First of all, I'm glad you have the knack of having your stories upload directly on the page rather than having a download link and/or putting the story in the description. It takes a bit of wrangling because of how FurAffinity works, but you've figured it out, which makes the whole thing look tidier.

I'm not quite sure what "the sun cutting a hole in the dark" means. Is something happening other than the sun rising in the sky? It sounds like your character can only see it through some kind of tunnel, maybe?

"I think it’s the smells that I love the most. The crisp scent of the cornfield. The dampness of the dew. The soft, red smell of the earth. It blends together for me..." This is a fabulous detail, and has drawn me right in. I was concerned that we were starting off with a 'start of a routine working day' situation that a lot of stories start with, and can be quite dull. But this second paragraph lifted the story start very nicely.

"...each scent bleeding onto each other." I think you've mixed your intentions here with the end of this sentence. I think it would either be 'each scent bleeding onto the next' or 'the scents bleeding onto each other'. But it may just be a quirk of how this character speaks/thinks.

"The kid was dresses like he always is." 'dressed'?

"WOOF! It’s an informal greeting, we’re all friends here." This is an adorable line!

The mood is pleasant in this story, and yet occasionally there are hints of dischord:

"Oh, but it's still so nice out right now, can't we have a few more min-Ow, hey! All right, already, I'm coming in, I'm coming in! No need to shove, kid!"

This line, and a few before it, make clear that Collie finds the kid to be a bit overwhelming and irritating at times, but he still likes him and takes pride in his work with the kid. The fact that all is not perfect adds to the story. I think, if you just wrote it so that he loved everything the child did, then this story would be less engaging. As it is, it makes me want to read more to see where Collie finds his reward in doing this work.

Ooh - the dad doesn't like the kid? And you said something before about how the father pushed the point to Collie about being loyal. I want to know what that's about. And I wonder what the deal is, given that Collie appears to be entirely feral (except for his talent for thinking in English language) and yet the father has some kind of beef with him and has tried to drop a subtle hint to him about loyalty.

So far, your storytelling style reminds me of Zen And The Art Of Motorcycle Maintenance.

"After a while he fills up, as so I, and he bounces out of his chair." As do I?

"a child with the attention of a mouse" attention span of a mouse?

"His parent half-rise" parents?

"It tastes like an old alley cat." Collie has wit, I like him!

"...and he deserves a treat." This is an adorable line.

The incident with the boy falling into the creek was... well, I enjoyed it, certainly, and it added drama to the story. I think you handled it well, especially since you only had the scope of showing us what was happening through the eyes of an animal charged with watching him and who has its eyes and ears open every second for the child's welfare.

"He asks me if I hate this as much as he does. I look down at my paws. I bet he gets it. " This sentence makes me think that you're writing Collie as being at the same level of anthropomorphisization as Spirit of the Cimmaron. That seems to fit.

"He scrapes money from rough ground only to pour it into my rate." I think Collie worries too much, but that said, with the tense dynamic of this family, who can blame it?

"I just walk. Forward motion." The walk home is a bit less pleasant than the walk in, eh Collie?

Oh right - so Collie transforms from rough collie to human and back again! That's news to me, I hadn't anticipated that, I thought we were just looking at a slightly anthropomorphisized feral. This explains how he has such a complex deal going with Boss, the Rottweiler, etc.

"Once again, here I am." That's how this story began, isn't it? This sentence makes it clear nice and quickly that this story is bisected in two. Okay, I'm happily settling in for the second half, and I'm eager to learn who else Collie is. Oh - and it carries on in an unpleasant echo of the start of the story. Nice artistry!

"We all feel like mice here, trying to pick our way little crevice into this city." I'm not quite sure what the second half of this sentence is trying to say.

I notice (after the bedtime story) that Collie doesn't talk much, even as a human. I mean, okay, he just told a story, but you didn't show that as speech in quotation marks, which is a nice touch for this story.

"I eventually found myself in a dark, dusty office that looked like a Lovecraft novel exploded in it, with that leering skeleton interviewing me." This is one of those sentences that's so well-written that I had to stop reading for a moment, just to appreciate it.

"...strip out of my clothes! Eep! Early morning breeze! I need fur!" I can quite imagine! Again, you include details about the different senses that Collie experiences through his different senses, and I like that.

I've just realised something: that I know Collie's name when he's in dog form but not when he's in human form. That's an interesting details (or lack thereof) and one I haven't seen since I read Daphne Du Maurier's Rebecca.

"Once or twice, he had me in his room so we could play with his action figures together." Aww! It's sweet because I'm imaginining this kid playing on his own with Collie laying and watching without taking part, and that's all that matters to the kid.

"The moldy tennis balls." Oh, of course he hated having the tennis ball in his mouth! He was a human all along!

"...and Aesop in my heart..." This is another lovely phrase that I enjoyed reading, even though I can't quite explain why.

I've seen (heck, I've written) all sorts of transformation stories, but this is one of the best I've seen. I really like the depth of the story surrounding why our character transforms, the emphasis on that and the ethics of it compared to the focus on the transformation of the body that we see in so many of these fics. I've said before and I'll say again: this is a wonderfully written story!

One last detail: I currently work at a temping agency who specialise (at least in my team) in finding support workers for the elderly, kids with learning difficulties, and anyone else who requires special care. I wonder about our temps sometimes, because I've tried doing care work myself but could never do what they do. Some of them just come to make a quick buck, as you mentioned earlier in this story, but some are genuine, honest-to-goodness carers, all the way through to their bones. What you've written here comes from the heart of a genuine carer. He has to make a living, and he almost feels guilty about doing something he's good at and is passionate about, and earning money doing it. I love his ethical stance on all of this, and the fact that he's struggling to provide this care but is still driven to do it feels very real.

