FA+
Shop
255
Views
Views
3
Favorites
Favorites
Category
Story / Fantasy
Species Tiger
Size 50 x 50
File Size 13.8 kB
Report this content
More from Furrywriter
Here is the final version of the first part of my first book. I understand that many of you were having problems viewing it in its full version so I broke it down into several parts, and also put it into paragraphs. Enjoy!
Furrywriter.
Furrywriter.
Category Story / Fantasy
Species Tiger
Size 50 x 50px
File Size 13.8 kB
Finally, it has been released!
There was a problem with the Old version that has not been resolved yet here. When typing dialog, each quote from a different character has its own paragraph.
EXAMPLE:
"What the hell are you doing?!" exclaimed John as he threw his arm up in defense from shrapnel.
"I've no idea at all, just doin' stuff for the halibut"
However, if you break a quote from one charcter into two parts, they remain together in one paragraph.
There was a problem with the Old version that has not been resolved yet here. When typing dialog, each quote from a different character has its own paragraph.
EXAMPLE:
"What the hell are you doing?!" exclaimed John as he threw his arm up in defense from shrapnel.
"I've no idea at all, just doin' stuff for the halibut"
However, if you break a quote from one charcter into two parts, they remain together in one paragraph.
just a few thoughts cuz i think critic is always helpfull.
In chapter six nearly every sentence begins with "John", im not very good at english grammar, but i think this isnt good for the reading flow. Set some "He", "Then", "After" and "While" at the beginning of the sentences, i guess this will help the flow.
The dreams could be more detailed. Dreams are not only what the person dreams, they are processing our feelings in the first way. Give them more feeling =)
The end is a nice cliffhanger, so i have to read the second part for instant now.
I hope I´m not talkin shit here, i just can say what i know from german writing, but i guess its not that different.
bye
Kana
~;-;ò
In chapter six nearly every sentence begins with "John", im not very good at english grammar, but i think this isnt good for the reading flow. Set some "He", "Then", "After" and "While" at the beginning of the sentences, i guess this will help the flow.
The dreams could be more detailed. Dreams are not only what the person dreams, they are processing our feelings in the first way. Give them more feeling =)
The end is a nice cliffhanger, so i have to read the second part for instant now.
I hope I´m not talkin shit here, i just can say what i know from german writing, but i guess its not that different.
bye
Kana
~;-;ò
Comments