And I'm officially a hypocrite.

Got to playing through the Rampage series recently. First time since I was a kid. And you know what? People can talk all they want about their bloody, violent shooting games or their "deep" JRPGs filled with men girly enough to have periods. Give me a controller and a city to destroy, and you can keep me amused just as easily. Besides. Now I see what you macro fans out there find in this stuff.

So. How can I honor such a simple, fun little game?

By making one of the best characters in the game a fifty foot fat-ass. Duh. :B

So yeah. Ralph finds out the effects of eating entire buildings worth of food, innocent men, women and children, the military, allen wrenches, gerbil feeders, toilet seats, electric heaters Trash compactors, juice extractor, shower rods and water meters Walkie-talkies, copper wires safety goggles, radial tires BB pellets, rubber mallets, fans and dehumidifiers Picture hangers, paper cutters, waffle irons, window shutters Paint removers, window louvers, masking tape and plastic gutters Kitchen faucets, folding tables, weather stripping, jumper cables Hooks and tackle, grout and spackle, power foggers, spoons and ladles Pesticides for fumigation, high-performance lubrication Metal roofing, water proofing, multi-purpose insulation Air compressors, brass connectors, wrecking chisels, smoke detectors Tire gauges, hamster cages, thermostats and bug deflectors Trailer hitch demagnetizers, automatic circumcisers Tennis rackets, angle brackets, Duracells and Energizers Soffit panels, circuit brakers, vacuum cleaners, coffee makers
Calculators, generators, matching salt and pepper shakers

This is just a sketch. I do wanna color it, but that'll have to wait for now. If you'd like it done, let me know.

Ralph © Midway.