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More from Bardawolf
I was asked by a friend about how Kayko came to be who he is. And it occurred to me I'd never written an actual biography on him. So I decided I'd write one up. This contains much of what influenced Kayko's personality, where he was born and how he came to live in Bai-O.
This is still a bit rough but please, enjoy!
This is still a bit rough but please, enjoy!
Category Story / Macro / Micro
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 50 x 50px
File Size 145.4 kB
It's not too bad. At the very least, it establishes the world in which the story takes place, and introduces your character without bogging it down too much.
However, I think the main criticism I would have to bring up is that the pacing feels a bit rushed. It kind of feels like you're trying to cover too many events in your character's backstory in a small amount of space. Maybe cut down the number of events you try to focus on at once. Maybe starting with Kayko at 18, after growing up in Bai-O, then describing the events that led to him finding his powers, his first fight and victory against another macro, which resulted in its death, then meeting up with Nightfall and his villagers and ending it either right before or after the time skip right as he's returning home.
That's just my suggestion, so you don't have to go along with it, but maybe more time focusing on establishing the world, rather than establishing the character's backstory, would be beneficial. I admit, focusing too heavily on characters instead of setting is an issue I have with writing myself, so I'm probably not necessarily the best person to be taking advice from, but I at least hope you'll consider what I've said.
However, I think the main criticism I would have to bring up is that the pacing feels a bit rushed. It kind of feels like you're trying to cover too many events in your character's backstory in a small amount of space. Maybe cut down the number of events you try to focus on at once. Maybe starting with Kayko at 18, after growing up in Bai-O, then describing the events that led to him finding his powers, his first fight and victory against another macro, which resulted in its death, then meeting up with Nightfall and his villagers and ending it either right before or after the time skip right as he's returning home.
That's just my suggestion, so you don't have to go along with it, but maybe more time focusing on establishing the world, rather than establishing the character's backstory, would be beneficial. I admit, focusing too heavily on characters instead of setting is an issue I have with writing myself, so I'm probably not necessarily the best person to be taking advice from, but I at least hope you'll consider what I've said.
Cool, thank you. Yeah I know it came out a bit rushed. One of my big problems is I tend to get impatient writing the parts that I find boring and so I try to rush through them. Like you said too, I was trying to cram too much of his backstory into one document, and might be better off making it into several.
I'll keep what you said in mind and appreciate the suggestion. I'll definitely try and make a few others on the setting, culture of Lunana, and especially one on the city of Bai'O. I'd really like to flesh out the type of world Kayko lives in.
I'll keep what you said in mind and appreciate the suggestion. I'll definitely try and make a few others on the setting, culture of Lunana, and especially one on the city of Bai'O. I'd really like to flesh out the type of world Kayko lives in.
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