Oftentimes, I pick which story to read by the title. Yours jumped out at me as being clever and unusual. Instead of saying something like 'Tobi's Story' or 'Tobi's Journey', you instead used a real title. That instantly showed me that you knew what you were doing.

Most of the time, I'll leave a story within the first or second paragraph; but, I didn't have that problem with yours. I enjoyed reading your beginning because you were showing not telling. For example, instead of saying 'he was scared', you use words like 'cower' or 'whimpered' that portray the emotion amazingly.

The only problem I have in the beginning is that you don't give any names to your characters. It's still readable and it works, but I would have given the fox, Tobi, a name right off the bat. Then, I would have given Fahren his name in the 3rd paragraph. Of course, this is simply my style, so if it doesn't work for you, don't do it.

You have some great dialogue; I especially liked the part where Fahren mentioned he had eaten Tobi's family. But, sometimes it's hard to enjoy because you didn't put enters in-between your paragraphs. This made the story much harder to read, and less appealing to the eye.

I think it was a great idea for you to split the story into multiple segments as it made the story easier to digest. Plus, from lurking, it seems like uploading too much text at once can push people away. (But then again, what do I know? I just joined. :P)

You’re a very good writer, and I can't wait to read the next part. :)

Thanks so much for the feedback, and welcome to FA <3

I won't tell you exactly how I came up with the title (It might be fun to leave that up to the reader's imagination), but I will say that it has something to do with the two political ideologies.

Thank you, I believe that word-choice makes all the difference when writing. Some words can create negative or positive connotations which can be great for creating specific atmospheres and evoking certain emotions within readers.

I'm used to writing in first-person, and in present tense. This is the first time I've tried to write this way so it has a little bit of polishing up to do x3 Usually it's easy to develop characters and introduce them right off the bat within the first paragraphs when writing in first person, but trying something new I wasn't so sure how to do so.

I've never skipped a line in between dialogs before, I usually just go to the new line when it's someone new speaking. But I can see how that can be not so easy on the eye, and I'll definately fix that in part two :3

And yes, it's a little intimidating to view a story and have it be like, reeaaally long x3 And so I figured it would be better to seperate it into smaller parts so that it wouldn't push the readers away from it x3

Thank you so much for the praise, it really means a lot to me <3 Thanks for the feedback and suggestions, I really appreciate it. Also, thanks for taking the time to read it! I hope you continue to enjoy my story as it progresses :3

Thanks for the watch as well :D