, my guys in the front got a good boof and I felt like the impact wasn't as bad as an average husum run. Guides get rocked there all the time though, you really gotta hang on tight!
Peep this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4J17Dk2sqSk&feature=youtu.be

That's hilarious. The one front endo to full arial dump truck was epic. That thing looks like it really stops you and there's a little bit of a toaster slot too it. Seems like it may be luck of the draw even if you hit it right. Some of these if you hit them at a 45' angle you do better than nose on.

It's always a little "dicey," but that video was this seasons "best of" carnage footy. I think I've run it about 500 times in the last 8 years that I've guided it and out of that I've probably swam about 35 times, flipped about 25, and had untold dozens of customers swim. I'd say I run it totally clean about 80% of the time though.

It's a burly rapid to guide commercially, even after so many runs, I always need a butterfly net when I'm waiting for my turn, not knowing what will happen is all part of the fun though, I've front flipped, back flipped, pogo'd, popped out like a fucking poptart and cartwheeled, flipped left over right and right over left, anything can happen it's a perfect chaos generator. I've just learned to hum the indiana jones theme in my head, hang on tight and enjoy whatever violence happens. Even if we don't make it, I try to enjoy the carnage. It really blows peoples minds. You try to explain to your crew how crazy it is going to be, that it's going to feel like a car crash, but no matter what you say they just assume it will be like splash mountain or some ride at disney world and then we all go for it and it blows their mindhole.

Customer: "Does the boat ever come off the track?"
You: *breaks aloud into Indiana Jones Theme*
Customer:

500 times? That's a lot of stick time.

Yeah buddy! Most of the guides at my main company have ten+ years of experience, so even at 8 years running and nearly 1000 trips down the white salmon, I may be a veteran, but I'm not one of the most experienced. Once you start guiding the white salmon it's hard to leave. It runs year round so you can get well over a hundred trips in a season pretty easily.

Oh gawd. By Aug aren't you kind of recreated out. I'm only doing part time stuff now and come Sept people look like they want to shoot themselves at the thought of another commercial trip.

That's why we call it "angry august"

but ya gotta push through that, get your sense of humor back, with a seasoned attitude,

because "sassy september" comes next.

Not that I get many trips this time of year, but there are a few. I guess I really just enjoy the job a lot, the white salmon is truly a special river to guide. It pays 2-3 times better than just about any other job I've had, the scenery is utterly fantastic, and for whatever reason, we don't really seem to get tired of it.