Awww, liked the ending, especially. <3 Very nice! And it's neat to see a script with more intentional focus on camerawork, via direction. Was that something the teacher stressed, or was that just the way you wrote it? *wags*

--Dh

He had to write it that way for his Film Analysis class. I enjoyed the whole thing and it had great imagery; painting out each scene for me, which is rare for me in literary works. I was a little bummed at the end though; our new roommate asked me a question and broke the flow. Other than my being interrupted it was great! ~Den

Yeah, the cameraish things were something I put in at the Teacher's unwritten request. He told us to write it as visually as possible, and not use things like 'He's weary from a long day of work', instead using 'He sighs and walks dejectedly back to his car, dragging his feet', etc. It's 75% 'The way I wrote it' and 25% 'Teacher said so' I think.

Prof gave me some great comments for it, now it's time to refine it into something more... might even end up filming this by the end of the semester!

That was a cute little story. You handled the breaks in between your what if scenarios well and I found the ending to be very nice.

A+