I can't recommend this story highly enough. Wonderful work!

First of all, I'm glad you have the knack of having your stories upload directly on the page rather than having a download link and/or putting the story in the description.
-Thank you!

I'm not quite sure what "the sun cutting a hole in the dark" means. Is something happening other than the sun rising in the sky?
-No, that is exactly what is happening, I just articulated that in an overly poetic way. XD

This is a fabulous detail, and has drawn me right in.
-Another Thank you!

I think you've mixed your intentions here with the end of this sentence. I think it would either be 'each scent bleeding onto the next' or 'the scents bleeding onto each other'. But it may just be a quirk of how this character speaks/thinks.
-That’s good advice, thanks!

'dressed'?
-That’s one of them good-old, fashioned typos. Thanks for pointing it out!

This is an adorable line!
-One of my favorites in the story, haha!

The mood is pleasant in this story, and yet occasionally there are hints of discord:
-I have succeeded!

Ooh - the dad doesn't like the kid?
-Not so much. I come from a family with a lot of mental illness, and he’s just got that defeat to him. He loves his boy entirely, but he desperately wants him to mind, even though he also knows that’s not something he can really hope for.

So far, your storytelling style reminds me of Zen And The Art Of Motorcycle Maintenance.
-I now have a new title to look up.

"After a while he fills up, as so I, and he bounces out of his chair." As do I?
-Typos, just like mama used to make.

"a child with the attention of a mouse" attention span of a mouse?
-Okay, wow. Seriously?

"His parent half-rise" parents?
-These typos are getting pretty inexcusable.

Collie has wit, I like him!
-He’s a clever pooch!

This is an adorable line.
-Thank you!

" This sentence makes me think that you're writing Collie as being at the same level of anthropomorphisization as Spirit of the Cimmaron.
-Little did you know!

I think Collie worries too much, but that said, with the tense dynamic of this family, who can blame it?
-I mentioned my family history, and more than often I have accidentally brushed a family member the wrong way about their children, a brush which subsequently became a gaping amputation and a family feud of Southern Gothic proportions. When children come into play, especially if there’s a hint of something being “wrong” with them, there’s a minefield of emotions at all times.

The walk home is a bit less pleasant than the walk in, eh Collie?
-After a day like this, I wouldn’t blame him!


." That's how this story began, isn't it? This sentence makes it clear nice and quickly that this story is bisected in two. Okay, I'm happily settling in for the second half, and I'm eager to learn who else Collie is. Oh - and it carries on in an unpleasant echo of the start of the story. Nice artistry!
-Thank you! When I came up with this idea when I was…17 ish, I thought the story would just end here. I am glad I kept it going; I think I had the chance to take this to a new, interesting place.

"We all feel like mice here, trying to pick our way little crevice into this city." I'm not quite sure what the second half of this sentence is trying to say.
-Another round of typos. *trying to pick out a little crevice in this city.

I notice (after the bedtime story) that Collie doesn't talk much, even as a human. I mean, okay, he just told a story, but you didn't show that as speech in quotation marks, which is a nice touch for this story.
-I did want to keep the momentum going, show that he was still the same personality in both forms. If he pulled a 180 with fur, it wouldn’t have worked

This is one of those sentences that's so well-written that I had to stop reading for a moment, just to appreciate it.
-That is very kind of you!

Again, you include details about the different senses that Collie experiences through his different senses, and I like that.
-I tried to imagine the practical concerns of changing species around every which way!

I've just realised something: that I know Collie's name when he's in dog form but not when he's in human form. That's an interesting details (or lack thereof) and one I haven't seen since I read Daphne Du Maurier's Rebecca.
-Another book to add. And he DOES have a name in my head, but I felt no need to give him or anyone a name in the story. I even have ideas about his ethnicity and appearance, both of which are in that little illustration, but that was simply to satisfy my own desires. I could see him as any color, shape, make, or model. In short stories, particualy, these fanciful ones, I like getting as attached to a character as I can without having him tied down to a specific design, if that makes sense. And thank you!

Aww! It's sweet because I'm imaginining this kid playing on his own with Collie laying and watching without taking part, and that's all that matters to the kid.
-Given my brief tenure in caring for children, this is 80% of the job, and it is easily the best part.

Oh, of course he hated having the tennis ball in his mouth! He was a human all along!
-Continuity!

is another lovely phrase that I enjoyed reading, even though I can't quite explain why.
-Another I am proud of!

I've seen (heck, I've written) all sorts of transformation stories, but this is one of the best I've seen. I really like the depth of the story surrounding why our character transforms, the emphasis on that and the ethics of it compared to the focus on the transformation of the body that we see in so many of these fics. I've said before and I'll say again: this is a wonderfully written story!
I’ve always loved transformation, though I did want to try out something different than the gigabytes of stories I had seen prior. I am very pleased that I broke the mould a little, and definitely appreciate the support, thank you for reading!


One last detail: I currently work at a temping agency who specialise (at least in my team) in finding support workers for the elderly, kids with learning difficulties, and anyone else who requires special care…What you've written here comes from the heart of a genuine carer.
-I’m sure the work, from everyone’s perspective, it pretty thankless at times. That said, it’s wonderful when the truly motivated and truly caring find purchase in such a field. I get what you mean, I lack the will and soul needed to do such a job, and parts of this are a little love letter to those who can. And it sounds like good work you and your team are doing, best of luck!

I can't recommend this story highly enough. Wonderful work!

And once again, thank you for taking the time to read. I really appreciate the time and effort put into this critique, this will only help me improve further! Have a wonderful day!